Ok, first, I should apologize for the cussing words. My whole family could make a sailor blush so I forget that some people aren't use to it and could be offended.
Second, I'm sorry I missed the drama and posts were deleted before I could read them so I wasn't able to give the butt kicking I was hoping for. I don't know what Lemon or said to get deleted. But from what I can gather it blames the MM/WH again and its all his fault. I'm so sick of hearing that! YES my H had sex with another woman, YES I blame him and hold him 100% responsible for that. I divorced him and ONLY after years of SEEING that he had changed back into the man I loved 110% did I reconcile with him. I hold him 100% responsible for having an affair, he would have had an affair with ANY woman who was willing. It wasn't about HER or even ME, it was about HIM!!
Maybe some people don't get this but I look at cheaters and the ones they cheat with not as a bad person in general but someone who doesn't respect or love THEMSELVES enough, I don't think its about the W or H. I don't think a lot of women grow up thinking "Hey I'd really like to screw a MM and hurt a lot of people" nor do the men get married thinking "Alright, in 7yrs I can cheat on my wife and kids!" I never for one minute felt my H didn't love me and want to be with me but he didn't love and respect himself enough to resist the temptation of some new/different sex. Our sexlife was always good but who doesn't crave a little variety now and then? My OW really wasn't that bad when she was trying to fix her own M but since they ended up getting D, she has started to play games with us.
But I hold HER 100% responsible for the unwanted pregnancy. That may piss some people off but I hold myself 100% responsible for my body and my reproduction choices and its not always easy! I'm an active Planned Parenthood volunteer and I know that there are NOT as many truly "accidental" pregnancies as women want men to believe. A 42 year old woman came into the clinic and had her tubes tied over 15yrs ago but one grow back together and she was pregnant. THAT is accidental. The failure of the pill when taken correctly (that is the key) is less than 1%. Until they invent an effective birth control for men (which is in the works) I will believe that its up the woman to protect herself and her children born and unborn. I'm sure with out CS forced by law, we would have a lot more women protecting themselves from an unwanted pregnancy!
The OW have a right to choose to keep their babies, raise and love them, I have no problem with that. The men should be given the same choice and they're not! The CS system is unfair and unjust for most families I know. It would hurt like hell to know that my beautiful weren't loved and wanted by their father and I'm sure this hurts the OW too. They played a dangerous game and lost!! Deal with it!

I have more to say but work is really busy! Just wanted to update!

It wasn't about HER or even ME, it was about HIM!!

That is the KEY right there. Can't think of how many times I have said that myself!!!!!!

I think it even took awhile for my H to 'get it'.

The blame game is funny isn't it? It just goes in circles around & around.

I get frustrated when people can't own up to their OWN choices that they made. THAT irritates the heck out of me.

Some people find it sooooo hard to just say, out loud......yes, I chose this & I chose BADLY. Why? I don't know.

That is the part I hate..when OW tells me that NONE of this is her fault. WTHECK?????? That's some serious denial-the girls' got issues---big time!

SO anyway........I think when we can realize even this one point......it makes getting the rest of 'it' even easier.

It's like when my H would try to say..I ALWAYS knew I loved you.......uh? I don't think so...You cannot say that you loved ME when you were cheating (to say it nicely)---IMPOSSIBLE---just admit that the ONLY person you loved was YOU!!!!

kwim?
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Any way.......hope you are feeling better today & I think it is really cool that you & H got back together even after being divorced. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ooo
xxx
kt

I know exactly what you mean by ow not taking any responsiblity for the plight of the children they choose to keep. They blame EVERYONE for it, except their own poor choice. Then when they are confronted about it, the first thing out of their mouths is "it is all mm fault" If a BS is talking about no contact, they are so quick to say "bw only blames ow" I guess they need to believe that, cause the truth would hurt them to much.

The bw DO NOT BLAME THE OW FOR EVERYTHING. I have always thought that ow think BW are begging and pleading and doing anything to keep MM happy. Hardly. It would be much easier for any man to go to the ow rather then put up with all he will from his betrayed wife.


Then when they cry foul about those of us who chose no contact, they still don't get it. Choices made in a marriage have nothing to do with what ow wants.

But really, who cares what they think? Life is short, go and live it!!

Gwenie get out of my head!! I agree 100%!! I never blamed the OW upon discovery...Totally on him...What changed me? Well after discovery of the OC she IMed me and apologized. But in the very next sentence said JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME! Who does that?

Soon after she tracked me down to a place where I found solace. Proceeded to tell details. Then I find out that she had a pregnancy test done 5 days before her cycle was due? OK I totally believed BC failed bc she was supposedly on antibiotics. However, if your not planning on a preg why think you are 5 days before your cycle if you have never been pregnant ever in your life? If you supposedly cant conceive. Hell I had a hard time concieving and while married I still waited until I was a week past my due date before I took a test. Doesnt add up.

All in all I do not believe in abortion and Im glad that my stepdaughter is here today. I FEEL BLESSED!! This sweet baby is what made my marriage BETTER! Woke up hubby!! My point? BE HONEST!! DONT DENY!! Dont lie!! And dont shift.

I respect my husband bc he never ever blamed OW. He took full responsibility. He even said that he felt horrible for what he had done to OW and OWs family. It hurt that he would think of her and her family yes, but it was comforting to me that he thought that big.

He was and is a keeper. Till this day he has done nothing but make things right by us. US FIRST!! Foundation is key to any family. Finally our foundation is solid enough that we are focused on that sweet angel and giving her the love and care she deserves...