Cheerful,

I have to agree with the others. This is a MARRIAGE support board not a OW support board. If you want to do what you do, fine but go do it someplace else.

You may see nothing wrong with what you do but I do recall in high school names for girls like you. I don't want to say more becuase it would probably be way out of line.

Yes, your actions are much like my 5 and 6 year olds. Heck, they have more commen sense and respect for their friends and others than you do.

Also, you are taking a gamble to think that your sweet children won't realize what a horrid mother they have and turn their back on you. Just like you turned your back on the BS in your family. If you don't see it, you did do just that. Never, know your kids act may be more overt where they never talk to you, never let you see your grandchildren. Think about the damage you may be doing to yourself later in life.

Also, people who continue to take what they want find that life will eventually bite them in the hind end. As I said in the above, you may loose the respect and love of your children. I can think of a few cases off the top of my head that hit the papers. Scott Peterson, Chanda Levy for example. They both took what they want and both paid the price.

Yes, please take what you want in life and if the mortal world does not get you I am sure the after life will. In the end, we will all pay for our sins. Yes, what you are doing is a sin, even if you are not the married one. As you so often point out. Remember Cheerful it does not matter what we think or even what you think but what does matter is what our Lord thinks. If he does not take you with him there is another little man that has a HOT place where your can rest peacfully for all eternity. He just LOVES people like you.

Why bother? Eh. I dunno. Because I find such immoral and blatently selfish attitudes repulsive, and my basic graciousness and tendency to find good in people is on a leave of absence today...so I let fly and didn't mince words about it.

Lol Dealn-de, mine is on an extended holiday, come to think about it, it might have gotten lost on the way back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by sunnydale:
You are a sad person, hope you find your way</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Amen.

I've "seen" her.
In the emergency room with bruses from an assault by an angry lover.
In the urgent care getting tested, again, for STDs.
In the clinic bleeding after her 4th abortion.
In the clinic getting antibiotics for her disease.

Sad lifeless eyes.

Ever vigilent.

Never trusting.

Looking, looking, looking for peace that never comes.

Making her way through her life with clenched fists.

Pretending to be someone she is not.

Pretending to be a tough girl that no one can hurt because no one can touch her in her soft vulnerable places.

Obsessed with her exterior looks because her inner beauty has been self-denied.

Hating the men she takes to bed with her.

Hating the women who have found true love.

Never expecting that anyone could ever want her unless she takes them into her bed.

Using her sex as a weapon.

Looking for a safe place knowing that she herself is not a safe place for others.

sad
sad
sad
sad


I pray for her.

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> as an adult I have not saught out the means in which to obtain the view point that you all have. Lead me there and I will read. I've just never experienced a true, happy, honest, trustworthy, respectful marriage- I do not have faith that it exists.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You ARE reading them...look at all these people on this board trying to get advice to try to save their marriages!

It is people like YOU with YOUR attitude that break up a happy marriage. What gives YOU the right to "date" a married man even if he says he is kicked out and getting a divorce! You let that MM FINISH his marriage FIRST before going after him...so what if the MM is "unhappily" married...that is HIS view...what about the view of the wife and the kids? Why cant you say to the married man "look, your nice, and cute, but also MARRIED..you finish your relationship first with your WIFE and then we can talk"...too easy huh? If my WH's OW had only said these words to him, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess right now as all the other people on this board...I just dotn get how somone can do this to a family! I pray to God my children dont grow up like you did. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

LOL PEPPERBAND!!!!!


I don't know what dream world you're living in, but you've got me confused with someone else. No one has ever beat me up, I've never had an STD, If I believed in abortions I guess xMM wouldn't be in the predicament he's in today and the only time I've ever been on antibiotics was for a sinus infection. You really have no clue who I am, but it was amusing to read your analogy of my life. Thanks for making me feel great about myself by reminding me how bad it could be, and how great I have it! LOL!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 12, 2004, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: CheerfulLittleOne ]</small>

Momto3boys,

Yeah, Next time I'll be doing that- making sure the relationship ends first.

I've said it before, I was crazy for believing him.

Heck, I think YOU have said that before too, haven't you?

You trusted that your H was home for good, that he was going to end the relationship with HER, right?

He didn't, did he?

See, xMM told me his M was ending- just as your H told you his A was ending.

I waited, just as you are waiting.

You are sitting on the fence just as I was a few years ago, believing what the man you loved told you- waiting for him to make it a reality. You had faith in him, you still do- but he's still involved with HER.

Isn't that so????


Funny how we ALL believe these liars.

Some people are just not worth the effort. CLO is one of those.

I agree with Pep, she is a sad person full of self delusions.

She may be a child of God, so we should just her to his judgement.

We, as mere mortals can't help those who can't see the forrest for the trees.

I was one to post to Cheerful; she and those like her give me a sadness, a sort of pity that is actually helpful in my healing.

But, we can't fool ourselves into thinking our posts will change her way of thinking. Perhaps we gain some comfort by our vicarious vents toward her here. After all, she presents herself here for the "taking" -- not a concept far removed from other life avenues she travels, apparently.
Sounds snide, but I do mean a kindness here, even if my meaning is unclear to Cheerful herself.

Let's also be careful not to make her solely responsible for our WS's and/or FWS's choices. I imagine it's fair to say that not all OP's were lying in wait for our spouses. Our spouses, after all, ARE the ones who pledged faithfulness to us. Cheerful's lifestyle is reprehensible in my eyes, but I think I'll choose to take from her what I can use for my own healing: that is, this:

My H's A choice was prostitution, much to my shame and his. On these boards, I don't find discussion about that, and I certainly can't find any posts to help me to understand much about what he gained from that activity. Nor can I find understanding or empathy for the women he spent time with. I'd like to find that, really, and I'd like to thank Cheerful for giving me at least SOME insight to the "other side".

I also thank Pep for her post here. What a sad life these women must lead, even if their defenses are too strong to allow them to admit it. Reading your post, Pep, resonates to me and allows me to feel some compassion where there has been little.

Cheerful, lest you should infer that I'm calling you a prostitute, don't go there. Don't go there.

PM

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:
<strong> Momto3boys,


You trusted that your H was home for good, that he was going to end the relationship with HER, right?

He didn't, did he?

See, xMM told me his M was ending- just as your H told you his A was ending.

I waited, just as you are waiting.

You are sitting on the fence just as I was a few years ago, believing what the man you loved told you- waiting for him to make it a reality. You had faith in him, you still do- but he's still involved with HER.

Isn't that so????


Funny how we ALL believe these liars. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I dont know why I bother, but here goes...There is a HUGE difference between me and YOU cheerful! I am MARRIED to this man...you WERE NOT married to him...I HAD faith in my H he was telling me truth...You see most WS's male or female, IMHO, are only shells of the people they USED to be...I believe the minute they step over that boundry they become that shell, in return the third party involved gets that shell. The OW/OM makes them the shell of a person...The relationship is based on deciet and lies...

Yes, I believed my H was telling me the truth and NO I do not still have faith in him and I do not believe a word he says...he is pathetic now and I am finally realizing that the OW IS desperate cuz she will take him at any cost, even if it means breaking up our family...

My H tells me each and every day he does not want to leave me...BUT, I have made the decision to leave him...I have told him he needs to go be with that OW...he wont...he doesn't want to...He SAYS he has no intentions of ever calling her again...do I believe him...HELL NO! Yes, I have LET my WH do this to me...It has taken me a loooong time to wake up and see who this man I used to know, has become...He is NOT in any way, shape or form the man I married 12 years ago...

I do know however, OW or NOT, that I will always come first to him...He will leave her to take care of me any day or night. But I dont want him anymore, so for you to assume is wrong...I haven't posted much about my sitch lately...I dont intend to post much...What I would like to do, is help others in MY situation and try to prevent the pain that they are going thru...you will NEVER know the pain of a BS...one day their whole entire world comes crashing down on them...It is worse than getting raped...believe me I KNOW! so dont sit there and pass judgement on any BS here...You dont know me, you haven't ever walked in my shoes, nor do you know my sitch!

Why are you here cheerful? ARe you a BS with an OC? or are you just the OW with the MM child/ren? I think you need to go elsewhere, cuz it is evident that you are here to cause more harm than good...these people are here because they are hurting..hurting because an OW/OM has meddled into their lives. For some reason or another we all want to save our marriages, then we have to run into people like you who are not even remorseful of the pain they have caused another person.

enough on that!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by momto3boys:
<strong>
Why are you here cheerful? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To read. According to Justuss it's okay;

Justuss
Moderator
Member # 20073

"Reading the board to realize the pain upon the BS's discovery is okay.

Posting to inflict more pain is NOT!!!"


I just keep forgetting to abide by the latter.

Hey all, why do you post to CLO? As a good friend of mine once said, there is no point in casting your pearls before the swine. Might as well talk to the wall, eh?

Save your energy for better things, like loving your husband on a cold winter night and sneaking in extra hugs and kisses for your kids, and having a wonderful holiday season! That is my wish for you all, who have been hurt so badly. I wish you peace and love this Christmas season, and healing, always healing.

~ Snow

<small>[ December 12, 2004, 02:43 PM: Message edited by: Snowbelle ]</small>

CheerfulLittleOne,

You neglected to copy and paste the ENTIRE quote. The line you omitted said "StormyWeather" not CheerfulLittleOne.

Just incase you also forgot, my post to you was...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">CheerfulLittleOne,

A reminder once again!

This is a Marriage Support Board !

A "serial OW", that would "probably do it again" (your words) really has nothing to offer in the way of marriage building advice, skills or support.

Perhaps you might search further for a board that supports your lifestyle.

This one clearly does not....

--------------------
Justuss
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Hello All,

Hello CLO! I hope all is well with u & yours. Thanks for your honesty.

Everyone else, why do you allow CLO to get a so-called rise out of you...it is almost like it is done on purpose, but honestly, I just think this is who she is, and she doesn't have a problem with letting anyone know...why should she, look what she has willing put herself thru ( guided by false pretenses...blah, blah, blah...the MM said he would leave his wife, yada, yada, ya....)We all eventually feel the pain of our mistakes...no one should feel that CLO is living a life of glory...remember, we are all dealing with pain as BW's, and believe me, OW is dealing with even more pain, whether she wants to admit it or just put up a front...we all do it to try to save face...how could anybody be happy with this kind of situation without going thru the pain first & all the hard work that comes with trying to fix it. Yeah, we eventually learn to live with it...or not, and we move on.....so CLO has moved on, and maybe placed a big rock over that hole she fell in while she was dealing with the drama of the actual A. She has made a decision to smile instead of frown...no matter how bad her situation is. Take notice. Now all that other garbage about doing it again, etc...is a bunch of crap, and I am sure CLO knows it...I honestly do not believe that she would allow herself to fall back into that painful hole again...so quit feeding into her little games. I am sure she is laughing right now. Its a control thing.

Take care all...just my two cents.

gofigure,

I think it's quite wonderful that you've reached a point in your recovery where you aren't triggered by the things CLO says. Good for you, but maybe it took you some time to reach this point? Expecting the ladies who have just found out about this situation to be in the same place as you are is perhaps a bit insensitive of their pain. This is a marriage support board. Yes, CLO's posts are a "control" effort, but it interferes with the purpose of this board, stirs up even more pain for some of these ladies and her efforts to create discord should not be tolerated. Many OW post here respectfully and share without attempting to disrupt the support here. Statements like "I'm a serial OW and will probably do it again" show such a complete lack of understanding for the harm that affairs do, or her part/responsibility/contribution to that scenario that it's bound to trigger some of the newer posters...as it is designed to do. CLO creates discord by design for the sole purpose of cheerfully creating controversy. I am grateful that our moderator Justuss has stepped in....and I will say nothing to undermine her efforts to help CLO post respectfully here.

Hello Starfish,

Thanks for your response. By no means do I expect anyone to deal with any of these situations easily. I am recovering everyday...but then again, sometimes I feel like I am going in circles....because of comments like CLO's, so that is why I just wanted to try to help someone...anyone, who is dealing with this mess, by telling them to do there best not to sweat the small stuff, because we have enough to deal with as it is. Everyday is a battle.

So, no harm intended. And if you feel the need to let CLo have it...then just give it to her.LOL. Because she is definitely asking for it. LOL.

Take care.

Gofigure,

Thank you for your reply....I never believed you posted except with good intent. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I have no desire to "let her have it"....life has already done that. Unfortunately this situation has built in consequences that are so challenging that I really don't want to add to her pain or anger. Neither do I wish to see her do the same to the ladies here.

Hello Starfish,

I agree!!!!

Take care.