From post "You guys won't believe this!"

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"Whatever. Keep the nonsense where it belongs...which is whereever it came from."

Above quoted from KTBunch.....

I only posted it because it was a response to one of my posts on another board.
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I am new here, and I don't know any of you....but let me tell you something, for a board that is supposed to be supportive, you guys can sure make a person feel like an absolute peon.

First off, nonsense it may be, but it upset me. Secondly, KT....I think you have an attitude, and judging from some of your other posts today, your attitude isn't just directed toward me.

Thanks for making me feel welcome (dripping with sarcasm) in a place I am supposed to feel safe.

I did not come here to fight, or to feel worse about myself, my situation, or my point of view. And frankly, if this is the type of behavior and attitude I can expect to find in this forum everyday then I don't think I'll come here anymore. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I'm pretty sure that the beginning post is what KT was referring to - about sharing husbands.

TMorningafter--

HONEY... pleeease listen to me! I reread carefully what you were referring to and reread kt's post.

KT was COMPLETELY and absolutely directing he sarcasm toward the OW that may lurk to let them know and YOU as a newer person --- that we find this site to be utterly WRONG (most, not ALL people <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )... and to try to make you feel better about the fact this is NOT normal or ANYTHING that you should worry about <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I've gotten to know KT very well and she and are very much alike-- we are VERY open about things and try to be very realistic and open to every walk of life. KT is just playing around and being feisty! Myself and KT keep it real, and sometimes maybe too real for everyone, lol! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I know KT can speak for herself and will, but I feel bad about your post and know that sometimes I know for me, the way I joke ---- people can take me the wrong way when I am really just being a feisty debator! Or a spoiled "RD" (resurrected Diva <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

I apologize if you felt something other than welcome! You are- and there are so many kind smart ladies here that will always help.

I hope you'll take the time to stick around and get to know all the awesome, strong, supportive and fun girls here! You'll find its not like it may have been today-- a full moon and girls just having fun on a friday! Thats as deep as it is for me, or KT, thas for sure!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And TMA-- she puts LOL after all her sarcastic and silly remarks to show you she would be laughing as she said these things, know what I mean?

<small>[ January 07, 2005, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

TMA,

I too have read the thread here and none of the negative remarks were about YOU, but what you had posted FROM SOMEONE AND SOMEWHERE ELSE. The comment of: "Whatever. Keep the nonsense where it belongs...which is whereever it came from." was directed to the nonsense, not your pain! We have had repeated boardwars, and her statement was to keep stuff like that over there(where ever "there" is) to avoid attacks here. You, like many others, are in some major pain, and the last thing they need is an OW coming over here and pouring salt in your wounds, whether they are fresh or not.

From what I see, you have made a total of 10 posts and are already giving up on the board. I suggest that when you do post here, you keep things here, and vice versa. If you have an issue from this other board, and want the opinion of others, paraphrase, and make it clear that you want the opinions. But, make sure when you are reading the replies, you make sure what the comments are directed to. Also, if you are getting comments from the OW in your situation, THEN we could maybe help out better. But, if it's from some board, where, generally, you and others are anonnymous(sp) and you are getting replies like that, maybe you should stop posting at that board, or, depending on the type of board it is, report it to the moderators. But, from all that I have read that's been replied to you, you are taking it ALL WRONG. Come here with problems that we can help you with.

Oh, and that persons reply to whatever it is that you posted first is completely off the wall, and out in left field! I think it was CLO who said it, but it sure sounds like someone who was brought up with bigamist attitudes! Ignore this poster and maybe ask the same thing here as you did on the other board and see what we can help you with.

Tigger

TMA, if you're looking for a board where respectful interactions and protection are paramount, you might want to check out SYMC's board.

First off, nonsense it may be, but it upset me. Secondly, KT....I think you have an attitude, and judging from some of your other posts today, your attitude isn't just directed toward me.
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Have you read any of my other posts to you?

I do try to offer support & advice if needed.

I understand that you are newer into this than I am, but I strongly remember how it was when I was in yoru stage of 'it'. WHen it was so new & raw for me as well.

The advice I would offer 'back then' is completely different from the advice I can offer 'now' from the experiences I have had & the things I have learned.

I developed a more 'to-the-point' apprach & I am sorry if that bothers you.

As far as my attitude........that is what it is about--being more to the point & less coddling.

And about that 'other exchange' that I think you are referring to....there is more history behind that. THose of us who have been on teh board for quite awhile understand my frustration & especially since I was being personally challenged on a personal decision our family made....I felt the need to defend my position on that.

But I digress.....it's not about me.

WE are ALL here to help.

WE each offer our own views & experiences & you are free to agree or disagree in any way you see fit. WE don't all agree here, but our intentions (mostly) are to HELP anyone that needs it.

Those of us that are further into it are able to see things a bit more clearly sometimes & unemotionally since we are more on the 'other side' of it.

For example, for some (like myself) when we are newly into this, we can't even stand the idea of any OW posting over here & won't even read anything if it is coming from an OW. BUt as time goes on & you find yourself & your marraige recovering (again, like myself) you begin to be able to tolerate it & see a different POV, even if you disagree w/ it.

It comes w/ time.
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I'm sorry that you read that post somewhere & it upset you. I was able to see it for what it was---nonsense--but not be upset by it. That does not discount that YOU were upset by it & rightly so.

I was not clear w/ your first post what you wanted us to do w/ that information or how you really wanted us to respond but I did not want to get all riled up over what I could see as nonsense becuase the thinking(of the original poster) was SO absurd.

It was NOT a reflection on you whatsoever.
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I hope you stick around & this forum becomes a place that you can find the support that you want & feel comfortable enough to seek it.