Hi everyone,

I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas. I just wanted to share what happened and wanted some positive advice. My husband had pneumonia over the 5 days we were off. The OW knew this because they work together. I had 5 days off from work and was very excited! So it started.......wednesday,said she was in labor,false,thursday,said was in labor,false,friday,said was in labor,false! Christmas day we were up at 5 (my H loves presents) We finished about 6:30 when his cell phone started going off. The first message she said that she wanted to REMIND my H that their child was on the way and he needed to start playing the daddy role and get his head on straight. She also said that she was lonely and felt she shouldn't be alone on Christmas. By 8 at night, she had called 14 times on his cell. At 11:30, our HOME phone rang.....it was her. I took the phone and throw it down the hall. I was so angry and upset although I tried ALL day to not let it bother me. So the next day, my H called her and told HER HOW DARE she pull what she pulled. She told him she had to be RUSHED to the hospital at 11:30 on Christmas because she became SO STRESSED she was having some sort of attack because he wasn't answering and felt he wasn't going to be at the delivery...well she doesn't yet know he isn't going to be there......any advice....I feel like my Christmas was ruined and I just want to BEAT her up!?!

any advice? Buy a new phone? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Did you turn off the ringer? turn of his cell? Erase her messages w/o listening to them? How 'bout changing your phone # & keeping it UNlisted.

You can probably turn to legal channels & file harrassment hcarges against her. Anyway, her planned still kinda worked becuase he DID call her back! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Now take a deep breath & I'll tell you what......Christmas can be in your heart....any day of the year!

Go to some after Christmas sales....get some Christmas music CD's (on clearance) Get some cute Christmas lights (again on clearance) & maybe even a tiny little tree.

Take all of it & decorate your bedroom w/ it.
You can even tweek the color scheme to make it festive for New Years. Whatever your beautiful heart desires.

Now call, email, write a note, whatever inviting H to your own private Christmas (or New Years) celebration in your bedroom.

New Years would be nice so that you can feel like you are ringing in the New Year w/ a fresh start! Maybe even exchange a few private words about how much this marraige means to you & each other ect.

Then.......go on to make some fabulous NEW memories! This, of course is an inexpensive way to do it.

If you have a higher budget, I would suggest going away for a weekend, maybe a cozy snowed in cabin or something.

I am not too familiar w/ your story or how far into recovery you & H are so I'm not sure if you are up to something like this........but it just might make you feel a bit better & peaceful.

How pg are you? PG (haha! pregnant not 'rated'! LOL) sex is supposed to be really GREAT. (it was w/ my 2nd!) Not to mention that sex has natural calming abilities & relieves tension & aggression.

Just an idea.

Otherwise.....start filing those harrassment charges. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />


ooo
xxx
sincerely,
kt

thanks kt....she called his cell all day and we kept it on for family. we didn't think she would have called THAT many times. He called the NEXT day to chew her out for ruining Christmas. Plus the OC is due ONE week from today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

One week from today sounds like a VERY nice time to go OUT OF TOWN! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

GO & celebrate your NEW life TOGETHER!!!!!!


ooo
xxx
kt

that would be so wonderful. I am trying to think positive because we find out what we are having in two weeks!!!! She still thinks he is going to the delivery and thinks he is pulling her leg by saying he won't be there.....at her app today, she is 3 cms

How do you know?

Who is having the C here & WHY?

Who cares about her dilation? Give it up!

Don't worry about her. There should NOT be ANY C between you, her and/or H until DNA is proven. Seriously.

No calling to check on baby...which @ this point is really only OW! NO calling to say leave me alone. No calling to see how dr. appt went either. NOTHING!

Yes, go away.....that sounds like a mighty fine idea.

And anyways........a woman can be dilated & not have baby for a looooooooooooong time-----so don't worry about that. MAke sure you turn your ringer off @ night so there will be no unexpected intrusions to your beauty sleep---you know...when OW 'suddenly' has baby....becuase I'm sure it will be @ the most inooportune moment! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> LOL

Get soem rest...............YOU & your BABY will need it in teh months to come. Your baby needs you to be strong & healhty, that includes mentally & emotionally.

Your only concern should be your marriage, you & yoru baby!

OW, her pg & impending baby is NONE of your concern. Believe me, OW is NOT as concerned w/ you & your baby now is she?


kt

Kt,

You are right. Thank you sometimes it just gets hard trying to keep a positive outlook and a strong heart. My baby deserves better and I know that. Thanks!

-Hurt

{{{Hurt5-04}}}

A big hug to you. I am sorry that stupid twit try to ruin your Xmas...

Your H has to get very firm with her. This unexceptable... that you guys will not tolerate this in the future. Its a MUST to get a new phone ##... and have her calls forward a third party. There is no need for any of this. After all you have precious baby that you are carrying; its very important that you take care of yourself.

I can only hope that your H is making his position clear to this lady... that his heart belongs to only you. No mix signals. He's got to get brutally honest with her.

Like ktbunch said... think positive thoughts..and make a romantic Xmas in the bedroom for you and your H. (And for heavan sakes..shut the darn phone off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

wiz

Hurt
I feel your pain, H has a work cell phone and there are no more so he cannot change his number, she called all the time in the beginning, but it has since slowed. He asked her to only call if it was an absolute life or death emergency regarding oc. She continued to call anyway and now when he sees her number he sends it straight to voicemail, she finally go the hint, and very rarely do we hear from her. Like you, I found out about A and oc, then two weeks later I found out I was pg with our third child. It was tough, but for the your sake and the sake of your unborn, take care of yourself, forget oc and ow, like kt said, do you think ow is worried about you, not at all. Congratulations on your baby, try to think happily and focus on your ownself!
Hugs,Yelodazee <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

KT-- I LOVE YOU and WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE KISSIE WITH YOU!!!! You ROCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurt- take her advice- I could NOT put it any better.

But I can add in the following ...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

STOP THE INSANITY!!! WHY WON'T you H tell this woman the TRUTH??? Why the hell doesn't he stand firm that he is working on his marriage, he is NOT going to be at the birth and he is NOT going to fool around with her HARASSMENT any longer? Where the HE** does his loyatly lie!!!!! My H told OW when she started to call against his NC DEMAND... that he was going to file a restraining order if she ever called or came near him or his family again. He said he would find out about the baby when the baby arrived, PERIOD-- and guess what-- she went away because HE was not [censored]-footing around with her..... this is HARASSMENT and your private home and telephone are YOURS! She is only doing this to cause major problems..

DO NOT LET HER HAVE HER WAY... !!! Keep up the best face you can put on for H.... ! This OW is NOT allowed to penetrate your marriage ANYMORE!!!!

She is not one to be reasoned with at this point, anyway-- she is pregnant and about to deliver and she, I believe, will be hell on wheels to deal with, so have H stand firm for your marriage and cut her off until DNA is established.

THEN, take KT's wonderful advice and make H sure to forget all about this drama-- make him some offers he cannot refuse <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ok first I have to laugh at this OW. Ummmm hello........................slept with a MM and got knocked up! I know its bitter of me to say this but sometimes I feel like my OW got off easy and to hear about another OW getting some pay back for her actions makes me feel a little vindicated. Oh the poor OW was alone on Christmas boo hoo! Hello....did your H leave you alone when he was screwing her? Did she care that you were alone?? Did she care that you are hurt in this mess they created??

However, your H is not being honest with her or he is not being honest with you. Quit playing her stupid little game! You left your cell on for family???? WHAT THE ____??? You and your H are a family too and deserve to spend Christmas in peace!! Turn the damn thing off and if you can't change your home number then get caller id immediately! OR you can block her number! OW doesn't care that you and your baby are STRESSED too!!! She would be more than happy to have you drop off the face of the earth so her baby trapping daddy plan will work better!

Your H and this OW are pissing me off. Tell him that what happens to the OW is not your concern nor should it be his. If his commitment is to you now then he has to show it by not going to the hospital until after the baby is born and not answering her calls. I would answer the phone if I were you! Ask her two questions only "Is the baby born yet?" and "Is he/she healthy?" then say that your H and you will be down the next day to see the baby. PERIOD!! end of discussion! hang up, ***** slap your H (just kidding-mostly) and make plans to see the baby the next day. Babies are beautiful no matter how they are conceived or who's womb they came from. Hopefully you will see the baby and know in your heart that they did not deserve this mess either and are just as innocent as you are. The OC will have their own share of pain too from this situation.

Sorry I have PMS!

I agree with everyone. As for my H, we are doing 50/50 custody and the baby is due in 6 days, therefore, there will be phone calls made. But its the fact that SHE knew what she was doing by ruining Christmas.
My H's loyalty does lie(lay??) with me and I know that. But as for the OW, he feels he needs to keep it civil so she doesn't go after us for money and screw us over even hard. I agree that he needs to be civil but I do agree that she shouldn't be crazy and call every 10 seconds. He did call her and tell her to STOP CALLING unless the baby is BORN. He did chew her a new A**hole so that I'm not worried about.
The OW has yet to find out that I'm pregnant so she could care less about the stress she causes me. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing. I've tried really hard not to let it bother me but that tends to be harder DONE then said especially being pregnant myself. I'm trying to think positive, like we find out what we are having on the 12th!!! That's exciting. My H is SO excited about our baby and that makes me feel great. So I have a lot of MIXED emotions when it comes to this situation because I want whats best for the baby (OW does NOT have a job come June, she is being KICKED OUT of the navy). So I know she will either go after us for money or I want to fight for FULL CUSTODY!!

I guess I'll delurk to offer the advice that the women of this forum pounded through my head...

She is nothing to you and doesn't deserve the attention that she is demanding.

The more she acts like an imature little brat, the more your husband will see her for what she is. She's just throwing a temper tantrum, that's all.

Your world does not revolve around her. Don't let her control you or your husband.

Sorry to hear that she ruined your Christmas. Try not to let her bother you too much.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H's loyalty does lie(lay??) with me and I know that. But as for the OW, he feels he needs to keep it civil so she doesn't go after us for money and screw us over even hard. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OH THIS IS the biggest BULL you and your H can ever allow yourselves to be caught up in.....

1. SHE IS GOING TO TRY TO SCREW YOU NO MATTER WHAT happens.. she ALREADY IS!!!

2. She will sue for child support no matter what-- don't even entertain a fantasy that she will not. She will do anything she possibly can to screw you over- she is already showing what a nut she is! If she is this nutty now-- I don't see her being reasonalbe for some time to come!

3. Your H HAS RIGHTS- JUST AS SHE DOES !! There is NO REASON to kiss her [censored] because she is not in control------ as far as the court is concerned---- they BOTH are entitled to -- as WELL AS responsible for the child!!!!!!!!

I am not saying your H should be a complete idiot like she is-- BUT that you should NOT DARE LET THIS WOMAN DICTATE what is NOT HER RIGHT TO DICTATE. She has no upper hand - this is a child, not a game, not a pawn... and when people start acting like she is-- you NEED to make this all legal, anyway.

I am rambling I think.... I'm sorry to sound so harsh, etc.. but there is just no way for me to tell you what mine or others' experiences have been without me betting MAD! I have a pretty hot temper for this kind of bullcrud and I just wish you so much strength-- you are going to need it- and you MUST exercise it in these situations!!!

((hugs))) you are doing just fine in my book- but you keep your firm hand ready to swat this wench out of your life, other than in "all business" fashion!!

Giovanna,

Its ok to be harsh. Trust me, this WHOLE week I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I think its because she is due Monday and I thought I would be able to do C with the OC but the more and more I think about it, I makes me sick. Yes, like I've said before, I know the OC is innocent but I just don't want to be bothered (hopefully not in an offense way to anyone) with dealing with a newborn RIGHT before I have my little one. I work with infants and feel by the time mine comes, I will be tired and burnt out.....
As for the OW, I KNOW!!! she will screw us over. She doesn't care about me or my H. She cares about herself. I honestly think she doesn't care about the OC but has too because she doesn't want to look like a B****. I just want this WHOLE situation to disappear. Sometimes I think its all made up in my mind, but then reality HITS ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS and realize its real. Last night I was on the computer and I got really angry reading on another site I go to. I looked over at my H and wanted to yell at him. Then I saw his face and realized how much I love him. He was just sitting there playing football and I thought how could this man whom I love with ALL MY heart and then some have hurt me so badly?