H met with OW last week to go over custody papers. He's giving her full legal and physical custody, she's dropping the child support arrears. My H will continue to pay his monthly child support and didn't expect OW to allow any visitation, even if they agreed on it. During last week's meeting the OW said she would consider parenting time. She called the next day and said she would like to work out a visitation schedule to file with the rest of the paperwork. My H had arranged to meet her in a public place today in the afternoon, but all three of our children woke up this morning with horrific colds. When my H called OW this morning to reschedule, she said she would meet him at our house today to go over and sign paperwork. I guess OC is also home from school today so she's bringing OC with her.

OW has never been to our home. We didn't want her to know exactly where we lived, since she wasn't allowing us to visit with OC we didn't see the point. But, I'm at work today until four o'clock and just the fact that they're going to be "hanging out" at my house for the afternoon has sent me into a spin! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

OW is acting awfully accomodating - this is completely against her nature. She went from saying she thought OC was better off without my H as a father to being okay with parenting time. She told my H that she "can't even talk calmly with him so it's best that they don't talk at all" and now they're okay to sit at my house and have coffee to go over paperwork?!

I don't know, I trust my H and I know he won't do anything stupid. And I'm willing to deal with a lot just to get something signed and filed with the courts so OC can be a part of our family. But this makes me very nervous and panicky.

Tell me I'm being silly and I'll just calm down (if I can)!! I can't get over the nagging feeling that she's up to something....or maybe I just can't imagine her being so nice and pleasing after four years of static. Don't know....soothing words would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

I think you should GO HOME! That would soothe your soul & make you feel more @ ease.

Why should your kids have to meet OW & you not be there? Are THEY going to be explaining to your kids who this OC is & why this woman is here w/ daddy? I should think NOT!

I don't think you are over-reacting @ all. I would feel all freaky & probably nausious @ the thought of it too.

Take it all @ face value & keep your guard up. Expect nothing & suspect everything. If OW is coming to her senses-great for everyone, if not, then you are prepared.

DO what is best for YOU---go home & put your mind @ ease.

I don't think you will be comfortable until you are there in person to see things for yourself so taek a VERY deep breath and GO.

Big, big, big HUGS!

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxox
kt

I agree w/KT. If you can leave work early, then go home. You need peace of mind, girl! No point in sitting at work freaking out. Not fair to you at all. Good luck to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Can't leave work today....we've got two guys at a trade show, one out of town, one out sick. My sales rep is coming in a 2pm and I may be able to leave at that point, but there are no gaurantees.

Believe me, I'd do anything to be able to go home right now!

Perhaps I should lay off the coffee for the rest of the day! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Still a wreck....but thanks for the replies and hugs (KT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )....

Is XOW already there or can your H call her to have her come this evening when you're home?

H called me an hour and a half ago to let me know she was on her way to our house. I'm assuming she's already there because I haven't heard otherwise and H said he would call if there was a change in plans or after she left our house.

I told my H that it was okay, he could sense I was freaking out a little and tried to calm me down and make me feel at ease. I don't want to be the one who drives a wedge into his relationship with his daughter. But, there are still times, like this one, where I don't feel very comfortable with things.

I just wish I could always see what's going on everywhere I should be, but can't.

C'est la vie... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

AVNL- I know what you mean. My H had to talk to XOW on the phone yesterday to verify that she was going to the DNA Lab for paternity testing on OC and I wasn't around for the conversation and didn't like it one bit. There's always that little bit of non trust because of the circumstances that we've all been through. And I definitely don't trust XOW or her intentions because she burned me too so it's hard, I know. Hang in there and breathe!!

OW drops OC off at my house every Wednesday and I am always at work so he calls me and puts me on speaker phone until the moment she pulls out of the parking lot this is helpful for me. I hope that she is not that stupid.

SOinCO,

What a beautiful idea! I think I'm going to tell my sales rep that I HAVE to go home when he gets here. I'm already working overtime, I shouldn't have to stay. But it's been two and a half hours since OW called my H to say she was on her way (she lives 15 mins from our house) and my H still hasn't called to say she's left and now I'm starting to fret again! I don't want to allow them too much time together alone - simply because it bothers ME. Two hours is long enough to look over paperwork and sign on the dotted line, isn't it? Why would it take so long?

AVNL, if I were you I'd call home to see what's up, and make sure you tell H that you love him so he has to say it back to you in front of her!!! He he he

Michele,

Didn't have to, H called me a few minutes ago and said "I love you" even before I did. OW & OC are still there for the moment, but H said he was going to the court house in a bit to file papers. We couldn't really talk (because OW was still there) so I guess I'll have to wait to get the full scoop on things. I don't know why, but since he called I've been p*ssed off, don't know why it took so long (three hours) or why she's still there. No one is here yet to relieve me, so I'm stuck here PO'd and waiting to leave. I am thankful my H made the first move and said love you on the phone without my insistence. But, how do I know she just wasn't in the bathroom and couldn't hear him talking to me? At least he has all of the kids there, our oldest is 10 so they can't possibly do anything or say anything too awful. Just feeling really insecure about it, I guess.

Thanks for the help though, it's great to have a place to go to get the support I need.

You all rock! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That is the only reason I let OW come while I am at work aren't older children a blessing. I'm happy that he took into consideration your feelings and tried to put them at ease. He sounds like he really is willing to try to make things better for the two of you. Good Luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />