M&TB-- it takes more time than we "want" it to - its that "madatory" hurt that just plain takes time..

HOWEVER, we ALSO have the other 50% of control over JUST H0W LONG we are willing to succomb to the pain. It gets to be time to move on! And once you decide to MOVE IT ON.. it "still" takes a little while! LOL!

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 08:42 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Also, I was always the love them & leave them.. or deal w/it and be happy in a week type of person-- but all of THIS? WHEW I lived out my "destiny" of feeling a terrible (worst kind) of broken heart! OUUUch!

But still, at the corey you always have to be the type of woman who can ultimately ALWAYS return to being a STRONG and HEALTHY person. I've always had that as a rule, and it is the key to staying, basically ALIVE ! LOL.

We do need to remember how precious our lives are- and... how fragile it is-we NEED to love being young- I know I do at -- at 32 I feel like 21 (for real) inside!!! Mostly that is....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But still, at the core you always have to be the type of woman who can ultimately ALWAYS return to being a STRONG and HEALTHY person </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Very, very true.

Gio, "cheerful" is a hoot. Her delusions are quite grand!!! They are such a perfect example of the twisted and self absorbed mind of an ow and why they don't matter!

If she were truly as content as she thinks she is coming across as (she isn't), why would she need to be here? She is here lashing out to make herself feel better. As much as NTMO and I battle, at least I can believe that she is a good mother and loves her children. "cheerfull" comes across as dangerous to her own child. Imagine her poor child growing up, realizing that he is an oc, and realizing that his mother changed her name <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Don't let her get your goat, pity her.

Lynn,
Thank you for your assessment.

Truth be told, I have lurked here for over a year. I have learned a lot.

I lurked here because I wanted to understand the ENTIRE ASPECT of this situation.

If you notice, I (generally) only reply to BS's who ASK for opinions from OW. I imagine if they are asking OW opinions, then they too desire to understand the other aspect of this situation.

Haven't you ever asked yourself "Why did this OW do this to my family? Why didn't she walk away when she found out he was married?" You know you have, I know you have.No, it's not a MB principles thing to do, but it's the normal human psyche and you can't stop it.

Some people want answers, and that is why they entitle the thread "Question for OW's", etc.

To be honest, I have no idea why I post here. Like I said before, I have read here for over a year. I only posted recently when a BS asked for opinions from OW.

Am I content? Usually.
I have my days, just like every woman on this board, just like every woman on the planet. I have calmed down a significant amount. Reading here does help me do that. I understand what is really going on now. I had no clue before. No clue.

If I can understand what is happening to your family and it helps me to realize that NC is the best way to go, then don't you think that a BS that is posting and wants to know an OW point of view someday might realize that NC is the right decision for her family too?

I'm on your side LynnG- NO CONTACT.

Call me what you want- I'm a woman, I can be anything, I can do anything- the name just might fit that day.

CLO,

"What did the OW think would happen????rant!"

You knew this was rhetorical question...you even said so. It wasn't a question at all...it was a rant...vent....quite obviously too. So your explanation for responding is as disingenuous as your response itself.

You don't just respond when OW opinions are asked for anyway...a large portion of your posts have nothing do that...certainly not the thread you started yourself where you asked Lynn about whether the status of OC would change when he reached adulthood. The idea that you support no contact or her "side" is ridiculous. If you did...you wouldn't continue to point about MMs "loss" in that equation and how much he's missing out on. Your posts have nothing to do with giving OWs opinion...they are all about finding polite ways to hurt these ladies so you can watch.

You say you don't know why you post here...but really it's pretty transparent. You're here to "mock" these ladies. Even the name "cheerful" mocks their pain and anxiety...it's a slap in the face. How nice that you have found cheerfulness while their lives are fraught with anxiety and pain...nevermind that it's a lie. Afterall, cheerful folk don't spend their time this way. I don't wish unhappiness on you...but you flaunt it every time you post under that name and I find that to be cruel by design. You're here because you just can't look away. And you're here because in your own small cheerful way, you can turn the knife just a little and watch the results. You're here because you know you shouldn't be...which makes it a little rebellious and juicy. You're here to promote your own agenda. You're here because you know it hurts these ladies for you to be here spreading cheerfulness. You say you want understanding...but that isn't evident...it's more like you want them to understand you....whether they're ready for that or they aren't.

<small>[ October 29, 2004, 07:13 AM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:

I lurked here because I wanted to understand the ENTIRE ASPECT of this situation.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Understand this:

Adultery is always a wrong choice.

Everyone gets hurt.

Marriages can recover after infidelity.

Marriage is a better model to raise kids than adultery.

OP has no business interfering with any marriage.

Marriage decisions are between two people.

Once there is an OC there are other choices to be made by the married couple.

Nothing changes the basic fact that affairs are always wrong and everyone gets hurt.

Now you understand the entire aspect.

Pep

Thank you Starfish, Thank you Pep.

Well said, both of you, and much appreciated. I'm sick of this one here.. I guess I was the BW that rubbed the bottle and had this sweeite come out..

She even became a member and HAD POST 1, to little old me... nice, very nice, I feel special <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />