<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Whatever JM.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by findingmywayback:
<strong>
And you can continue your childish little game all you want on your little forum. Everyone expects the mods over there to have zero self control, zero ability to moderate without bias, and zero ability to tolerate anything but OW coddling. So it's just another day in "crazy world" over there.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then why do you continue to try and post there? That's what I don't understand.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You have a child to remind you forever.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you God, for my OC....for ever and ever. I may not like the way you loaned them to me, but I'd be a lot less of a human being without their dimples and chubby little hands.

I'm not saying that moms who have chosen NC are less human beings....but for me, personally, I'm a better person for all that I've been through and learned from these little people.

As for OW being over here....you have your safety zone...I've been there once. Once was enough for me....do not begrudge those of us here ours, please. If you cannot hold your tongue, please go there to vent...and I am saying please, I am asking nicely, and I'm not flying off the handle in any way.

Pep is ever so right....the view from the high road (whether you are OW or BW) is ever so much better and more informative than the view from the low.

- Kimmy

Finding - so you're due soon? I'm so happy for you...I've been too long from the boards and don't recognize very many.......Love to you....they didn't make you play that horrible toilet paper around the tummy game at your shower did they? OY....I was always mortified by that one.................LMAO! Blessings to you and your dh!

I agree kimmy!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Gwenieinabottle,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Again I don't agree with editing and deleting posts. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Once again, any questions about posts being deleted or edited can be emailed to your moderator and WILL NOT be debated or explained on the forum.

Any problems with that,,,email me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Everyone expects the mods over there to have zero self control, zero ability to moderate without bias, and zero ability to tolerate anything but OW coddling. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would appreciate you not making blanket statements about "ALL" mods on any board.

Thank you.

<small>[ November 08, 2004, 05:12 PM: Message edited by: meNtheboyz ]</small>

Oh my lord. The ow in our lives did quite a few of those "gimme gimmies" We laughed at her too. She too was all upset cause we were going on vacations (DW was one) and she too expected the oc to get the amount it would have cost to bring him???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> How it was so unfair and all the typical ow garbage. Of course she was swatted with a big rolled up newspaper too!! BY A JUDGE, who did just what your laywer said. She has leins against her house for being such a dunce.

She also thought that since we are able to buy our children cars, that we should buy oc one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Over the years she has wanted bikes, private school, money for an addition to her house, a car for her to "drive oc in". She really made us laugh. What a pathetic deluded person.

I don't think ow realized that their child IS NOT PART OF THIS FAMILY. He never will be considered as one either. PERIOD. Our financial obligation to him will be done in less then a year and we are taking a trip to Belize to celebrate the end of it all.

I too laugh at the audacity of these women. The way they blame the MM, and his wife for THEIR OWN CHOICE is hysterical. But, then when you read how truly selfish they are, how totally irrational they are, it makes sense. Can't get rationality from an irrational person.

Forget about ow and her hysterics. She isn't worth it. Let her live in the mudd she created.

Hope DW was fun. I love DW. Isn't it awesome? So relaxing I think. I love all the hokeyness, commercial aspect of it. Miles and miles of a huge playground!! I love it.

d

<small>[ November 28, 2004, 05:35 AM: Message edited by: baba2 ]</small>

They come here to stab people in the back. They are very angry women, who are livid at the world and see themselves as victims <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> They see themselves as totally innocent and that they have done no wrong.

Once their child is born, they go off the deepend when a marriage not only stays intact, but thrives despite the oc. They can't understand what real love is. They don't grasp the real meaning behind forgiveness. When they see that the oc (in the no/contac cases like mine) is not seen as a welcome addition to the family, instead a nuisance, they get enraged. They may cry "what is best for the oc" but what they really mean is "what I want". Our ow went round the bend when she realized that oc was never going to be accepted into our family. He would not be coming over to the house for anything. He would not be working at the family business. She actually said once "but I thought he would be inheriting part of the business someday.." She was in a full blown rage when she was told "no, he is not one of our children, OUR children will inherit the business." She couldn't grasp the simple fact that a mistake had been made, that she was part of. She had the CHOICE if she was going to keep that child or not. My Husband wanted her to abort. She kept oc. We pay cs and chose no contact.

Really, I can see her as one of those holier than thou OW, crying about the assdad, and how mean everyone is, how cruel etc. Never once realizing that those were HER choices.

So, no the OW like to stay in victimville. That way they don't have to face the truth.

I find it educational that they come here with their self serving nonsense. It shows the new BW dealing with this issue just how unstable they are, how selfish they will be. I think their "oc is all that matters" is good for BW to read about. SO they can see first hand how the ow expects the BW and the BC to "fix" this mess. So they do a great service actually.

If we BW were to tell our stories, another younger BW would think "they got to be kidding" And they might not protect themselves enough. An ow coming on here with her passive aggressive messages is so much better. We can basically point out all the delusions and explain WHY the oc is not the only one who matters, and how her children and she herself DO matter.

GOOD POINTS!

The OW may think having the child will insure that the other woman's husband, who she had sex with, will stick with her.

In fact, OW may be selfishly using the poor innocent OC as a pawn for her own sick purposes.

(this is nothing you BS don't already know but is amazing to me)

OK, let those miserable human beings (OW) that they are, come! The more of thier crazy poison they can show everyone here on a message board the more the BS will wise up and learn.

And the more crap the OW can spout out on a message board hopefully the less crap she can dump on her fatherless child she only wanted to have in order to cruelly use as a pawn.

Lets hope there is a "special place" designed for OW.......some day.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by baba2:
<strong> GOOD POINTS!

The OW may think having the child will insure that the other woman's husband, who she had sex with, will stick with her.

~~~~~~uh, no............I never thought that. I knew the night I took my pregancy test and it came postive I'd be raising this child alone, if I choose to keep her...which I did.

In fact, OW may be selfishly using the poor innocent OC as a pawn for her own sick purposes.

`````UH NO............my kids come first in my life. All 3 of them. There needs come way before my needs come. Now here's my holier than though statement "God loaned me these children" under the cirucmstances I have them and it's my job as there mother to be just that regardless of what life bumps brings us. Not to say I'm to sit there and allow them to be walked on, but I have to take care of my children first and foremost. Sick purposes........I don't think so. I'm doing what I feel is best for my family just as he is.....It could be put the other way too, but I won't.

(this is nothing you BS don't already know but is amazing to me)

OK, let those miserable human beings (OW) that they are, come! The more of thier crazy poison they can show everyone here on a message board the more the BS will wise up and learn.

~~~~~First of all, I'm far from miserable (except maybe once a month). I have no posion to show anyone. I would hope to God that if anything I can show that I can learn from the BW's as hopefully they can learn from me. All of our children suffer from this and there is no two ways about this.

And the more crap the OW can spout out on a message board hopefully the less crap she can dump on her fatherless child she only wanted to have in order to cruelly use as a pawn.

`````````Uh No. Your right my child has no father to be in her life. but I did not have her in order to crueley use as a pawn. She is my child that love with my heart and soul. I can not imagine my life without her and feel very guilty at times when I thought I had even considered putting her up for adoption at one time. As my two from my marriage I LOVE my daughters. I'd die for them. I care that xmm does not want to be a part of her life, but she will get through this later on in life and she won't be a victum. We take what life gives us and learn and make ourselves better because of it. If I have to push her more than my two who have a father, I'll do that to make her strong and not let this situation that her father and I put her into.

Lets hope there is a "special place" designed for OW.......some day. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">`~``baba2, there is a special place designed for me some day when this life is done....I hope I see you UP there with me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LynnG:
<strong> Oh my lord. The ow in our lives did quite a few of those "gimme gimmies" We laughed at her too. She too was all upset cause we were going on vacations (DW was one) and she too expected the oc to get the amount it would have cost to bring him???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> How it was so unfair and all the typical ow garbage. Of course she was swatted with a big rolled up newspaper too!! BY A JUDGE, who did just what your laywer said. She has leins against her house for being such a dunce.

She also thought that since we are able to buy our children cars, that we should buy oc one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Over the years she has wanted bikes, private school, money for an addition to her house, a car for her to "drive oc in". She really made us laugh. What a pathetic deluded person.

I don't think ow realized that their child IS NOT PART OF THIS FAMILY. He never will be considered as one either. PERIOD. Our financial obligation to him will be done in less then a year and we are taking a trip to Belize to celebrate the end of it all.

I too laugh at the audacity of these women. The way they blame the MM, and his wife for THEIR OWN CHOICE is hysterical. But, then when you read how truly selfish they are, how totally irrational they are, it makes sense. Can't get rationality from an irrational person.

Forget about ow and her hysterics. She isn't worth it. Let her live in the mudd she created.

Hope DW was fun. I love DW. Isn't it awesome? So relaxing I think. I love all the hokeyness, commercial aspect of it. Miles and miles of a huge playground!! I love it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lynn I actually agree with SOME of what you are saying. NOT all, but some. Although I don't agree with how things may have came about in your situation which honestly is really none of my business........and I've expressed my feelings to you which again was none of my business. I have to say that NOT all ow are as yours. NOt all bw are like mine. Not all xmm are like mine or your husband. I remember when gwennie first mention what the ow did when she found out about her trip. I think it was totally unfair. If her h is doing what he legally has to in a fair way then it's none of her business where they go and what they do. As well she mentioned that they gave up a lot of time with there kids working to save up for the trip........even if they did not have to do that it still is none of her business that they go on trips. As long as he's doing what he has to do by law that is all that matters. Xmm's kids are in private school. I have no desire to put my kids in private school. He lives in a bad school district....I live in a one of the best school districts. I did considered it for there first K year just because it would be easier for "ME" with me working, but as you know I have twins. I wanted them together for K, but know when they go in first grade I have to put them in seperate classes for there own good. If I would have made my life easier I would have been making there worse by moving them to a public school not knowing anyone and making the trastition harder for them. So I put them in public and I glad I did it. They are making there own friends and next year will be easier for them being seperated. Okay I was trying to prove a point, and went off on my mothering thing, but I don't agree with what you said about letting the ow live in the mudd she lived in. She and mm helped created that mudd puddle. As far as ow being selfish.......don't you think that WE ALL are selfish? Otherwise everyone would have made a bunch of different choices in our lives including the affair to begin with. I understand that the bw had no choices in the matter really I do. But if you really look at it you see the ow as being selfish cause she ask for cs to begin with from a man whom was married and did not want a child, but clearly was apart of it........and then well we all know what normally happens to all the children involved in the senerio. I don't expect xmm to provide anything that the law does not expect him too. I do however believe it's MY DAUGHTERS right not mine. She has the right to have a fathers name on her birth cirt., regardless if that man loves her or not. She has the right to one day choose if she wants to meet him (after she turns 18). Hopefully unless it's mutual she will leave well enough alone and not be hurt cause it will just hurt her. Just as YOU only want what's best for your children, that is all I want for mine. I love them with all my heart and will fight to my death for them. Just as I know any mother here would.

Bottom line is this: It may take two to conceive a child, but it is only the female who carries and can give birth to a child. In my mind, that makes the woman ultimately responsible for any children being brought into this world (unless it was a rape situation). That decision/choice naturally comes with consequences for a whole lot of people when an affair is involved. It seems very unfair to me that so many have to pay such consequences for her decision. Was my WS partly to be blame for an OC? Of course. No doubt about that! But, a male can never conceive and give birth to a child. That leaves all the choices and potential consequences up to one woman. Yes birth control can fail, but I don't think that happens the majority of times. Yes my WS should have used a condom (for many reasons), but he is not the one who can get pregnant.

I do believe in abortion, as does my WS. So why can't my WS have a say in that choice when he is a part of the child's conception? If I were a male and my wife had an affair, which led to the birth of an OC,I would be the legal father of that child and have rights. As a wife of a WS, I have no such rights to an OC.

And FYI: I have met the OC and spent time with him. He has Down Syndrome. He is a real sweetie! I fell in love with him the moment I took him into my arms and gave him a bottle! I have been willing to take him into my life. He is totally innocent. I would want to have a cooperative, not adversarial relationship with his mother, for his sake. At the same time, I resent the OW having such power in the situation. I resent having to pay child support for a child that I had no say in, in terms of his being born. Especially when our little guy is a special needs child who may require some type of life long care. Does he deserve the support now that he's here? He most certainly does! Both financial and emotional. But if I had a choice...an OC wouldn't be here. I recognize that many on this site don't agree with abortion. But I do. I wish more of them, my WS included, didn't "Believe in adultry". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ November 09, 2004, 01:21 AM: Message edited by: heartfailure ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LynnG:
<strong> They come here to stab people in the back. They are very angry women, who are livid at the world and see themselves as victims <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> They see themselves as totally innocent and that they have done no wrong.

JM: Will you PLEASE stop generalizing? I'm notlike that. I don't see myself as a victim - and I am FAR from innocent in all this. You just try and give this broad general idea of what the nasty old OW is like and it's WRONG. Like Mary said - I'm not YOUR OW, you're not "my" BW. And as Mary said also - I agree with SOME of what you say - I don't look at what xMM has done, has, etc. and then want the same for my child. I don't CARE what he has or does. I hope they have a lovely life and go on trips. I take my son on trips with money that I have earned. And I've probably been on more than him and his family. It's a lot less expensive for 2 than it is for 5.

They can't understand what real love is. They don't grasp the real meaning behind forgiveness.

JM: Who is THEY? Is this the same THEY that I heard about growing up? Because I'm not sure who your "they" is Lynn. And I understand what real love is - he's sleeping upstairs. and I soooooooo grasp the meaning behind forgiveness. I think moreso than you ever will.

I think their "oc is all that matters" is good for BW to read about.

JM: Again with they (or their) in this case. Show me an example of where an OW/xOW has said "OC is all that matters"?


If we BW were to tell our stories, another younger BW would think "they got to be kidding"

JM: Maybe it would help to stop someone from having an affair. That's what I hope to do at "our" site. If I can stop just one person from doing what I did - then I've helped. If I can help more - then great. Not sure if you've ever seen my responses to OW that come there asking if they should get pg with MM. I tell them to get their heads examined.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lynn, you throw ALL OW into a nasty bowl, and that's not right. Or fair.

Not everyone is like your OW, or Gweenie's. And I happen to agree with the judge - she shouldn't get what her kids have. She should get CS, and that is it - anything above or beyond shouldn't be expected.

My OW wasn't so bad in the beginning because she too was trying to work on her marriage. But in the end they D, rumor has it that she had another A on him and that was the final straw for her H. I think it pisses her off that we got back together and are very happy together when her M ended. It is since then that she has become a problem.

Justus,
I'm not asking for an explaination of editing and deleting posts. You have a job to do and I'm not questioning your ability to do it. I personally don't agree with censorship but know that it is needed sometimes to protect people. I think it should be a matter of choice. Read a nasty post or don't, the choice is yours to make. But edit/delete a post and the choice is taken away from that person. So I didn't mean to offend you if I did.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel for you BS's having to deal with the OW in real life "at all" due to them plopping out your husband's children and you being involved with the children.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My apologies if I misinterpert this statement baba2, but IMO, that in itself is a "blanket statement". I CHOOSE these children. I CHOOSE for them to be in my life.....if I felt I "had to deal with them" it wouldn't have been very much of a choice would it?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> But I also want to know why idiots from the TOW board keep coming over here like "dirty flies" to try and torture you all.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not all do. Some very kind OW choose to temper their responses with well thought out opinions...however, when there are those that cannot or will not remember how ADULTS are supposed to behave on a regular basis (and here, I must interject that we ALL have lapses in judgement and sometimes our panties get a bit twisted), but the ones that consistantly spew venom are exactly the reason I've taken haven on GQII....they may not understand me totally there, but their thoughts and advice are nearly always tempered with concern rather than poison.

Personally, I've had enough poison spewed my way to keep ES (evil stepmothers) in business foever.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> They are very angry women, who are livid at the world and see themselves as victims They see themselves as totally innocent and that they have done no wrong.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes they are angry...I've found that most of their anger stems from not being able to look at the macroscope of their actions and reactions. Would that ALL humans pause for a full minute to gather their thoughts and temper their tongues before writing or speaking and our entire world would be a better place for it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> In fact, OW may be selfishly using the poor innocent OC as a pawn for her own sick purposes.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My dwh is JUST now seeing that. OW got pg TWICE thinking each time it'd get me out of the picture. Now that didn't work, my darlings (OC) are being neglected. Do any of you KNOW the payment he is having to make because of is mis-placed lust and trust? I don't...I cannot even imagine. This is quite possibly the saddest and most tragic epic ever...and it's not even a fairy tale or story book....it just goes on and on and on till dwh or whomever the handsome prince is (eyeroll) digs his head out of his [censored] and does right by ALL.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Lynn, you throw ALL OW into a nasty bowl, and that's not right. Or fair.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And I must say this is ever so TRUE (not the Lynn part - Lynn's had more than a few kind words for OW - she's just got her fingers burnt one too many times not to be EXTREMELY careful when dealing with OW). I've met an OW (she didn't have a baby), and she is the kindest, most compassionate person I've ever had the honor of meeting. She loathes the pain that her actions caused. She almost immediately believes herself not worthy of friendship because of her PAST....and I love her more for it because it's made her the most awesome kind person ever. I pray daily that she will know that she is worthy inspite of her mistakes.

I pray daily that there are OW out there that will realize their worth inspite of their mistakes.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Not everyone is like your OW, or Gweenie's. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mine is, unfortunately. She really is a loathesome person...but maybe someday she'll grow up and not be anymore. I won't hold my breath, but I'll rejoice for the kids and my family if she does.

Apologies if I threadjacked.

- Kimmy

kimmy~

Regarding your post yesterday, and this one today too...
You never cease to WOW me.

I swear, you and my DH will be neighbors in heaven. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

~ad

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gwenieinabottle:
<strong> Joshmom,
Ok I assumed
I just have a hard time believing that the story told to the OC (most OC) aren't sugar coated to make the OW look like a Saint. Just like the A is sugarcoated to a BW to make the MM not look as bad. I think its part of nature to do that. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i have a thought on this comment. If anything is "sugarcoated" to an OC, ( or oven the BC) it is to PROTECT the children...NOT to make the OW or the MM look better or worsr than each other. IMHO it is completely inppropriate to put a child in a place where they must feel they have to "choose sides" or are pressured to "hate" their own biological parent .

My oc is to young for me to have to deal with this as of yet, but my oldest son ( remebr my husband abandoned us...LITERALLY DISSAPEARED AND HAS NOT BEEN FOUND IN ALMOST 17 years)

I am not going to tell my son, " You're Dad is not in your life because he is a scumbag who is selfish and doesnt give a **** about you or I" How do you think that would make my son feel about himself? I have NEVER said a BAD word to my son about his father, I just explained that we were really young, and things didnt work out so now I have you all to myself :-).

If you comment negatively about an absent parent to a child, it affects the child's sense of self in a negative way as well.

This is just my opinion but I assume most parents who are single or divorced or what have you would agree with me.


Now I MAY vent on the boards and to my close friends inprivate about how i feel about the fathers of my children, but that is not an appropriate conversation to have with a child. They dont need all the gory details. Just as I dont think that the BC need to know EVERY sordid detail about Dad's affair... " Well you DAD is a cheating [censored] and got some whore pregnant" would not be a very healthy way to explain the A to the children...


but hey... that's just my opinion.I may have to edit it cause I may not make ssense after I reread this.. I am sooo sleepy this morning....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The OW may think having the child will insure that the other woman's husband, who she had sex with, will stick with her.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In some situations, the MM thinks that by getting the OW/MOW pregnant that she will want to stay with him.

Xmm in my situation thought that when I got pregnant that I would leave my H to be with him.
I didn't and he got irate.

As for the OW just wanting the $$ from Xmm, Xmm gave me $$ on occasion to help out with the kids. When I went NC with him he thought I would come running back to him for $$. I think is surprised that I haven't, for years he said he had me in his pocket <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> And the fact that he decieded to remarry his W after I went NC. He seems to think that I'm being a doormat for my H, guess for some it is hard to believe that the MOW would actually want to work on her marriage and keep her family intact

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">guess for some it is hard to believe that the MOW would actually want to work on her marriage and keep her family intact
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't find that so hard to believe CM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I agree with AustumnDay. NG ranks up there as one of the people on here I'd most want to meet in person. She reminds me of a friend I haven't seen in a while. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />