Hi there everyone,

I am curious to see how many of the WH's went to the birth of the OC? Mine didn't. I'm not sure why I'm asking but I'm curious. If they did go, did you want them there? How did you feel if they did?

In my situation OW's H was there because she was pretending that the OC was his. She didn't waste a second, however, getting on the horn to my H when her H left the hospital to go home and take a shower and rest. My H was right up there. Of course at that time my H played it off to me that OW's friend called him to give him specs of the birth of OC and that he didn't go to the hospital, but those nasty little things called camera cell phones begged to differ with me because the idiot took pics at the hospital and I found them as I was snooping on his phone. (Guess H didn't think I was smart enough to figure out how to search through his phone...he underestimates me!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Michelle,

What a stupid thing to try and lie about especially when he had a CAMERA PHONE!!! OMGoodness!!! Why do men think that us women don't know anything? Its quite silly.

I'm interested to hear what people say about this also.

I told my H I didn't want them up there for the birth and that IF we went to hospital to see baby, we would go together. I want US to bond over this baby, not her and him. That is such a special moment I can't imagine him having it w/her.

Hopefully, we won't even have to go to the hospital as we have a big family reunion at the beach from 8 days before and 1 day after her Due date. I'm hoping the good Lord is kind to me and she has it while we're out of town.

I imagine if that is the case, we will go to her house as soon as we get back and see the baby together. I'd rather her not be around at all, but obviously, I don't see her letting us take her newborn away from her for a minute in the beginning.

My H told OW he wasn't going to be there at the birth about 4 weeks before she went in. She thought he was kidding so the night she went into the hospital, she called every 2 mins saying, WE NEED TO GO. She didn't believe he wouldn't be there but maybe it bursted her bubble a little more to know where she stands in his life. Although I ADORE the OC (we get him tomorrow night for the FIRST overnight), I wouldn't have wanted him there because they shouldn't have shared that together, so I'm happy he chose not to go.

No.

I don't think any man should be at the birth if he's not married to (or with exclusively)that woman. Birth is a very intimate thing.

My response to this, in a nut shell, is...

If H had even mentioned or thought he had any desire, any right or reason to be at the BIRTH....

The OC's birthday AND H's death would coincidentally be on the SAME DAY.

A H being at the birth of an OC -- does NOTHING for the parent/child R in the scheme of things. That is to support the OW, PERIOD. There is no way a HUSBAND should be viewing another woman's vagina or birth for ANY reason unless he is a DOCTOR or HIS WIFE'S.

I feel that any man who even TRIES or argues to go to OW's side during birth is not fully getting what he has caused to the W----- that would be soooo selfish and just plain mean to even ask the BW this!!!!!!

Of course I found out after the fact but I would have been beyond pissed if he had gone to the hospital.
My "friend" (NOT) who was also friends with OW called and told H when the baby was born. H said all he asked was everyone healthy. And then she asked if he was coming to the hospital. H said NO! OW was constantly bugging H to go Doc appt. and the birth. H always said no way.
It killed OW that he went with me to ALL doc appts and of course was with me when I was being induced for TWO days <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> !!

Edit to say:
H's should NOT go to the birthing of OC. That is an emotional bonding for male and female! Going to Hosp after OC is born and hopefully w/ W should be done if C is choosen. The OW should not be seen and not considered, the father HAS RIGHTS too, even though OW don't believe it.

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: Gwenieinabottle ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The OC's birthday AND H's death would coincidentally be on the SAME DAY </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Gio - You crack me up, girl!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My H did not go the the hospital for the birth. I told him there's no way I would ever allow it. He did go AFTER the birth and ended up getting in a huge fight with XOW and her parents over whether or not OC would be exposed to ME. H said yes, XOW said NO WAY! Ha, ha.....OC loves me to death!!

I was out of town when XOW went into labor, my H called me immediately after he found out and assured me he wouldn't be going until after the baby was born.

When my H and I had our first baby, it was a very emotional and intimate thing, I can't imagine allowing my H to share that with XOW. Although I think it was important for my H to bond with baby soon after birth, there's no reason for him to be present during the birth. XOW didn't put up a fuss, at the time she swore she hated him.

No. He did not see OC until the DNA tests came back. There really was no reason for him to be there until he knew for sure OC was him.

My H was there, although not in the delivery room. I did not think he should have been there either. We did fight about it constantly. OW resents him now, for not being involved, of course that didn't keep her from taking him back after the birth!

No reason whatsoever any H should be at birth of OC, not if he cares about and respects his W and the health of his M that is, (and according to Gio, his own health as well--good one Gio--AS usual! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) .

It's an intimate moment between a man and woman, not between the man and the baby, not that I don't believe in paternal bonding. The paternal bonding can take place later though. Baby will never-ever know the difference, and will never-ever be scarred for life, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> or whatever it is OW thinks will happen to the baby and try to convince the MM of.

In most of these cases, unless proven already through amnio, these men DON'T even know if these babies are THEIRS at the time of birth!!!! It's just one more thing a judge could throw at you saying YOU the man showed acknowledgement of paternity.

I say stay away from the hospital. You probably already got that, huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My H was not only present at the birth & shared the joyous experience of his only child being born - he was also living with OW b4 & after the birth. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Of course I was livid but what could I do, except what I finally did - get a divorce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I do pray all of your M's are healed & restored.

NMD, if my H had been in the delivery room with OW and OC's being born, I would have also divorced H.

Fortunetely, I am still married, and still working on it.

ember

No my H was not at the birth. He had already committed to me and our marriage, so there was no way I would allow that to happen! She lived out of town, so that was easier. However, I know he did tell her he would be there and only backed out at the last minute. We were on a family vacation when OC was born with very little cell phone coverage.....so it was hard for her to contact him.

If he had insisted on being at the birth and bonding with OW and OC through that experience, we would not be together today! That was his choice in the end.

H was not at the birth. He didn't see Oc till the child was 9 months old.

With me, H was by my side for the birth of both. The first Oc, Xmm came to the hospital the next day. I got a lot of threats, his W showed up, they had a fight in the hall, she left, more threats from Xmm and he left.

Unfortunately, my FWH was at the birth of the OC. I had no idea about the A, OW or OC at that time. My H has since told me that he was going to leave the hospital before the baby was born because it was getting late in the evening and he was afriad that I would be suspicious. The OW's OB told him that he was not going to miss the birth of his son for any reason. Luck was on his side and the OW had to have a C section so he made it home to me on time.

The kicker to the whole day was that I was in a bad car accident earlier the same day. My car was hit by a truck, and I flipped over several times. I broke 6 bones and was sent home in a few hours from the ER. My H left my bedside (pretending that he had an emergency he's a MD) so that I had to manage through my pain and still take care of my two little ones. For that I will NEVER be able to forgive him. He left me, in horrible pain, to be with the OW while she had the OC.

I found out about the A 9 months later. I also found out that the day after the OC was born my FWH got the OW an engagement ring and they celebrated their new future together while I was imobile and in serious pain, alone at home.

The cruelty of the A is astounding. The pain is endless.

Fortunately, my H did not have the option to be at the delivery. The OW did not call him until after the baby was born. However, he did go see her at the hospital that day. That was hard enough to handle.

I think if he was given the opportunity to go - he would have been there. We had discussed this prior to, but since we were separated (his choice), I didn't feel like I could demand that he couldn't be there. If he had gone, I am not real sure how I would have reacted. I think though that I would have stopped fighting for my M and moved on. Thank God, it never happened and we are now slowly moving towards recovery!

God Bless,
Kris

I didn't know at that time that OW was pregnant. He didn't told me until the baby was 5/6 weeks old and mainly because she kept telling him that she was not going to allow him to treat OC as his dirty little secret ... her words, not mine ...
H was living with her at that time but spending all his free time at home with me and DD ...
He was not with her when OC was born, he was with us ... confirmed by a letter she wrote him about that and how he didn't love OC as much as he loves DD ... how he went with me to all my Dr's appointments and none with her ... and how he was all my 32 hours after my water broke until I had DD with me in the hospital and he wasn't even there with her ...
Shouldn't that said something to her about their relationship??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />