relationship with husband is great until we are on the topic of oc. See the ow allowed us to have child whenever we wanted, but since cs was finalized she cut it off. Now she is telling us to get visitation set up. I guess she is afraid that we will try and get shared parenting or custody. I know this is what my husband wants and it frustrates me to see him focus on fighting her in court, and not our home. He has become obessed with this and its making us at odds. I told him to just pay the support and stop spending money fighting her. I dont understand why the visitation was not setup in court when the judge asked them. She had stated earlier that visitation was not a problem to her, So now why the change? We have not talked in a few days because the last conversation we had he told me that the financial part was none of my business and why I concern myself with the money he is spending. I just figure that its what the ow wants, him to spend, spend and spend as a way of punishing him. Her behavior has totally changed, she says the only reason she has to send oc to our home is if she needed a break. what a way to make me feel used. I tried to introduce poja to H but he's a man's man and thinks he does not have to ask my permission or agree with me on certain things. I feel like he involves me only when it comes to taking care of the oc. It makes me feel just a little bit resentful and more hurt. I dont want to be the one to break the ice because I dont want to discuss oc anymore. I just wish that everything was good, and no one was bitter and angry. I cant understand how H does not understand my pain, and why I may feel neglected. I guess Im just suppose to get over it, and smile, smile, smile. Im tired of smiling, and tired of feeling like my H and ow doormat. Should I just totally not discuss situation with him and let him deal with these issues on his own? I just dont know if I could let go. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hi I don't really have any advice as this is so new to me, but just wanted to say I am sorry for your difficulties. I understand in a way what your H is going through because my H told me to back off and let him make some decisions on his own. He needs to feel like a man and I was not letting him. H's OC is not born yet though, you are dealing with missing the child which I am so sorry for. Sorry that xow is playing games with the child, it is so unfair to all. Hang in there.

FF