Morning:

WH has an appointment to see an attorney tomorrow about custoday/visitation etc. OC was coming to our home while OW was at work. I don't know what she thought was happening here, but this is our house and I've been taking care of OC too while he was here too. She got her twit in a fix when my WH took car seat and diaper bag out to her car and left OC in the house with just me and said OC won't be coming to our house again, so she's now leaving him with a babysitter (another story in itself).

OW is a nut case obviously. Did she really think that while OC is here, I'm not in anyway involved with him. How silly. Anyway thank goodness that behavior prompted WH to call to an attorney to get things set up through the legal system.

I've copied off samples of some parenting plans from a couple of states but want to make sure we're covering everything and asking right questions. How do you know if you're working with right attorney and he's not just taking case for $$$? Is anyone willing to share their parenting plans or tips on custody/visitation etc.?

WH plans on asking for shared custody. Any advice appreciated.

not much advice, but why does it seem that the Ow seems to think the BW can't actually love and care for the Oc?

INS, I dont know what state you are in, but if you like I can send you a copy of mine. My email is mbsunnyd@yahoo.com. All states are different and you want to find an attorney dealing alot w/ custody and fathers rights.
Look here: Fathers Rights
Also your phone book or the internet. Keep your records and you need not have any contact w/ the OW! I mean she can take what ever you say to her and turn it around. Ok now when you had the baby was there anyone else there w/ you? Like your kids, H or what ever? You really dont need to be alone w/ the OC. She is a sick puppy and could make ou anything. Moms get crazy when you start talking about their children or they think they could loose them. Never thinking to straighten their no account butts up. Custody I would only do in a case where the child is not being cared for at all. Not just because she doesn't do like you do or ya'll would do, KWIM? This is a VERY messy thing to get into. But if the child is in danger or not being cared for then YES go for it with all you got! Also talk to the attorney, you know they work for YOU! Make sure he doesn't persue this as a D situation. IT IS NOT. But by all means keep your nose clean! Cause you dig into her, she is going to dig back! Let me know if you want a copy of ours and good luck I am praying for you!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi INS,

You have to let the attorney know exactly what you want and how much money you can spend, many things you can do yourself and only need to have the attorney file the paperwork for you. This can save tons of money, but you have to know the laws in your state an dsome even differ by county. YOu have to go by the laws in the state and county oc lives in.

You have a good start with the parenting plan. Many states prefer joint custody with mom having primary/physical custody. That means both parents get to make decisions about the child such as schooling, religion, and daycare. The child resides with the parent who has PHYSICAL custody and the other parent has very liberal visitation. Shared custody means that the child spends an equal amount of time in both houses and basically has two residences. In our state these agreements are only awarded in court when both parents ask for the same agreement. (basically, the judge just signs off on it)There aren't many situations where either parent can deny visitation though and many family courts don't approve of one parent attempting to keep the child from the other without a very good reason and unless you are abusive to oc, she can't use you. You still need to be careful though. The smallest thing can be used against you, she may even out right lie.ex: I have 3 children with my 1st h. He cancelled their dental ins. without telling me and I was still using the card. I got stuck with the bill. It took me a year to pay it off. He used the fact that the kids didn't have their teeth cleaned in a year to try to prove neglect.

I'd try mediation and if your h an dow can agree on a sound parenting plan, they will both look better to the judge and prevent an all out custody war. It cost me $12,000.00 to retain custody of my children.

Thanks for the replies. I've e-mailed you Sunny D. As for custody. WH (with my support) is seriously considering shared custody. OW needs to be "watched" for lack of a better term and needs oversight. She is showing that she doens't have best interest of OC right now and certainly hasn't shown she is good parenting material to her 11 year old son who has seen way too much in his short life. OW is seeing that WH is not leaving his BS and family and it isn't setting well with her. I think when my WH told her he was going to care for OC at our home that she would play the good mother role in hopes that she could get closer to taking over my house. Whatever her reason, she's not making good decisions for OC.

OW hasn't taken OC back to the Dr. since he was born and we found out last Friday that she didn't take him back in for his mandatory PKU testing. IMO - negligence - what do you think? Long story, but my idiot WH thought that being nice was going to help when it came to visitation, child support etc, so he gave her $700 to pay hospital bills. Again - long story short - no hospital or Dr. bill has been paid. OW tore the CS check I sent her up and sent it back to our address with my name on it.
and so it goes - on and on. It's tiring having to deal with this. Why can't all involved grow up and act like adults. OW is darned near 38. I guess some never grow up though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

inanustshell: I hope you kept that torn up check and envelope. Take it to your attorney visit. Anything at all take to your attorney. As far as the baby not going to the ped., and having all her shots and the PKU????? Whats up with that? Is it to late to have it done now? It's a VERY important test. The shots are very important too. ( I know some don't believe in them, but IMHO they are very important). If your husband gave her money for bills and she did not pay them then have the bills sent to your house and set it up that your husband is responsible with her paying 1/2 to you. Xmm's wife pays all there bills and one month I get a bill pay through the internet, the next I get temporary checks (from an older account) and then next month I'll get something else. It's all games but hey as long as they clear I don't care. Heck George Bush could write the checks and as long as they clear I DON'T CARE. She is taking away from her child by doing that. What did she think it would hurt you or your husband? Save everything and document everything. Unless your a looney she can't stop you from seeing her. Dang if someone offered to watch my baby for free even one day a week I'd be for ever greatful. Daycare is my 2nd highest expense a month.