Calgary Herald


Tuesday, February 08, 2005


**** Reprinting copyrighted material without permission is against the law and also against the terms of use for this forum. ****

<small>[ February 09, 2005, 11:53 PM: Message edited by: Tempest ]</small>

Thanks for the head's up Rio!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> The whole CS issue is a real sore spot with me! I don't think the guidelines are fair at all. And this article is completely outrageous!

I understand that the father is responsible for supporting his children. If he wasn't doing that, the Xwife could've gone to the court to request modification to the support order. She didn't. That is not the fault of the father. I believe that if the custodial parent is satisfied with the amount of support recieved from the non-custodial parent it should be left at that. I don't think the courts should be able to require more support, or back support if the custodial parent did not request a modification. It doesn't make any sense to me.

In my situation. My H is required to pay support for OC. Our youngest son had cancer and was sick for a year. My H had to quit his job and stay home to take care of our son. Even though he had no job, and he didn't get to see OC at all - he was still required to pay the support. He requested a modification because his income was gone, and according to Colorado law there wasn't enough difference between his former salary and his current NO SALARY to modify the order <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . SO I PAID THE SUPPORT on a meager $25,000/year salary. We couldn't make the full payments, so now there's arrears - plus OW is on TANF and receives twice as much money from them than we pay. And now we owe the difference! So, in one year , OW has racked up over $4,000 in arrears using TANF and the Support Registry. The IRS is taking most of my tax refund (I'm the only one with income) to pay for it.

Not to mention the fact that OC had no winter coat and was wearing clothes two sizes too small the last time we saw her. But the OW had her nails done and was wearing Express jeans and Tommy Girl perfume! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Where did the $4,000 go?!! OW received it, but it obviously didn't go toward supporting OC!!

I think there should be some sort of requirement to report HOW the CS is used!

Gosh, sorry, this whole thing just pisses me off!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Blackrio- why don't you print this out and give it to the WIFE of the MM you have an ongoing relationship with and a child with.

Maybe WHEN his WIFE finds out that HER HUSBAND has been supporting you who only works 1 day a week, helping to pay YOUR household bills on top of CS, paying $ and care for OC w/you, and YOUR OTHER KIDS,

NOW THAT WOULD BE A STORY. "Your" MM's wife works long hours every day and some weekends-- SO--- I think it'd be a H*LL OF A STORY when a wife like that finds out about you (who also STILL WHINES THAT SHE GETS MORE THAN YOU AND HE IS NOT DOING ENOUGH TO HELP YOU AND YOUR OTHER KIDS)..... AND SHE takes HER H to court for ALL HE IS WORTH and then you get FREAKING ZIPPO beyond court guildelines.. and SHE FILES FIRST for CS and you GET LESS...

grrrrrrrrrrr I've tollerated you here without saying boo about you-- but today-- I'm not in a very good mood and YOU posting about women getting more child support is TYPICAL of a person living like you are in your life.

MAKE me sick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I get 150.00 a month in CS and I am raising 2 kids not my own w/o child support ALSO------ AND THEN money goes to OC (which OC is entitled to OF COURSE ..)...

And most of us here are STRAPPED FOR $$$ due to bloodsuckers like you-- SO I FIND your LITTLE ARTICLE EXTREMELY irritating today.

OR ANOTHER IDEA-- why not use this article to find a way to SUCK MORE out of the "MM" of yours.

NOW THIS is what I'd like to see. All of the EXTRAS you get from her husband while SHE WORKS long hours- SHE GETS BACK !!!!!!!

I'm not in a very good mood today and you are the last person who should be putting this crap up at a marriagebuilding site.

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Avictim- our posts crossed.

I'm just glad to see that this article didnt just P*SS ME off----

StormyW knew this would NOT sit well here and that is why she posted it.

Now, in conjunction with HER OWN story, and in CONJUNCTION with the financial problems WE HERE seem to have AND STILL GET BY.... AND IN CONJUNCTION WITH MY BAD MOOD right now...

grrrrrrrrrrrrr again.

Yeah, and I'm sure he will jump right on that. GMAB.

This thing will get dragged through the court system for years. I can almost guarantee you that bill will never be paid.

Men's organizations are getting stronger by the day and this one will be fought.

I'm looking at this in an all a round way.
Based on the guildlines in this topic:
LOW END:
$45,000yr.= $4,600yr/$389mo..CS OR $82,800 IN 18 YRS.(LESS THAN 2YRS. INCOME) wich =Leaves$40,332yr/$3,361mo.to live on
HIGH END:
$150,000YR.=$14,232yr/$1,186mo.CS OR $256,176 IN 18 YRS.(LESS THAN 2YRS. INCOME)
WICH LEAVES $135,769YR/$11,314mo. to live on

In a perfect world an honest Father/Mother would let the court know of changes of income as they happen,this is thier child as well and they shouuld want their child to have it.
How would a mother/father know of changes in any X's income in order to file for more CS?
Like he/she is going to the the other person,RIGHT,only is they're an honest person.
And yes, if he/she is making less income the CS needs to be readjusted then too.

Victim,
You shouldn't have PD H's CS,its his responsiblity!
Has/did he file for hardship: if not call your lawyer and ask about it.
They can't take your income unless you file jointly,and you can file a hardship paper for it,it's for spouses in our situation(sorry, forgot the exact name for it)for your taxes as well.
In Your case and some other's yes, some people need/should show how csis spent,especsially if like in your case & the child has no winter coat or clothes that fit properly, when getting the best for their selves.
Any mother/father who wouldn't provide things like clothes like that should be ashamed of themselves.
In my case we are living on H's inemployment and welfare, yes, we struggel too, but we get all our kids including OC what they need, and we get the CS paid as well.

Here's my question why should the dad or a mom pay more? Are they not providing for there childs needs? As parents you obligated to supply for needs, right? Isn't the extra just kind of a want. Who's to say that if that child was in there home those monies would be allocated to them. i don't feel that a parent should have to pay support based on what a parents income is. I think cs should be paid based upon what the oc needs are period and I think it should be split right down the middle 50/50 the ow or whomever should have to provide less or none at all just because of he job or lack of just as the father shouldn't either. All this Cs BS just pisses me off. I mean please tell me how in our cases a mm is supposed to support his TRUE family when ow is always begging for more damn money. get a freaking job and shut up already. Arrrh. It just makes me so annoyed. He should pay cs, ity is an obligation. but he also has an obligation to his family. Are you telling me that if my husband got an extra job to try and replace the money OUR family lost by paying child support that he'll just end up paying more cs. WTF?!!! That is so damn stupid. So what am I supposed to get a job now an suppliment our income just to insure that the additional funds aren't taken away from our family?

I think cs should be paid based upon what the oc needs are period and I think it should be split right down the middle 50/50
And how are the needs of the child determined?

Gio, if you haven't figured it out, I'm for family rights when it comes to the issue of child support. I get outraged when articles like this one comes through because laws are being twisted away from their original intentions.

As far as my situation, my house is very low maintenance in which I made even more adjustments to incorporate our daughter into my household and so that I could stay with her for a few months. Clothes were passed down from one son to another. I received many gently used clothes from relatives and friends for baby girl. I don't mind cutting and using coupons. Instead of buying the educational supplements for my kids like I usually do, I made do this year with computer made flash cards, worksheets and online websites where they can work on their skills. Hell, from them frugal websites I learned stuff like how to make my own babywipes by using cut in half paper towels and baby bath.

So please don't think I am living high on the hog because I'm not. I chose to buy a trailer 2 years ago because I knew it would cut down on the monthly rent I would have spent on continuing to rent an apartment. That cut my monthly bills almost in half.

As far as the extras, he pays what would be awarded by the court for child support, medical and taking out a life insurance policy which all he has already agreed to in a notarized statement in which his lawyer has told him will basically hold up in court. I have learned from past mistakes in this area what to do and what not to do.

I give myself home perms. My pedicures basically consist of saoking my feet in the bathtub and then having my sons color my toenails with their markers.

I post this types of articles so that people became aware of what is happening around them so that they don't become victims of this type of blindsidedness. Sorry if you feel that you would rather not know that courts are actually ruling this way. The system is BROKEN. I get at least 6-10 articles each day regarding these type of loopsided rulings. Its happening everyway.

So I am sorry if you thought I posted it to piss people off, that was not my intentions. If you have noticed the type of advice I have posted regarding child support and visitation, you would see that I'm all for fair settlements for both parties.

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 07:32 PM: Message edited by: Stormyweather ]</small>

AVictimNoLonger,
You need to file an "Injured Spouse" return, so that the money YOU paid in Fed. Withholding Tax does not go to child support. I believe you attach it to your regular return. As far as the IRS is concerned, you are not legally liable for a child that is not yours.

LC

I live in Calgary and have been involved very recently with the rules of CS, having just completed and signed our separation agreement after 17years of marriage.

When I married by H in 1988 I left a job that was very well paying and moved to a new city two days after we were married. I was pregnant with our 1st of 3 children within three weeks and for the next 10 years I stayed home with the children and also day cared others to make ends meet.

Moving ahead a few years, with my support and another move my H was making over $200,000 a year by 2001. He was gone most of the time and I was in effect a single mom anyways. I started a business from home that bloomed into a growing concern. He never supported me in this endeavour, even though our children were now in school and my hours were flexible enough to be home for the kids when they went to school and when they got home each day! I am only just breaking even at this point of the business.I would be doing better had I had the kind of support I gave to him over the years!!

To make my point, my H entered mid life and went into full blown crisis!! He had 1 A with my BF 3 years ago which I tried to weather, then recently decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Another EA!

In order to move on I allowed our long term home to be sold so that we could each have our $ out to purchase new homes. The children live with me, they did not want to be with ther dad who they feel is overbearing, angry and whose schedule would not allow for it anyways!

In our agreement he pays me $2431.00 a month in CS. THis allows us to live in a home (not as large or elegant as before) but in the same general neighbourhood and same school area as we were before the separation.

Why shouldn't we have to pay this much? He makes over $10,000. a month!!! There are 4 of us and only 1 of him! If he can't afford to get remarried anbd have more children I could care less! His first responsibility is to the family he made first and walked out on to fulfill his own selfish needs!!

If his salary goes up I do expect to get more - I gave up 17 years of career progression and educational updating to be there for him and our children, I can never make up that lost ground. He will continue to make more $$$ each year. He is good at that!!

My 2 cents worth for what it matters.
My aim for the future is-
Success is the best revenge - I mean that!!

imo there should be alimony after a long-term marriage where one spouse (usu. wife) loses career time etc. due to the marriage, but not necessarily tied to child-support.

Military is a good example. Wife of a military retiree is entitled to part of his retirement income if they were married 15 or more years. Believe me, it is difficult, sometimes impossible to complete a college degree or keep a career flow when you are moving every 2-3 years!! There's more to it than that, but alimony can be a valid thing.

I also agree child-support is often inflated and sometimes not used to support the child.

But even "perfect" laws cannot correct imperfect, unjust people... Sigh.

Hugs to everyone in pain.
J

ShellyC,

I feel the need to comment on something as I am a numbers sort of a guy. I am not arguing with your feelings of entitlement. But, in the US the CS and whatever are NOT deductable. So if he makes 10K a month, he has roughly 5-6K left after fed, state, and FICA taxes. THEN he pays support. Here you would not pay taxes on the money he supplies.

I don't know the laws in Canada nor the tax structure. My only comment is that people often forget to do the MATH when arguing these points which weakens the arguement. You have reason to be bitter, so I am not quibbling with that.

God Bless,

JL