I've heard several memeber talk about the ow forum and I wanted to know which one that was. I honestly would like to know from some of the ow why the participated in A's w/ married men. Also I wanted to know what does OT mean? Thanks in advance.
Cali

I am a former OW that posts on that other board. However, I do not believe that the administrators of this site want us to post the other board's address.

OT usually means off topic.

tewjtm/femalesargeant on the other board

Hey Cali!

I wanted to share my very, very broad intellect with you (lol)... O/T means "Off Topic"

and as far as the "other forum" I cannot, with a good conscience, give you the name of the forum. It is very very disturbing to the average mind... lol

BUT I am SURE if you do a search regading "the other woman" or "infidelity", etc.. this one will pop up.. or how about putting in your search "twilight zone" lol...

I wish I never found the place in my board travels--- its just no benefit really. There is not much room for any BS to respond without getting some ridiculous high school or attacking, name calling, gang up on BS response... and on the OC forum like ours-- well they will delete anything that they dont find encouraging or candycoated for the OW. Its their place,so I understand, but it is quite frustrating for someone like me to read some things and be discounted because I'm just a BW. But they post here and its all good <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Marysway and Joshsmom post here, and are loyal to that forum, but of all, I fel they are 2 that do *not* attack the BW here, or at TOW just because of titles. Most of the rest (not all)... ahhhh forgetaboutit! Just go beat your head against a brick wall and consider yourself as having been there already.. lol!

<small>[ January 16, 2005, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

cali,
Do not let giovanna's response discourage you. I have been a member of the other board for atleast 3 years and we have many members that are current or former BS. In fact, a few of our regulars post here as well. tewjtm/femalesargeant

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Marysway and Joshsmom post here, and are loyal to that forum, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In light of recent events, i don't know if you would say Jm and Marysway are loyal to that forum anymore.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> from some of the ow why the participated in A's w/ married men. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As a former Ow, well actually married OW, I don't know what was in my head when the affair started. We were both married to other people and I guess in a very selfish stage in our life. At least for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Said very well Gio. I went there (to the other board) once, got sick to my stomach and haven't been back since. There's an epidemic(lots of sick people) going on over there, so do yourself a favor and stay away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Crazymum:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Marysway and Joshsmom post here, and are loyal to that forum, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In light of recent events, i don't know if you would say Jm and Marysway are loyal to that forum anymore.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think that if you're new here, and to the whole situation, going there won't do you any good. I participated mostly on the Children's board, and have occasionally posted on the general board there, and unless you have very thick skin - it's not an easy place to "break into"..

OFF TOPIC! I get it!!! As for the other forum I thought it was one on MB. I didn't realize it was on another site. Thanks Guys!!

I've read there some. Some of the posts make me sick, but I've also learned a lot there that has been helpful to me. It has served as a good reminder that not all OW are the same, not all are evil, and not all are the OW in my own life. Seems obvious, but reminders are always good, right?

My question is about scarlet A that I've seen referred to. What's that???

PM

I have no clue what a scarlet A is but I'm curious also. Additionally if someone would like to email me the other site I'd appreciate it. Like I said I just want to better understand the complete picture which I understand really involved three people knowinglgly or not, BS, WS and OP. Anyway my email address is cali_smile99@yahoo.com Thanks in advance.

Cali, Do yourself a favor and do not go to that other board.

Let me ask you a few questions first.

How is your marriage right now?
How is your mental health?
How is your stability?
How thick is your skin?
Do you obsess over the OW and your WH?
Do you anger easily?
If you read something like "His wife is such a B****, she always calls him when we are togheter" how do you think you would react?

This board is not very BS friendly...When I first went over there, very early on in my sitch, I got sick, literally sick..I couldn't sleep for days/weeks, wondering why these woman think that way? I baffles my mind still.

Please do not go over there. I have been back once since then, I spent a few hours over there and found one thread that really made me sad...it was a thread that talked about how the OW's feel when they aren't with their MM...It was unbelievable to say the least!

I will not email you the link, just for your own safety, if you really want to go there, just do as Gio said, and actually one poster has already mentioned the board by name...

You've been warned! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Going to the 'other board' will NOT give you insight as why YOUR H & OW did what they did.

You will just read stories about specefic people & their way of thinking.

When I first went there I too became physically sick reading some of the stuff. From then on I only went to the OC/OW board & it was ok.... for awhile.

It is their turf so there is not much welcome, need or use for BW posting there.


I hardly go over there anymore, there is no need.

Really, please, listen to us.......it can be quite upsetting.

If you ever did find it----------you would really have to be waaaaaaaaaaaay past d-day to tolerate it for very long.

NO not every one is 'bad' but the thought process is quite contrary to most BW, obviously, it IS a site for OW, so they are involved in a lifestyle that IS contrary to what we believe is RIGHT!

Scarlet A is a site that is WAAAAAAAAAY AGAINST cheaters. It is pretty lewd & revenge motivated.


Try to focus on YOU & NOT OW. She is NOT worth your time, really.


xoxoxoxxoxoxoxxo
kt

Don't bother with it. It is actually quite sad. People who are so depraved of any morals and any sense of decency. I have had a few laughs over there though. The river of denial runs deep.

Overall, it isn't worth the click on the computer. I haven't cruised that sight in ages, it is just the same old blather.

In a nutshell:

1. He loves me and is miserable with wife.
2. He is only staying for the children, or money.
3. He misses me terribly,and he must be awake all night in pure hell without me in his life.
4. I hate him.....but see #3
5. His wife is an evil witch....so I'm told.
6. He will not tell his wife any of my secrets.
7. He is an "[censored] dad" for being good to his children......but chosing no contact with mine.
8. He wants to see oc, but wife won't let him.

Get the picture? Take those scenarios and twist them anyway you want and that is that board.

What they don't say:

1. I was an embarrassment to him.
2. I am not worth leaving for.
3. He is telling his wife all my secrets.
4. He is providing his wife a home and security, not me.
5. If he truly wanted to see oc and his wife said no, he could divorce and see all of his kids. But he still doesn't leave.
6. He must truly hate me for all the calls and harrassment I have done.
7. His wife is evil, and yet she is worth securing a future with, and not me. HMMMMM.


It isn't worth your time. Just picture a bunch of "Alex" (from Fatal Attraction) type women and that is it, in a nutshell.

Dang Lynn,
I was going to post a reply but the timer for my stove just went off.

I better go check on my Boiling Bunnies.

BRB.

LOL...clo

I do agree with KT on the site changing. I used to post on certain topics on OW with OC board. But things change..que sera.

ent

KT, Lynn G and all of you guys thanks you. I found some site I really didn't get what I was looking for. I wasn't offened as much as I was shocked that people feel so strongly for a lifestyle that surely they most know wont bear positive fruit. It's like someone taking a S&*% and expecting it to smell like roses. Not going to happen. It makes a lot of sense what you said KT about getting perspectives from others situations and not from my own. Since I do want to try and understand what went wrong what the hell happened in the first place what should I do then? I realize that I had a role in this as well and I just want to try and do whatever I can to make sure it doesn't happen again. But I guess you never have that garantee

Nothing is SURE BUT there is LOTS you AND your H can do to AVOID your marriage getting as vulnerable as it was to get @ that point.

This site has TONS of great info for that.
A great starting point is the Emotional Needs Questionairre.

Because, I believe, really that it all boils down to that. That a WS is lacking in something (EN) & it doesn't have anything to do per say, w/ the BS but rather what the WS is lackign that they look elsewhere for. No excuse but a reality.

It takes a lot of maturity & some time to really evaluate the process that leads a WS to having an affair.

It sounds like you are getting to that place.

The harleys recommend a MINUMUM of 15 hours per week of time spent together between spouses for a HEALTHY marriage & even MORE for a marriage w/ problems. I think they are right on track w/ that. IT's a great place to start.

It sounds like you are on the right track as well, @ least from your perspective.

sincerely,
kt

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:
<strong> Dang Lynn,
I was going to post a reply but the timer for my stove just went off.

I better go check on my Boiling Bunnies.

BRB. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay I got a chuckle out of that one!

OW's - I bet you are boiling a bunny! Your "attitude" certainly proves the point much better then any words can.

LG,
You forgot :

In a nutshell:

9: Ever since Dday last week, I haven't heard a peep, I don't understand why his wife keeps him under lock and key. After the dust settles, I'm sure he'll stop by to let me know how sorry he is, and that I'm his soulmate.

What they don't say:

10: Since Dday, there's NC, the marriage was obviously worth far more than the secret meetings. It's not so much fun being the OW after DDAY and you realize you weren't first choice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

But once you are in a better place... emotionally... that board can definately create a chuckle or two... especially around holidays...and there's a BIG one coming up.