I've been out of town for two months and just got the phone bill. There were a lot of calls to Ow from my H. Now when I am here he doesn't call very often because of work and time difference but according to phone bill he called several times in each week. Grant it it wasn't every week to be honest. Now I have asked him about it and he says he just was checking up on son and that they were friends and he was lonley w/ out me there. Now my question is what the He*l should I do? Do I believe him? I did when I asked him if he was having an affair and he lied. I told him that I wasn't comfortable w/ them being friends they were just friends before they started having an affair and I don't want to allow that to happen again. And if he was feeling lonley does that mean everytime I leave for whatever reason I have to worry about whether H is starting up relationship w/ ow? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Any suggestions?

Why did he not call you? Where you that unavailable? I'm not sure of all your circumstances....but just had that questions for you.

XOW is NOT the place to turn when lonely!!! Bad boundaries! They should not even consider each other "friends" any more!!

Is your H willing to read any recovery books with you and do the book suggestions, or to see a marriage counselor together, or both? If finding one there is a problem, I've heard great things about the phone counseling available here at mb (see Counsel at top of page); well worth the money. After the Affair by Janis Abram Spring does a great job of explaining ways to rebuild trust and why (calling xow casually would not be ok!!).

If your H is not willing to put that kind of effort into your marriage... well, that wouldn't bode well, kwim? He either cares more about fixing the marriage, or he cares more about himself/xow. Since the xow relationship produced a child, it's obviously reasonable to worry!!

Pls. take some action on the marriage's behalf.
All best wishes,
J