I am 3 months pregnant right now. Things between H and I are going good for the most part. We've been getting along good, he cooks dinner almost every night, he's calling to let me know where he's going, etc... He seems to come home and really talk to me now about his day etc... He also rarely goes anywhere now, except his parents or home, hunting (w/ family friends), or places we go together.

He's excited about this baby and is making plans for the room etc...

This past week the paternity issue has really been bothering me. It seems like that's all I think about. That also seems to be the only thing we fight about. That and the amount of times XOW calls, but that seems to be slowing down. H keeps telling me he will get the paternity test done, but there just always seems to be a reason. Initially it was money, now I have the money saved. After OC was born he got a DWI. His photo license has been taken away until it goes to court. He drank frequently during the affair. That went way down after he found out about OC. He was staying home all the time. Then he went to a bacherlor party one night thinking he could drink what he use to, he cant! He also stupidly tried to drive home. Now since he doesn't have a photo licencse he's waiting for the courts to make a decison on what's going to happen. If it gets dropped, he will get it back, if not we'll have to see what they say-he may have to get a photo ID. He has not really been drinking anymore, my point is more about the ID. He doesen't have it, and now he says how can I get the paternity test done w/o the ID? (Iknow he can probably get a photo ID now, but he's suppose to go to court in Feb. so about the time he got it in the mail, he'll be going to court anyway.) I just feel like he's really dragging his feet on the issue. He feels strongly that it is his, I want the proof. He's not arguing w/me about getting the test, I just think 7 months is too long! I'm just not sure if I should try to let it go for a while, or if I should continue to fight w/ him about it. He seems to get a little more distant whenever I nag him about the issue. He's always been a procrastinator, but I feel this is important. It's also not something I can not do on my own. He has to do it. I try to explain to him how I feel about the issue, and he just doesn't seem to understand, he doesn't think it's been that long, and just keeps telling me it will get done. I'm not sure where to go from here. While I know that what got us to this point was his stupid actions, I'm just not sure if it's worth all the arguing during my pregnancy. I also seem to be dwelling on the issue and it's making me a little nuts. I keep praying for God to take it out of my hands, but I guess I'm not letting it go yet.

I would insist on the test as Soon as you get his id back,your're right he is procratinating, you'd think he'd want to know. Hang in there. Keep praying.

hi there!

throughout pregnancy, EVERYTHING IS MORE INTENSE....your hormones are on a rollercoaster that is going LIGHT SPEED! You have every right to be asking your H for a paternity test. It blows me away that men don't want to get one...why not? find out it is not theirs? or what? mine hasn't gone for the paternity test either......*sigh* but listen, you are EVERY RIGHT to be feeling the way you are feeling. Out of respect if paternity isn't proven, it needs to be. I speak that in my situation too! Many women on here have given me the advice that you MUST take care of your little one growing inside you !!! I have a hard time doing that too. But today when I saw the OC for the first time, all my worries and stresses about OW disappeared because I realized it ISN"T ABOUT HER! Its about me and the OC and my little one! Good Luck.....my email is meganluvsmike2002@yahoo.com for any reason!

Just a note, your H can go to the DMV and get a state ID card with his picture, it costs maybe $15-$20. Even the state understands that most people can't function without some sort of photo identification.

Tell him to quit making excuses, if it would make you feel better, it should be done.

Just MHO...

Hugs,
T

Believe me, I've told him just about everything I can think to tell him. The only thing I get from him is that it will be done. He obviously knows my feelings on the matter.

I just sent him an e-mail asking him why he hasn't gotten an ID. (I'm sure he'll have some excuse.

I'm just getting tired of fighting about it. It's not making things go any faster. I think I am going to try to keep my mind off of it, and do my best not to bring it up. (I'm not sure if I can.) Maybe he'll get it done on his own. I don't know what else to try. If he doesn't want to do it, I can't force him. I wish when I told him conditions, I would have thought to give him a time limit. Everything else seems to be going pretty good for us, so I'm tired of fighting him about it. Although we are married, it's his money that he uses for CS. We've always kept our finances seperate, and he gives me the money for the bills. (So the CS certainly has affected his frivelous spending, but not me too much.) If he wants to spend him money irresponsibly than he can make that choice. I'm not his mother, and I've done everything I can do to show him why I think it's important.

All I know is if anything ever happened between us, you can bet I will have a legal custody agreement for our baby as well as CS. (I also would not allow him to pay me less than the specified amount like XOW is.)

For the life of me I can't understand why XOW doesn't seem to care there is no father's name listed on her child's BC. (Except so she can continue to keep the majority of OC's care.) You would think she would want more for her child.

One small ray of hope...

I asked H about why he hasn't gotten his ID, and he said he probably will end up doing that. (I think it will take just as long though.)