Is anyone in the same situation as I? My husband and I had the perfect marriage. We laughed, loved, cried, and hoped for the perfect future together. Last Oct. I lost our first son due to stillbirth and this Nov. (3 weeks ago) I lost our second child due to miscarriage. After the first loss I became depressed and wrapped up in my own emotions not knowing which way to turn except that my husband was the only one who understood me and helped me through every step in my pain. He was always there for me, ALWAYS!! I guess the breakdown began when I wasn't there for him only because he never let me believe he needed me. He had no one to lean on. He found a sounding board in an old friend from when we lived 300 miles away (where she still is) I knew this friendship and trusted it. That was my biggest mistake. He was on a business trip in her area 4 weeks ago and decided to call her to have dinner. They never made it to dinner and now she's pregnant (or so she claims) He wore a condom and he said it might have broke and he pulled out. Sorry TMI. Am I to believe that they had sex on Nov. 14 and that on Dec. 1 she knew she was pregnant with my husbands child? She has a husband and her own family.

My husband is a torn up mess of himself and we are both in therapy now because of it, together and separately. We have decided that our love is stronger than this one indescretion and I know that we will overcome this and learn to deal with it but he seriously messed up big time. I now am dealing with the losses of my two children with no living children and the now possible pregnant ONS my husband had 3 weeks ago.

Is there hope for us? How?

Thanks for listening.

Insist on a paternity test!
Tell hubby not to belive her until paternity has been established,this baby could be her hubby's!
Also insist on NC W/Ow, so you can work on your marriage.

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: angels1966 ]</small>

Angel's right.
Your H should definitely establish paternity first. Especially since OW is married. My H is at the doctor's office right now with OW & OC taking a DNA test today. Once you establish that you & H can workout what your next step will be. I'm going through the same thing right now. I guess I felt like it was such a slap in the face to me because we had been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 years and then he cheats and boom!! here's the child I never gave him. You and your H sound strong & solid. I'm sure you're taking it one day at a time and I wish you much progress.
Stay Strong <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

want,
I'm so sorry for your fresh pain and for the pain of your lost babies. H and I lost a full-term baby and 3 miscarriages, which very much contributed to his affair (resulting in OC). However, that was 6-7y ago and we're fine now.

Ditto what the others said. The XOW's H will be legally PRESUMED the father (and financially liable), unless he contests it. Check out your state's laws on it, and do NOT start any ch-support (assuming an OC is born) without DNA!!

One day at a time, keep working on your marriage. Counseling and recovery books, this site, are all GOOD.

Best wishes,
J

I would take this time and focus on your marriage. Continue conseling and working on making your marriage even better than it was before. I gree with everyone about the patternity test. They are pretty simple to schedule. Is ow saying oc is your husbands? Does her H know about their A? I know this is really a lot for you to deal with and I understand. H had an A resulting in oc. We've been trying to have children and have yet to concieve. Just remember that God never puts more on us than we can bear, so we all must be amazing conquerors!