XOW called last night to gel up plans with my H to pick up OC Weds from school. OC talked with my H a little before the call ended. Five minutes later, XOW called back and said OC was very upset and wanted to talk to daddy.

OC was upset because she wanted to come to our house right then and not wait until Weds. H told OC that she could come over whenever she wanted, it just has to be okay with her mommy. OC started to cry, so H asked if she wanted him to ask mommy. OC said yes. H asked XOW if OC could come right then, because that is what OC wanted. XOW played dumb at first, saying that she couldn't understand what OC was saying (OC is four and speaks very well for her age). But my H insisted that's what OC was saying. When XOW said "I'll bring her over tonight, then" my H heard OC in the background shouting "hooray, hooray!!".

So, XOW brought OC to our house yesterday to spend the night, and we get to keep her overnight tonight, too! I think XOW was upset about it, she looked pretty stressed. But, OC is so happy!!

OC again came to our house in clothes that are too small. Should a four yr. old be wearing a midrift t-shirt (too small) in winter? I think not, but we'll just keep sending her home in new clothes until XOW runs out of too small clothes to put her in! Since XOW only sends her to us in ratty, old clothes....she shouldn't mind getting a new wardrobe a little at a time, right?

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. This is a lot more difficult than I had anticipated. But, we're determined....

I hope we're doing the right thing....ya, know - contact, I mean. I hope that in the end it is, as we believe, the best thing for OC.

You know, I'm glad she listened to what OC wanted. H and I have discussed a custody agreement to take to the lawyer. In the agreement he started in on the every other holiday etc... I said OK, that's standard, and we can write that, but our families have always worked around each other. My mom has X-mas in the a.m. and his in the p.m. I told him why can't we work together so that our child can spend the holidays w/ both families. He agreed. If it doesn't work, we can always fall back to the agreement.

AVNL,

I hopr that contact gets easier for you in time, eventhough I must say I don't see that in the near future. I don't remember ever asking, nor do I see it in your signature line, but you and H have any kids of your own (together)?

If not I am sure that is even harder for you to stomach. i am continually praying for you and wishing you all the best. Ow is doing the clothes thing on purpose, however I think I'd buy her clothes to keep at your home and send her home to OW in the clothes that she brought her in ( too small clothes). She maybe doing on purpose to keep the clothes coming. I don't mean let OC suffer, but why don't you keep your good clothes at home with you. I am sure OW is not letting her go out with too small clothes when she's at home with her!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> So why give her your clothes, plus if you are going to have contact then you'll need your own stash at your home for her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

She'll never need to send her anything, just bring her and drop her off.

Just a thought - it works I do that with my kids family members who have them a lot. They are supplied with their own stash of clothes, toys, bedding, tubs, car seats, etc. So when I need them to keep the kids I just drop them off and don't worry about the rest.

It works well - even between my H and I.

W2E <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 11:15 AM: Message edited by: Waiting 2 Exhale ]</small>