I am new here and wanted to tell my story! I was with my exwife for 15 years. I am 35 and she is 34. A little over a year ago, she started an A with a 26 year old who lived with his mom and dad. I found out about the A when she started acting strange, avoided me and all of the other things WS do. She moved out of the house in December of 2003 and lived with her mom for a spell. In February of 2004, she got her own place and moved the OM in along with my two daughters. She filed for D in March. I found out she was pregnant in October of 2004 and she had the child in December. I have been through hell because of this. The OM is a real work of art and has nothing to offer the EX. He has a meaningless job, a child from another girl who lives with his mom and dad and not him and the EX and has a past that nobody could be proud of. I have only talked with Bozo twice. He is full of hot air and even told me I was mad because he was "******** my wife!" The guy has seen me in public and has no ***** to try to confront me and only does his business on the phone. The OM's child is 5 years old and doesn't live with him and my EX because..from what the EX tells me, "Lives with his mom and dad because thats all she knows." The R between the Ex and OM is a strange one. he has been caught cheating on her, treats her like **** and has nothing at all to offer her. Anything he has now is from her and ME...By proxy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Anyhow, this is me and I am having a hard time dealing with all of this...I am done with the D now and have to pay 70 a month extra because she had his child. They even used my medical insurance to have the baby! Oh well!

<small>[ February 06, 2005, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Wow...........I'm sorry to hear all this. How are your daughters doing with all this? How does he treat your girls? Can you get custody of your girls if there relationship is that toxic? And WHY on earth do YOU have to pay ANY extra money for HIS child?

Yah, I'm wondering WHY you ahve to pay extra for that child too?

Yes, children born during a marraige are considered a product of the marraige BUT since W moved OUT & all that why couldn't you enter in proof of yoru suspicion about the REAL paternity of OC?

YOu could have requested a paternity test.

Can you still go back to court & do that?

Also.......I am w/ ntmo w/ this-----GET YORU CHILDREN OUT OF THAT HOME.

Beg, borrow or sell whatever you have too to get full custody of YOUR daughters. I know it will not be easy but it is NOT impossible. I don't want to scare you w/ all the negative statistics that happen to young girls who are living w/ mom's shack-ups! uuggghhh!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I am so sorry that your xW put you through that. WE all can imagine how devastating that can be.

Hugs.....

kt

Kids are doing well as expected. I can't prove the stuff is going on because there isn't a police report to go by. I have to pay more because the judge told me by the W having OM's child, she lowered her way of life and income. Nothing I can do about it! I tried for custody but same ole same ole.

Oh, it's your ALIMONY that went up because she now has an additional dependant?

You're not paying CS for this child though, right?

It sounds like he's paying more for the other two kids, which is basically paying for this oc <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I think I'd go with KT on this, beg borrow sell whatever you can and get them out of there. Also, it's nonsense about you presumed the baby's father. stbxh and I went to court and told the judge I was pregnant with another man's child. I still had to do DNA with xmm, but I was not going to Pinn (or allow xmm to use a loophole) to pinn stbxh for his child. I may have screwed up and had an affair, but that does not mean I'm going to screw anyone over. Also, tell you x to get on welfare and have her looser boyfriend pay that extra 70.00 to the state for her lower standard of living. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Some people just get to me.........sorry you have to go through all this.

What a horrible thing!!

I'm so sorry things went this way. Ouch, ouch, ouch... Sometimes life sucks so much.

(((((nomoreme)))))

J
6y recovery
3 kids +visitation

It all really hurts...Even though its been over a year since the start of the nightmare! I talk with the EX every now and then. A while back, I asked her if the divorce made her happy and she told me, "Only time will tell." She also told me, she lives one day at a time. I know things with the OM aren't as great as she would lead me to believe and she is the type who hides from life. I always wonder how she feels about all of this...She can't ever face me and only calls. She acts like I am a ghost. I am curious if there will ever come a time that some guilt hits her and she sees the big mess she and the OM created?! She tells me I worked too much and she was alone. I was just trying to provide a good life for my family! I have no desire to see the OC what so ever. I dread the day I do see the baby because I know it will hurt. The OM has told me lots on the phone. He made sure to tell me I was just mad because he was ******* my wife. I wonder if their little fantasy world will ever come crashing down...I doubt it though!

<small>[ February 06, 2005, 04:39 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

NOmore.........just from experience most of the relationships like this don't last and this is coming from an xow! There is just so many lies to start off with and if he is abusive and all as you said, why on earth would she put up with it? Do you want your wife back? I know your hurt and all, but just wondering. If your xwife can't look at you in face than I'm sure she is already feeling some sort of guilt....to get her to admit well that is a different story. I wish you luck in your healing and getting this all straigtened out.