I just wanted to introduce myself b4 I started making comments or postings in response to other topics. I am an xOW who is currently pregnant and due in a few months. I have no contact w/xMM and my H believes that he is the father. I miss xMM, but I know that contact would be hard for the both of us right now. This pregnancy was not planned, but abortion was not an option for me. I intend to come clean with my H once I deliver. I do not plan to continue in my marriage. I am seeking advice and support. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<small>[ November 18, 2004, 08:00 PM: Message edited by: MissD ]</small>

I do not plan to continue in my marriage. I am seeking advice and support. Sorry to be so blunt but have you noticed the name of this website?? MARRIAGE BUILDERS!!!! If you don't plan to continue your marriage go find a divorce builders website.

This website provides support for those who plan/hope to continue in their marriage.

If you plan to end your marriage, and you are an unremorseful ow, you really should go elsewhere. This website will not provide support for you.

MissD,

Why do you NOT plan to continue the marriage? Is it because you assume your H will not accept what you have done? Is it you feel so ashamed of what you have done? Why is ending your marriage the only option you are willing to entertain?

I presume you are not telling your H about the child and the affair so that he will pay for the hospital expenses that you incure. I am just curious about your thinking and what is motivating your thinking.

JL

Ladies (I assume that the replies came from ladies),
I apologize for imposing on your board. I was under the impression that I did not have to fall under a certain category to post here; other than the facts that I am M and expecting a child that does not belong to my H. However, you don’t have to worry about me coming back as this is obviously not the place for me.

JL
I am also a BS/xOW and an abused W; those are the main reasons why I have decided not to continue my M. I am ashamed of my actions, but I refuse to beat myself up for the rest of my life. I am also quite capable of maintaining my own medically incurred expenses; and while it is helpful to have my H’s income, it is certainly not a necessity. My H would never accept MM's child.

I guess the main reason I came here is b/c I have decided to make some major changes in my life, and I wanted to discuss my situation with other women. While, I am pregnant w/ a MM's child, I will not blame my child or continue to blame myself for his conception. I have no contact w/ him (xMM) and doubt that I will have any future contact w/ him. It happened and abortion is not an option.

MD, How do you know your H wont except this child? How do you know its not his? Do you plan on getting a D and let your H pay for this child or do you plan on telling the XMM family? I dont think anyone can say someone doesn't belong here. Because it may be in the back of your mind on the "what if's". And it may be your H and you just dont know and thats why your not saying anything? I think you have alot of soul searching to do. People can and do change, some never learn and keep hurting themselves. First thing you need to do is give your H more credit than what you are giving him. Be honest w/ him and yourself. You have lead a life of distructive behaviour and you need to fix that. I would like to have you read some of the material here before you just give up on a M that you one time longed to have! There is a reason you are here and may as well learn something along the way! Please look at:
The policy of radical honesty

And I also think this material here will help you in the changes you are wanting to make.
www.anglefire.com it talks about the different kinds of abusive behavior.

I will tell you that yes this is a marriage building site and we do encourage you to work on your M. But I will also tell you that alot of people here have had their lives turned upside down by people like you that have such distructive behavior tendencys. But in my mind God brought you here for a reason and it may just be for you to be able to make your changes in your life that you want to make. It may just be to save your M. I dont know.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D