Hello all!
I have seen the various CS threads and they have been very helpful!! CS court date is my next hurtle. No date set yet, but it will be soon. OW was very upset about receiving papers for CS and says she is going to fight him. I don't know what about, he is already paying what appears to be the maximum and great health insurance without the court ordering him to do it. We have had N/C for 3 months now.....only contact through attorney.
My questions is for those who have experienced Texas CS system. What is next?? My H thinks they go to mediation first, but he is not sure. Our attorney seems vague to me, but maybe H doesn't ask the questions I want.

What could she ask for and get besides the CS, health insurance and a life insurance policy? I know each state is different, but the attorney thinks this will be all.

What about if my H dies? Is his estate (me) still respondsible for CS? What about the money he has already given? I have read that here that it might be considered a gift?

I know that attorney should be able to answer these questions, but I don't know when he may respond and I am worried.

Hi,

I don't knwo about TX CS, but want you to be patient someone will come along to help you soon. Why don't you go to your local library website and maybe pull up all you can on your state's CS laws. this should give you some good insight.

Please don't leave everything up to your lawyer know for yourself, remember that they are really a high priced mouth piece. so let what is coming out of his/her mouth be what you want it to be not what they think it should be. You are paying the lawyer not the other way around.

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

What could she ask for and get besides the CS, health insurance and a life insurance policy? I know each state is different, but the attorney thinks this will be all.

Hi Lbelle I live in Texas and get child support that was set up here in TX. I can't answer your questions really because we settled out of court. When I first filed, I got a paper that if we wished we could go to a meeting together with a child support case worker and settle it there or we could go to court. We went to the meeting and it was pretty quick and easy. The only thing the case worker mentioned was the financial amount, visitation, and health insurance. I don't think there's anything else. I am not sure though, this was only my experience, but I don't think it's any different whether it's abiological child, adopted child, or OC.

Thanks XAngel. I am hoping it is that simple. I just keep running through worst case scenarios in my head.

My H seems to be firmly united with me as a team and all decisions are together. I can say that now....although it has taken 9 months to get there. That is why I say "seems" to be united. It is still a good feeling and I want to keep it...not the nasty feeling that comes from thinking about worst cases.

My questions is for those who have experienced Texas CS system. What is next?? My H thinks they go to mediation first, but he is not sure. Our attorney seems vague to me, but maybe H doesn't ask the questions I want.

Many Texas sites do offer mediation if both parties are agreeable. Sometimes lawyers don't like to push for mediation because often they aren't allowed to be present. Mediation is more to give the parents involved an opportunity to work out the issues without the interference of others in a NEUTRAL territory. So lawyers, who of course aren't very neutral, most of the time lose out on $$$$ if this is done.

What could she ask for and get besides the CS, health insurance and a life insurance policy? I know each state is different, but the attorney thinks this will be all.

CS and health insurance is part of Texas' standard agreements. Life insurance is an added incentive and other things can also be asked for. However, if your H disagrees, then she would have to prove why what she is asking for is necessary.

For instance with one son, I have it added where my ex is responsible for a certain amount of money for summer programs. For the other son, I have it where his father could be responsible for more of the medical coverage if I should happen to lose any of my income due to our son's severe allergies and asthma. This son has frequent flare ups in the winter and I often have to take off several days at a time. Because he chooses NC and doesn't help in these critical times, his medical coverage for co-pays and office and ER visits go up from 50% to 100%. Also health coverage is usually reserved for just medical insurance so I had it added that in our case it also covers dental and vision coverage as well.

So again, it just depends on how creative she (or her lawyer) might be on what they are asking for. Maybe a percentage of child care costs, a college fund established, etc....

And you are right about asking the RIGHT questions to your lawyer. That becomes so important simply because they often don't bring up issues that haven't been specifically addressed yet.

And take a look at the Family Codes your ownself. The more you know, the more informed you are, the better advocate you become for your cause.

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm

Thanks for the input StormyWeather. Very orderly and logical response. Love that stuff! I have read much of the code, but some of it I'm not sure what they mean and I know that sometimes it can mean a variety of things. Like you said, depending on how creative the attorney.

Did you go back to court later to request those medical/income issues? You didn't know about the allery/asthma stuff as an infant.

Did you go back to court later to request those medical/income issues? You didn't know about the allery/asthma stuff as an infant.

With the middle son, the father and I had a great friendship and we both decided that it wasn't necessary to get all the legal "stuff" done through the court just yet. Instead, I typed out a simple agreement stating the amount we had agreed upon for child support and his responsiblity to provide medical and dental coverage. We had this notarized and it was all great for at least a year. Then he got a new girlfriend, started missing payments, etc..

Meanwhile, it was almost a given that our son would have asthma and allergies. His dad's entire family suffers from various degrees with most on the severe side. He even had a few close relatives die from asthma attacks. Our son started to exhibit his symptoms by 7 months and it quickly became apparent he was falling on the "severe" side of the family.

When my expressed some concerns about our agreement, I did offer mediation through our county and he refused to show up for 2 appointments. He then decided to completely stop paying any CS a day after I told him I had gotten laid off from my job of 3 1/2 years.

What helped me to get a lot of stipulations added to my agreement is that the judge was upset with my exs actions especially how he cut off all payments and medical copays to me after I lost my job. I had a thick notebook documenting how great he had been in helping me with everything and then did a 180 change.

Because of him choosing NC after getting the new girlfriend, I lost alot of time from work staying home with son to administer nebulizer treatments. Almost lost my job because of all the time off even with FMLA supposingly protecting it. (Boss just couldn't believe that all that time I was off was for my son's condition. A year later, his own newborn son had the same issues and I then got an apology.)

So thus the reason I added the medical stipulation for his increased medical reimbursement if I lose income due to our son's illness.

And I did, and still do, all my own representation in court. At first it was because I couldn't afford one. Now, its more because I know how to manage the system so I figure it would be a waste of money to have someone just present my own arguments when I'm standing right there.

I live in TX my H is responsible for cs, back cs, half of all pregnancy bills, even though he had paternity test when baby was nine months, still responsible for pregnancy bills. He has to provide insurance, pay for half of all medical bills, and yes his estate will be responsible for cs if he dies, it does not stop. All of this was set up through the courts. If he loses his job he still must pay out of pocket for oc insurance so, os is not without insurance, and if I wanted a divorce I have three children I could only receive a fraction of his income up to a certain max amt, she would still get her portion first even though I have three and she has one. sound fair?
Yelo

He has to provide insurance, pay for half of all medical bills, and yes his estate will be responsible for cs if he dies, it does not stop.

So then his estate must pay child support PLUS the child will be eligible for Social Security benefits? Or will the estate only pay for any difference that the Social Security benefits don't pay?

I think adding estate issues on top of it all is really complicated. I think most think about just taking out an insurance policy with the child as the beneficiary for the same purpose.

<small>[ December 07, 2004, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Stormyweather ]</small>

here is the link to the Texas Family Code

Read it carefully...everything you need to know is in there..I went over this with my lawyer present...it is all in there!

Thanks for all the input. My H paid for ALL pregnancy bills and many other bills, but I didn't know that until a few weeks ago. So now WE have to pay for this $20,0000 bill in addition to all the other support issues. She didn't pay for half of anything and she felt entitled. That made my H feel taken advantage of and he didn't like it.

My H did talk to the attorney today. I had told him of the various issues I wanted to know about and the examples you have all provided. It turns out she hired an expensive attorney. Based on the response our attorney received he thinks they told her she is probably getting a pretty good deal and should take what is already offered and has been paid.

He did agree with you Stormyweather, that the insurance policy should be considered in leiu of the estate continuing to pay CS. If she rejects this, my H will cancel the policy. It's a good policy....she should take it.

I feel better about the whole CS thing now. Not that I am happy about it, but that I am better prepared for any potential surprises. I agree will all of you that have said this.....Knowledge is power. I don't feel powerless if I know what our rights are and to be pro-active.

LaBelle,
If you are going through the AG's office, they push for mediation. But you do have the option of having the judge decide. You are probably going to go to a Master Judge first. If you do not like the ruling, you CAN and SHOULD appeal. Remember...you only have 3 days to file an appeal. Then it will go to a Family judge. DO NOT go unless you have an attorney to represent you. It can be very confusing with all the legal jargon.
Unfortunately, any payments like child support or medical expenses, in Texas are considered "gifts", until paternity and a court order have been issued. But make sure you have receipts for the judge. He or she may take it into account. My H didn't have to pay any back child support because of our efforts to send gift certificates and such before orders were finalized.
Hopefully this has helped.

take care,
ent

Bump this up for Calismile and Down and out.