ow got into a fight with someone and the oc got a little hurt. ow called me to notify us. Husband picked up oc to make sure he was alright by taking him to the doctor, ow was furious. went to the hospital and took son home. Have not talked to the ow since. My H has filed for custody of the oc, and I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this. What are his chances that he will get custody or shared parenting. I've looked up laws but still unsure. My hope is that the lawyer is not just taking H money and not be totally unfront. Ow is not in stable situation, and does not always make the best decisons for oc.

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. If you've got pics, even better.......you sure as heck have doc's records now....make a diary of the reasons with DATES.......every LITTLE thing helps and looks better for you.

Being there right now, and doing that....

- Kimmy

Start checking w/ your state. GET educated!!! ANd know who you are dealing with. The judge wants PROOF, not just hear say! Its a hard road and i'm sure stacia will pop in and give you a few pointers. Good luck. And as long as you are doing it for all the right reasons, things will work out for the best.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

ndiy,
I am not completely up on your situation; I received an email asking that I drop in to see if I could help you.

You say the OW is not in a stable situation. Do you have other documentation to that effect? Did a Dr examine the OC in the ER? How old is OC? Has your H been involved with OC from the beginning?

When your H goes to court, he will need to show that the situation is unstable and what makes it unstable. He will need as much proof as he can get. The court will likely not listen to opinions. Because as we were told, "Its just a difference in Parenting styles."

My H filed for custody of Lil Bit as soon as we knew the DNA results. He was granted Joint Physical Custody, splitting the week in half. The initial proof we had dealt with her history. OW had a child removed from her custody due to failure to protect him from beatings administered by her exBF. She was neglecting Lil Bit at the time we filed and was proved to have neglected her, but because of the new parenting schedule (half the week with each parent) they said that Lil Bit was no longer at risk of being neglected.

After nearly 2 yrs of this schedule, OW's situation became much more unstable. She left Lil Bit with us for months on end, only calling to say she couldn't pick her up because of one excuse or another. All along, I was documenting the times and I continue to do so. I keep an online calendar so that I can access it anywhere.
I printed out a list of each incident when she gave up her time with Lil Bit, each communication between OW and us. I even went so far as to show the ratio of time spent with each parent. The referee that we had last year was impressed with the amount of documentation. He chastised OW for her lack of involvement with her daughter. He was surprised we offered her as much visitation as we did in the new parenting agreement/custody change. He warned her if she neglected to exercise her visitation, he would restrict her further. He even ordered her to pay child support. She didn't then and still does not have a job. She has not paid anything to help support Lil Bit this past year. Now that H has filed for c/s, I am sure we will be returning to court again soon.

Joint Custody will likely hinge on how involved your H has been in the OC's life. How old the OC is, how willing you are to be a big part of the visitation…and how much the OW fights against joint custody.

Get all your ducks in a row BEFORE court. Know as much of your state’s law as possible. It always helps to know what you are getting into before taking the plunge.

What do you know about the OW? Do you know much of her past? Find out what you can. Know whom you and your H will be co-parenting with.
Yes, I said co-parenting. No matter what type of custody is given, you will have to work with her. She is the bio-mother and the courts will do what they can to keep the child with the bio-mother, but if she is unstable and it is not a safe and healthy environment for the child to be with her they will do what they have to do to protect the child. IN THEORY, anyway… But visitation will still be granted... even if it’s supervised.

The better you are prepared to deal with her; the better off you will be in the long run.

Stacia

Stacia, not to tj, but what kindof online journal was it? I am interested in it for several reasons (not xmm he's not involved in my child's life). If you don't mind sharing, I'd be interested in knowing.

ntmo,
Its actually very simple, I use a Yahoo calendar.
Free and its easy to add items.

Have the visitation times automatically added and then I can put notes in as needed.

Too easy, huh?

Stacia

The doc did not get to examine child because she left with oc before they could. My H took pictures though. We are starting to document everything, and should have started this earlier. Anyway my H did not tell me that he was filing for custody saw the reciept to the lawyer. I sure that he is afraid that I would object to it. Im just waiting him out to see when he will tell me. I think that he has a good chance of getting shared parenting or so. And yes my husband did take pics of the oc with his injuries.