Good..I am glad to hear that! Let us know if you have any questions! We will help you thru this!

Actually, i just read what is on the site about Plan B, I've read Surviving An Affair. But I still don't understand. Does this just mean that yout don't talk to them until they are really ready to commit to the marriage? How do you really know when they are ready since they go back and forth so much?

No alimony in Texas OMG I will never move there LOL

Well there is a thing called status Quo that your lawyer can enforce for you that will make him keep up his obligation right now till you finalize your Divorce but keep in mind you have all the way till Aug to Plan B him, make up, and cancel the divorce proceedings.

Why not tell the H that you would prefer to let your BIL fix up the house and not him.
Also tell him you refuse to leave your home for any reason I know he may try to use the fumes of the paint ect but that wont really affect you since your in Texas and you can leave the windows open for ventilation.

Never abandon the marital home for any amount of time!
He seems nice now but it is more than obvious he can be SELFISH & DECIETFUL. He can turn in a minute.

He may very well have the thought of selling all the contents of the house for all you know. I know that I doubt that myself but i really dont know your husband.I can only go by the fact that he did abandone you his pregnant wife last night and from now on that is just PLAIN selfish but he also was honest enought to tell you his true feelings which helps you make an informed decision. I say expect the worse so you won't be disappointed or thrown by what happens next.

First, let me explain to you that Plan B is NOT to end the Affair! You have to understand that before you decide to enter it! The reason I have suggested to you to go into Plan B NOW, is because you are so ready to file for Divorce...this is the time I decided and was approached with the idea of giong into Plan B...

A little background from me, just in case you dont know! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I tried and tried to WIN my H back...all the while I was dealing with a WH...I did everything I could to WIN him back...but to no avail...eventually my love for him quickly faded...as he began emerging from the FOG, aka as His alien state of mind, I began losing all hope for this marriage to survive. He had hurt me one too many times and it was time for me to protect the love I had left for him if ANY!

Everyone kept telling me that the love will come back...just give it some time...I failed at Plan B many times...simply because I wanted so badly to believe anything he said...He was out of the house for a few weeks, then he would call me and say "I want to come home" and I would ask if he ended it with her and he would say yes or no..usually NO, BUT, BIG BUT, she KNOWS if I move back home it is over...soooo, here we go again, I would let him come home...and into the fog he would fall..AGAIN!

Did you know I got him a fog machine, a spaceship and an alien for xmas! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OK, that is me...so now onto YOU my dear! Plan B is to protect YOU, YOUR MARRIAGE and ANY love that you have left for you H! Plan B is NOT meant to END the Affair! You must prepare yourself for a possible divorce OR reconciliation!

so that said...what does all this mean. It means that Plan B will remove YOU from the constand turmoil and chaos your H is causing you! It is designed to bring you peace...You will not speak to him, see him, email him, text message him, IM him or anything else that would cause any sort of "feeling" to be exchanged between you two!

You need to set up an intermediary...someone who is not too close to your situation if possible...preferrably not your mother, or his...

Plan B is also designed to allow the OW to meet ALL of your WH EN's...and I mean ALL OF THEM!

I will not lie to you...Plan B is tough at first...you will go thru withdrawal, you will have shivers, you will cry, you will want to pick up the phone and call him...DONT! It will only give him the fix he needs from you in order to justify why he is doing what he is doing!

You need to draft up a Plan B letter! I will link some threads for you on that!

how do you know when he is serious about reconcilation? I dont know...I'm not there yet...although mine is wanting to come home, he hasn't met the conditions I have set for him...mine are a bit more than the average...about 24 more than the average! Just ending it is not good enough for me...You have to set the conditions and if they are not met, then he canot come home!

I have to go get my kiddos to bed...I'll check back in here in a bit!

Plan B letters!

Here you go...take a look at these samples...If you would like me to post my Plan B letter as well, just let me know...I've got two of them...This link should provide what the Plan B letter should include as well...I haven't looked at it in a while!

Wife, you are in good hands here.

You are NOT alone- these ladies here are as real as it gets.

Take their advice. Keep your sanity. Live your life.

As I'm reading these posts to you, I realize how lucky you are to have these women. When I was in your shoes I did not find this place yet.

You are going to survive this- and I see the strong ladies here coming around with sound advice.

This is a strong network.

I have learned so much here, it is amazing,and a blessing.

Wife- I am so sorry. My heart hurt for you today. Ugh--- this pain is so real and so strong! I don't know what to offer you.... but as I stated above, you are in such good hands here and I commend these ladies her who are surrounding you with sound advice and love and supprt.

All of you ladies, and Wife- YOU TOO- are wonderful examples of pillars of strength, even if you do not realize it. You are examples to me!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

OK, I've been reading through Plan B letters, etc... and I do feel that is something I will do. However, I also feel I need to start divorce proceeding to protect myself and the baby I am carrying. My insurance is through H's work, and I need to make sure I will remain on that. I want it set up for H to help w/ the house payment until after the baby is born. So, after talking to several lawyers yesterday they recommended I get H to sign an agreement now, while he is in this frame of mind. I left him a message early this morning, I knew he would be asleep, and told him I had contacted several lawyers. I have picked one, and would like for us to meet to discuss an agreement, and then take it to an attorney to get it filed through the courts. I told him if I don't hear from him, or if we can't come to an agreement by next week, then I will file on my own.

Since the attorney is a friend of H's family, I asked my BIL how he felt about me using him. He said he hoped H and I could reconcile, but he understood that I had to protect myself. He said "He's a good attorney, so I hope H decides to collobarate w/ you instead of fight you on anything because he won't win."

Hello Wife,
I hope things are a little better.
I see you doing just what I did,
Gettin attitude, wanting to show him you mean business, but inside you are dieing, it's killin you to make all these calls. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
You will get mad, then cry, you will have so many emotions, just please keep writing to your friends here, they are the best, and your best friends at this point.
Just remember you can cry, you will get relief from it.
If you can write him one of those letters, that would be great, I went to that page and read them too,, there's some good ones in there, wish I found them 3 years ago, I really needed them too.

Only thing, by not seeing him, it's hurting you the worst, it really is, as you will miss him soo much. But in the end he will see what he's loosing faster this way, the sooner your away from him, the sooner he will realize your are number 1, you know you are, he didnt just stop loving you, ya know.
Trust me he thinks of you all the time, but he has this little SL*T that wants to continue the hell she and he has brought upon you some time ago.
This is kinda why I dont want contact with OC, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> it would only mean contact with the OW, in my case Im scared I mean if he done it once, he will do it again, shoot I dont need another OC <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I guess I have to learn to trust, but lookin and watching what you are going through. No way.
You hang in there, and as hard as it is, Try to keep him guessing what you are doing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I will be thinkin about you.