I think alot of you are getting the wrong idea about me.... My H & I have been married for 9yrs and we have a 8yr old daughter togather and H has Oc by ow and she is 7yrs old.. He had made a mistake and so did the ow... THINGS HAPPEN. but any way he has contact w/ our step daughter. we both love her but as for me i don't beleive in having affair i married this man for life and i wouldn't do that to him he means to much to me. And so far after all that i hope he feels the same way.. thx <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: DRAWSTRING ]</small>

I want to welcome you and direct you to the welcome thread. Welcome Thread
Like I said in the other thread, we are here to help.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

so if i'm guessing right do i need to start there and then work up to those other posts <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

No we want to hear your story! And this is a good place to start reading. You expressed concerns about other A and you didn't have this site years ago and we all have learned from each other and the concepts and agreements and so on. Glad your here to help and seek it. We all are in our own little ways. Even the oldies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

ok thank you so much and thank you for welcomimg me i'll have to do this when i get back picking oc up to go out dinner with us thank you agian

Drawstring,

What nationality are you? I'm wondering if perhaps there is a language issue and that's why there are some misunderstandings? Maybe you're just so sad and upset you're having trouble typing, but I wanted to make sure that English is your first language. If it isn't....that would explain some confusion. These are confusing times....so you might just be emotional...still I wanted to check because a few times on these boards...I've seen someone mistaken for a troll for this reason.

hugs!

<small>[ October 28, 2004, 05:16 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

I LIVE IN CANADA FOR WHILE I JUST MOVED BACK

ds....I'm kinda in the same situation you are in. I have an 17 month old and her father was with me from day one even there in the delivery room then i found out when my daughter was three months. Then i found out he was cheating on me and now i have a step son who's about 2 months i mena i'm not with the father of my child but i still consider oc a stap son we are trying to work out our problems but i don't see anything changeing

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ds....I'm kinda in the same situation you are in. I have an 17 month old and her father was with me from day one even there in the delivery room then i found out when my daughter was three months. Then i found out he was cheating on me and now i have a step son who's about 2 months i mena i'm not with the father of my child but i still consider oc a stap son we are trying to work out our problems but i don't see anything changeing</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Heart... all i can tell you is to take one day at a time!! i hope H has contact with both children...i'm glad you guys are trying to work things out. it kinda hard at first but you know things will start to show that they are changing.. it will take time so take it slow don't be in a hurry .... because being in hurry will only make it worse good luck and take care

DS....how am i to know when he's done with his cheat? How do i know that when hes with me he's not thinking of someone else? He does have contact with both children. Step child stays over my house every other weekend. He comes over takes them to parks. Hes a good father i guess just a bad partner. How do i know when he's ready to settle down?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">DS....how am i to know when he's done with his cheat? How do i know that when hes with me he's not thinking of someone else? He does have contact with both children. Step child stays over my house every other weekend. He comes over takes them to parks. Hes a good father i guess just a bad partner. How do i know when he's ready to settle down?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You may never know that. For me the i knew h was cheating was he would come home and for day he would not kiss or hold me but thats is me some men have different signs and i'm glad he has contact with the children at less he does that just remember counseling does wonders, he might be a man who doesn't do well with relationships .

i was wondering on one thing i know i have mix felling on last names my h oc has xow last name and not h's last name which is because my beleive is that if their not married the oc should have xow maiden last name. do you have the same fellings as i do or no the reason i'm asking is because xow wants to put h last name instead... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Well what if he sleeps with someone with out me knowing it and then comes home and wants more?

I think child should keep mother last name.. the way i see it is i put my self in the childs shoes going by one name for so long then it being chaged to another i think that would ust be a lil more confusing to the child if you know what i mean

Heart,
i think you ask him to get tested for all kinds of diseases. if you think he is doing all of that sleeping around he should be check ....you don't to catch anything like aids


yes i know what you its been 7 yrs since oc was born and she been by mothers maiden name and just cahnging it may confuse the child more .. because the child is already going threw enough they should ask to go threw more confusion ty

he gets tested every 3 months and it always comes out negitive so yeah


If any mother wants to put and child thru alot more then what Child as alreqdy gone thru then they ain't out to be a mom just to get attention from people

Heart i know what you mean but you know alot of things don't change
for instants i don't know your awhole story and i won't either because i hear your side of things but not the other so it kinda hard to give advice and same for you because you don't know my whole story you just know my side of things
i was talking to xow today and i told her about this site and about other sites so she can try some things for help that way she don't have depend on rides to go to some of her support group maybe she can find some peace when she can't find a babysitter and rides .. so that way if she don't have a way she can get online in her home and get some advise too.

<small>[ November 03, 2004, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: DRAWSTRING ]</small>

DS...Does this site actually help any? How long have you been here? Has anyone here gaven you any good advice that you can take and use? I can tell you his side he thinks i'm a ***** and he's just not ready to settle down yet.If he was ready to settle down i don't thing he would of did all that he has done. I'm not going to lie i'm a ***** (most women are).Honestly i think he was with cause of our daughter.I have made my mistakes i've lied here and there but it had never been nothing that big to brake his heart. Only on stuff like his birthday gifts and what not you know

yes some stuff on are good and i relized i'm not the only one out there that has problems every body has problems i 've beem here for maeybe a week i think and so for everybody has advise to give some are good and some are not for me
sorry i'm painting my kitchen at the same time i doing this but girl thing well get better it just takes time and trust me i mean some time but i hope things go right for you i like talking to you so stay in touch

DS....Enough aobut me what' you story ? What brings you here?

Heart are you still there I haven't been on in awhile been busy i was wondering how things are going for you.. Hope everything is going great for you and hope to talk to you soon take care