Severely long...mucho apologies.
First and foremost, let me say hello to everyone. I have been sneaking around here as a guest before I finally found it in myself to register as a user, realizing that I could definately get some much needed advice here. Most of the stories I have read are far more devestating than my own, in fact, I give many kudos to all of you. Many, many, well-deserved kudos.
Here is my story. I have known my SO for almost 7 years. Literally, every rule in the book was broken, we lived together as roommates prior to the relationship, he and my X were friends, as I was friends with his X until shortly before we started dating about this time last year. I booted the X for constant cheating, failure to commit, failure to pay for anything in the house, being a general loser. Then he turned psycho, whole other issue. My SO offically booted his X (they were off/on for 9 years, off most of last year) at the same time because we had come out with our supressed feelings for each other and desire to give "us" a shot. That, along with the fact that she is, quite literally, crazy.
Here is where it gets good. Right after we begin our relationship I was not really seriously into the idea of a relationship, although he professed he wanted a serious relationship. We got in a really tight money-bind, since prior to the two X's getting their stuff, the girl drained my bank account, and my X wrecked my car and snagged my insurance check. (Not an excuse, but I am aware I was a complete jack*** for letting this happen, and young and stupid, etc etc).
His X continues to call, send him IMs, emails, etc. She is offering money, which was the only thing she was really ever good for, was taking money from whereever she could to give to him. He asks my opinion on the situation, I told him specifically (since she had taken so much from me) to get what ever money he could from her, but to not be at her house, or really anywhere anything intimate could happen, although I really did not care what he said to her. They continued talking and rare meetings until 02/04, approx 3 months.
Later on, I became aware there was another girl in the picture. Someone he met on the internet, and had 4 encounters with. (World Series Time/03-early 01/04) This is the only factor I feel I know the truth about, since I did contact her, and he did confess...eventually. That is the molehill of the situation, I was really not "into" the relationship, I can get over that, I'm pretty much already over it, but facts are facts, it happened.
He proposed 06/12/04. I accept. He had asked X for NC after 02/04. Mutual friends tell me how he told his X he wanted NC because he was to marry me. She continues to harrass us.
Here is the kicker.
In August, she sends him an IM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> We are sitting at the computer together, and he closes it. Next day, he calls me to tell me how they had a really nice conversation, and how she had become religious and had been saved from all her prior sins, and was ready to give us her blessing, blah blah blah. I contact her, she states nothing of the sort has been said, except she has been saved. We move past, and continue to talk on an occasional basis, although she would IM him daily. She lives 2 hours away, in the same city we are both from, and where my parent's live. We made a trip to see my parents, and he was to see his family. (8/30/04) The relationship is getting rocky at this point, cause she is taking things far out of hand, and I've expressed that if they want to be together, I will remove the engagement ring and let them be. They say no. She begins again offering money. I was unaware of this until later on, because he didn't accept the offer. They have contact up until 9/30/04. It ended because of her total lack of respect for me while she spoke to him. Yet she kept sending me messages throughout this time. About 10/07 or so she tells me they had a PA, once, the first night we went to her town (8/30/04). She now tells me she is pregnant, first doctor's apt being 11/24/04.
She sends him an email, and a text message to check his email. She CC'd me on this email, so I knew the contents prior. He calls me, to ask me to check his email to see who emailed him. I read him the "I am pregnant" email. His reply, "Somebody must think I'm stupid." I confronted him prior to this, he says it is not possible, they never had sex, he was not even there on the night in question. He has offered to get a DNA test to show that he would never do that to me at this stage of our relationship. Hense, he has "settled down".
My issue is now, he has hidden the truth before, and it is my nature to have a difficult time trusting men in the first place. However, I have known this girl for 8 years. I know the ridiculous bounds she has gone to just to get him back in her life. She is very overweight, and has a very low self esteem. The only relationships she has ever had were with him or over the internet. She has been to a mental doctor, and was previously diagnosed as a borderline pathological liar. We had plans to get married in April. Do I postpone this wedding on the slim-chance she may bear his child?
The question of leaving is not really it, as he will take a DNA test, and if it is his, I will leave. She has ruined a lot for him in his life, and he will realize she ruined the best thing he ever had if this child is his. He will learn from his ignorance if in fact he is lying here and now. This may be more of a rant post, but there is the question in it...if you have a pathological liar, and someone with tendencies of hiding the truth, and these two people are the only two people who know the answer to your question, who do you believe? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Thanks for listening. Any help is much apprecited.
