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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Pregnancy/Child FORGIVING-(opinions needed)

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FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838205 12/08/04 02:57 PM
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 275 A angels1966 Member
angels1966 Member A Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 275	MY faith in God and marriage have grown sooo much! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I have actually gotten to the point where I can forgive Xow, and I don't hate her anymore. Allthough I will never trust her for ovious reasons. I have reached a point in my life where I need to tell her these things, I need to do this for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My question is should I do it by email or phone? I was thinking Email as I really have no desire to continue a converstion after that.

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838206 12/08/04 03:22 PM
Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 148 X XangelX Member
XangelX Member X Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 148	Personally, I think you should just let sleeping dogs sleep. No need to wake up old ghosts, if the affair is in the past, then leave it back there. In your heart and in God's eyes you have forgiven her, that's all that matters. She doesn't need to know. She probably won't even care. I think when they say NC that means by the BS as well.

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838207 12/08/04 04:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 8,344 D Dealan-de Member
Dealan-de Member D Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 8,344	I'm with AngelX on that one. I really don't think bringing it to light again will do anything but foster bad feelings. If you must tell her, I'd create a junk email account, email it from there and then close the account. - Kimmy

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838208 12/08/04 04:50 PM
Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,028 S sunnydale Member
sunnydale Member S Joined: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,028	I wouldn't make the call or email. IF she calls you you will have your chance. K . The junk email address can be traced back to you and that could be considered harrassment. So let it alone, you in your heart are healing, God knows that and thats all that matters. But I think you will get your chance to tell her like I did! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838209 12/08/04 06:22 PM
Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 262 C CheerfulLittleOne Member
CheerfulLittleOne Member C Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 262	Angels, I know your intentions are good, but your H's xOW might not take your letter seriously- she may even respond with something that will upset you. If you need to get it out, just write it all down but don't send it.

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838210 12/09/04 08:53 AM
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 908 N needtomoveon Member
needtomoveon Member N Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 908	angels I agree with the rest. Plus you don't know where her head is at mentally and you could open the door for your feelings to get hurt. God knows and that is all that matters. If by some chance one day you have the chance and it's meant to be, the chance will come up for you.

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838211 12/09/04 07:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 275 A angels1966 Member
angels1966 Member A Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 275	Thank you , all of you. I've prayed on it and thought on it some more. And I agree w/ all of you and Sunny I think your right I will eventually get my chance tp tell her. Thanks again all of you!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838212 12/09/04 09:42 PM
Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 327 P papermom Member
papermom Member P Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 327	angels, have you considered writing the letter but not delivering it? The healing is for yourself, in which case you could write it and have a little ceremony with yourself. You could cut it into pieces and bury it, you could burn it. . . you get the idea. Just an idea. PM

Re: FORGIVING-(opinions needed) #838213 12/09/04 09:51 PM
Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 316 I inanutshell Member
inanutshell Member I Joined: Jul 2004 Posts: 316	I think PM is right on track. Don't waste your breath otherwise. Forgiveness is for yourself, not for the OW.

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