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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,181
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Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,181 |
My h and I divorced 3/03, and his OC was born 8/20/03 a year to the day after I found out about the affair. I am wondering if I am just different because I think of the OC with love and hope that she is ok, happy and healthy. Especially since the OW involved gave up all rights to her son (now 4.5 years old) to her ex except every other weekend to be with my ex. I just feel for the child because I can't imagine her being raised by this woman and my ex, who was not ready to have kids with me. I actually wish sometimes I knew what OC looked like and how she was. Is this just obsessive??? I was willing to help raise her although I wanted him to put the marriage first but he chose to be a full time dad (he is living with OW- now GF I guess since we aren't married)
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13 |
No Adgirl48,
Not different. Just different from you ex-H and his GF who seem very self-centered to not even consider the child. I think you hit upon the important thing that they failed to recognize. I think it speaks volumes about the person you are that you are concerned about the OC. Hopefully life will be good for him/her.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 594
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 594 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am wondering if I am just different because I think of the OC with love and hope that she is ok, happy and healthy </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you are misunderstanding the people here. Our misgivings/anger/resentments/dillemas are with the OW and/or our H and/or A and/or our children's pain involving OC. All of us here "hated" the OC upon discovery, of course-- not the "OC" itself, just the idea and pain surrounding the OC's existence!
You are quite normal to not harbor ill feelings towards an innocent child-- As humans we care for the children around the world that we don't even know!
If you did hate an innocent baby, then I think that is where you'd be different, lol!
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243 |
I agree with Gio....most of the people here only harbor resentment for the situation, not the actual child...after all, no one in their right mind can blame an innocent child for the sins of the parents.
I love my step-daughter (OC), it was hard to swallow at first, but she is a part of my family!
I have to commend you for being able to look past the situation and see that the OC is completely innocent - and lovable!
Good for you!
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,181
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,181 |
I didn't think anyone harbored resentment necessarily, I just didn't know if for some people it was hard to love. The child is innocent but the pain associated could be hard to deal with. I feel love for the OC but I have never seen her. I just wonder sometimes who she looks like, and if she is being well taken care of. It's hard because I really want a child of my own, but I am alone right now. No husband, no child, it just sometimes feels empty. I know God has a plan for me, I just feel sad sometimes. I am in a funk I think.
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