The plight of the married man.

He's already **ed up in his thinking and in his current marriage, which usually inovolves children. He is obviously confused, hurt, selfish and troubled to some extent to pursue and A.

He becomes involved in an A because he is able to justify it for some selfish reason or another- usually "W's fault for bla bla bla"...

Then he impregnants a woman who MOST LIKELY said she was on BC, or they just lose their adult marbles.

He realizes, as do many people in life-altering gut wrenching situations, that he was a selfish freaking ****to his wife and his family, who loves mre than life, but, took for granted, or did not have the decency to work it out with. SHE takes him back because, after all, he is her H and the father of her babies and they have a history. OR maybe she was also very unhappy, but was NOT going to be selfish and act like a true lady!!!! But WE are evil- and WE will PAY for wanting our H's to be OUR H STILL. And, he was GOLDEN and her SOUL MATE when he was the bad guy to his "first mortgage"- his family!!!

Okay.... THEN he is told by OW that he is an *******because he wants to keep his family that he has had for years before her and who he truly loves. She was ****** him mostly, and had some fun carefree times w/him or a mock relationship w/on the side. She feels she deserves his blood now, for life. AND she is out to get it. Some fow even have thE ULTIMATE gull to believe THEY will do as they please and come out smelling like a rose. She may even believe that SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE HER BABY AND RUN LIKE HELL AND SAY **** YOU AND PLAY GAMES W/HIM.. if SHE chooses. SHE can have an abortion... adoptio.. SHE SHE SHE is the ruler of earth and mother nature becasue SHE is pregnant. She was ok w/her relationship being in the dark- she knew the SCORE but NOW the child's life matters even if HERS did not??? I care about MY LIFE my BODY because I am a valuable child of God... I DIGRESS..

xMM MUST PAY for his sin and PAY heavily - ESPECIALLY if he has a WIFE who dares to be so "weak" and "cruel" not to be able to have C w/the child. And BW better shut her big mouth and stay out of HER AND "mm's" BUSINESS!! Oh and we better PROVE our undying love for oc-- and if you and H love Oc- forgedaboutit- they'll pull visits cause they feel threatened.

Ugggg.. I too am guilty of letting something throw me into a tizzy in my little mind. REading OW RALLY AND ENCOURAGE a pregnant OW into RUNNING from her fmm- and only DEMANDING child support and taking his gifts via internet ordering-in lieu of sleeping w/him .... take the gifts, tell him diddly squat and disappear. REFUSE DNA TEST unless she wants child support????? Because he had the NERVE to freak when she got preg (after saying she was sterile)... so NOW he never has a chance if he wanted to maybe be a father-- BUT AGAIN- 20 OW telling her to TAKE THIS *** FOR ALL HE HAS,and don't ever let him see the child.... SO AGAIN THE OW CAN MAKE A DECISION FOR NC BASED ON HER LIFE'S NEEDS.. AND COLLECT $$$$$$$ AND GIFTS...... BUT MM IS A FREAK IF HEEEEEEE WANTS NC??? And he gets no say!!!!! Just PAY PAY PAY!

plight of the MM and BS w/OC *************!!! And OW doesn't even have to broadcast she is preg to MM- she can say ANYTHING..AND OW does NOT have to GO HOME AND EXPLAIN THIS TO HER HUSBAND AND KIDS-- SHE does not have a raving, hurt, DESTROYED wife to handle EVERY DAY. AND IF SHE DOES have a H.. THE H USUALLY SUPPORTS HER and the child ALONG W/MM!!!! WOWEEEEE what a trip!! ANd a freaking LOSE LOSE FOREVER situation for MM/BW...

Gwenie say away from the other board.. it is NOT healthy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

HOW WONDERFUL it feels to have the REAL joy of my H AND FAMILY all together and being in love w/H again... how God is beginning to smile on us again and show us how happy he is that we are making our marriage work. Ow or OC cannot penetrate our family, ever. The plight we are in now is definitely being overpowered by the love and warmth back in our eyes. It shakes me up that I can *never* make any of these people understand how much we and our fws do not deserve such unfair and often sick treatement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

SORRY so long! I got a whole 60 minutes on the computer w/no kids busting my butt!! AND my H painted the sunroom here BRILLIANT red and it is sooooo awesome and warm in here I dont wanna leave! LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

**edited to add***

How could I forget to mention...that the BS BETTER GET USED TO THE OP- they MATTER and THEY HAD A PROMISE and had YOUR MAN and thats LIFE-- LOVE IT, SWALLOW IT AND FORGEDABTOUT IT, cry baby!!! LOL LOL !!

<small>[ October 27, 2004, 11:11 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Imagine that- 20 "LynnG"'s on the hoor board telling the OW how to make out like a bandit.

Disgusting.

Gio come on.......... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> It was not like you explained. We are d*mnd if we do and don't. You also forgot to mention that she was told that he has every right to that child as she does. He's the father and if he wants to be apart of the childs life he can. He offered and we were using the MB principles by not putting her with him on a shopping spree and told her if he really wanted to buy her baby stuff to register on babys r us and let him buy it that way. We also told her not to be in physcall contact with him. Not to share a motel room with him. It was not right. I personally don't care if you tell about things that we talk about it's an open forum, but please add everything to it. I thought we were getting past some of this?????? I do not mean this sarcastic either. By the way.....my niece just did the same color as you in her living room and if it looks anything like her's it very warm and cozy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 27, 2004, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

I think I've posted this on the wrong board
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
can someone tell me how to post on SBF?

I never said I was "past" any of this, by the way. I am supposed to be according to you and OW as I said in my post.

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

SBF?

Star, Sisters by fire. We didnt have any luck getting on the Private board so we made our own. That way we could have our pictures up and get to know each other better. Safely. My email is pretty much on here and BS w/OC <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> can join, just send an email. Here it is again just incase anyone needs it. mbsunnyd@yahoo.com. And I will forward to the admin. there.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D.

Thanks sunny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You aren't the first person to mention having trouble getting on the private board, so hope you noticed I wrote to Tempest and got some information for you guys if you're still interested. My guess is that's where most of the early veterans who used to anchor this board have gone. That loss has probably contributed to the chaos that breaks out from time to time because they are farther along in navigating this successfully. I think it would still be a great resource for those of you who are in the early (first few years) of this recovery...so check out what T had to say about the approval process, and if you still have problems, let me know and I'll see if there is anyway I can help.

star, I myself have been accepted to the private, but alot of the BS that have been here as long as I have, haven't. Like you said I'm sure tempest is really busy and they should resend their emails. Our group is for the support, cry on my shoulder kind of thing. Alittle more personal and private. Not any of us plan on leaving here. This is where we LEARN to improve our M!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hey Sunny! I emailed you!

I dont have much to contribute here anymore! I am recovering, YES, but I am very short wicked still- and have to put those flames out at home when I get heated. Here I am too free and may hinder the girls here who have "better" tempers than I do! LOL!!

ok g i didn't get it. mbsunnyd@yahoo.com. try again.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Gio Sorry, I guess I thought because you said what you've said that you were further along. Please accept my apoligies.

NTMO- I guess this is what it is.. I am only really in recovery w/my H since May of this year. If you want to count since (dday)(which one?) it would still only be since July of 03.

I think I am all better now, then I realize I am not. then I think I am all better again.. and I still have a way to go, know what I mean? I wish I could skip some of the mandatory hurting time, and I tried and tried again, but some still remains for many of us even much longer than a year or so of course. Esp w/oc involved you could add a lifetime to that for some!

Gio...I read the thread you were talking about. NTMO was right....you just edited down to what "you" wanted to say.

Before you get all "hissy" at me...I was just agreeing with NTMO. I don't think the advice given was so wrong. JMHO.

ent

Here comes the OW advocate... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by giovanna123:
<strong>
I think I am all better now, then I realize I am not. then I think I am all better again.. and I still have a way to go, know what I mean? I wish I could skip some of the mandatory hurting time, and I tried and tried again, but some still remains for many of us even much longer than a year or so of course. Esp w/oc involved you could add a lifetime to that for some! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">On the other side but can I ever relate to that. I was standing in my girl friend's kitchen this morning seemingly fine and then wham....ended up in a puddle of tears on the floor. No idea why....well I have some idea but it wont help anyone here to post it. I am sorry for your pain...sorry that we both can't make it just go away....when is it the magic time when all is healed anyway?

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: twilight ]</small>

Here comes the OW advocate...

--------------------

Once again....Just because I can see the other side....
Go ahead...attack...
I'm not going to fight back....

ent

Gio and Twillight,

Boy, I can *certainly* relate to what you were both saying about things just sneeking up on you and *WHAM*!

Even a few years after my assault, and even though I had counseling and I have lots of support, it'll creep up on me in the oddest ways at the oddest times...and I consider myself to be pretty well healed..but still...

Sometimes I have nightmares, sometimes I just get nauseous out of the blue for no reason...lots of things.
And yes, sometimes I just sit alone and cry my eyes out.

We've had traumatic life events happen, however they came to us, and we'll always be "dealing" with them in some way....

Here's hoping the healing is swift for all!

Hello Ladies,

Yes, everyday is a challenge and a struggle. Stay praying, and keep your head up so u can see where u are going.

Take Care.

Gio, they can whine and cry all they want, once they force an unwanted child onto the MM, and get CS, things can change legally, quite quickly.

I know you are hurting and angry. But let me remind you that once cs is set, the rest is up to the couple. They can chose contact or not. If they chose contact, they can fight AND GET 50% time with the child. The ow ALWAYS fail at that rationalization. That he will have just as much right to that child as she does IF HE WANTS IT. She can't do squat. I suggest you go and speak to an attorney and read some court cases in your area. OW can't control squat once cs is established.

We beat the holy crap out of our ow legally. She tried to play games and tried so hard to manipulate us. What did she get? Some time behind bars and liens against her home. She along with her family had to sit in court and listen to the judge tell her off, and how he "knew her type" and she was, on the record blasted for "using her child as a means to exact revenge on a man for not wanting her" and "his family is his first concern and ow needs to learn to live with that" THIS IS ALL ON RECORD.

So, while I understand your anger, don't let it eat you up. If you dont want to see oc and are chosing nc, forget about it.

Oh, and I do see the ow supporter here too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> PERFECT example of why POJA is so important. PERFECT example of why it is vital that you let your needs be known, and that you be honest with yourself and then your spouse and work on it from there.

See Hater, I mean Chearful..

THIS IS THE BULL, that gets me going and keeps me piss*ed off w/you....

Do you think I can tell an OW on a board where OW is.. that her BELIEFS are "DISGUSTING" ?

THIS is what ticks my a** off. You contribute NOTHING and you have a cold heart. Why are you HERE? You have NOTHING nice to say or supportive.

Am I too old to say NOT FAIR? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />