We did a similar thing for the EN board to help people who had just arrived and give others links to important articles and threads that were particularly helpful. Folks tend to stay on the board where they start, so it helps to have the resources right at the top. This board has special needs and is unique from others. Please give me some idea and we will work through the building together. In the end...the welcome thread will be originated by "Group Effort" and all the authors will be noted for their contributions. Check out the one on EN for ideas...and let me know if any of you would like to handle a certain subject. Brainstorm. Make suggestions.

Great idea star*fish. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I contacted a few of the oldies from this forum quite a while ago about creating a "General Welcome to the P/C Forum" but we never got around to it.

Count me in! I'm game!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Brilliant idea... Star!

What kind of things would be especially helpful to include on this forum besides the the regular stuff? Does anything come to mind?

Here's my idea: "Recommended Reading" ...

I would like to begin a thread asking others which particular books helped them the most.

We could put together a list of good reference books. Have the list available all in one place. Have a brief description of each book and why it is recommended reading.

What do you all think about that?

Pep

<small>[ October 26, 2004, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

oops

<small>[ October 26, 2004, 08:18 AM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

I think reading good books is great! However, I personally did not have any time to read when I was just getting thru this. Not books at least. I did really appreciate small articles that I could make it thru without either crying or just not having the time/concentration to complete! The articles were invaluable to me.

So, I guess my input aside from light reading would be this- Perhaps a punch list of sorts regarding the stages of this - the grief- anger- confusion, whatever. Also what to expect or what seems to be the "norm" behaviour for the WS. It helped me tremedously to SEE that I was going thru EXACTLY what so many were. And also that my WS was not unique at all w/his CRAZY behaviour, etc.

gio,

Would you be willing to help with that? You could start a thread and ask people for contributions and compile them so that we can add it the welcome thread. This seems like a really good idea.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by giovanna123:
<strong> I think reading good books is great! However, I personally did not have any time to read when I was just getting thru this. Not books at least. I did really appreciate small articles that I could make it thru without either crying or just not having the time/concentration to complete! The articles were invaluable to me.

So, I guess my input aside from light reading would be this- Perhaps a punch list of sorts regarding the stages of this - the grief- anger- confusion, whatever. Also what to expect or what seems to be the "norm" behaviour for the WS. It helped me tremedously to SEE that I was going thru EXACTLY what so many were. And also that my WS was not unique at all w/his CRAZY behaviour, etc. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow ... great idea.

Pep

adited to add... We could call it the "No, you're NOT crazy" list... (j/k)

<small>[ October 26, 2004, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

What about an area devoted to "legal" issues...like what steps need to be taken? Seems like one poster was talking about how her lawyer advised her not to have contact alone with the OC (in the beginning) to prevent any trouble if something accidentally happened. I think this kind of advise would be very helpful for people.

Why don't we start "phase" by "phase".

For example- we ask everyone to contribute a few senteneces each on the way they felt after dday.

Then we move to descriptions of what came next- like "hysterical bonding" or the "honeymoon" phase .. then the anger...

But I know a lot of ladies here are better with the names of the phases or what have you... I'm just a nutball freak who doesnt do anything orderly or in a process. I'm all over the place all day in mind and body!! ha!! I need someone else who is more organized or has more time (and doesn't have to minimize every 2 seconds or have her kids using the computer all night...)

What do you think?

I think phases are a good idea. I quess Phase One would be "discovery"...first of the affair, then of the pregnancy...and for some this happens simultaneously.

What I found when we were doing this on EN...that it was easier to compile, if we made a thread for each "piece" of it. Then we compiled it later and linked to threads were built.

So the purpose of the Phase One thread...would be to describe for new folks...what to expect, what is normal, what the whole range of emotions that accompany this phase is like...and then some loose idea of how long this lasted for "most" folks...because that's bound to vary.

So do you want to start a Phase one thread?

Sounds good, Starfish.

Gotta run home now. Talk to you tomorrow about this.

I'd love to see someone start a thread about navigating through the decision to have/not have contact with OC. What information was most helpful in reaching a decision? How to go about reaching a POJA on that discussion: ground rules, brainstorming ideas, etc.