Hi,

Today is my day off and I'm sick as a dog so I have the computer to keep me company! FUN! Anyways, I have another question for all those with OCs. What are the boundries for the OW's in regards to talking to H about what the OC does? I feel like she is always calling him to tell him the STUPIDEST things. Like she will text him he smiled or he this or he that. It seems like more then 4 or 5 times a day. Today she texted him that the OC found his "part." He's 4 weeks old? So what do you feel is enough or is OW being overly crazy?

I think ya'll should try to limit contact. From everything that I have been through I realize that the WS should not be allowed any access to the other person.

well, now that ow gets back to work friday, we have him everyday starting friday so contact will be hard. but i don't understand why she can't get move on with everything. I mean, I can't wait till she finds out I'm pregnant because I think things will change a lot. As for my H, he never picks up and lets it go right to voicemail.

Hurt~

You know the saying, Give an inch they'll take a mile, (or something like that)? Her boundries are exactly where you allow them to be. Sit down with your H, and as a team discuss what you will and will not allow in your life from OW. There is absolutely no reason for her to text everytime he smiles, poops, grunts, burps, picks a booger, whatever <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> , BUT she WILL continue to do so, as long as you all don't put a stop to it now! If you're going to have contact with the baby, trust me, you'll get to see lots of smiles and lots of booger pickin' too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> You don't need a play by play when he's not with you.

Make your decisions as a couple then let her know under which circumstances she may contact you, and IMHO it should be through a third party if at all possible. If not it should be via whatever method the TWO of you decide, like email or phoning only you... Furthermore, in my estimation it should only be in case of emergency, (you'll likely have to define emergency for her too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). If there is a contact agreement, it should be a rare instance where she even has to get in touch with you all about the visits, (define this too).

Be crystal clear with her and her attorney about what is an intrusion in your life, and what is not.

Sheesh, GMAB...she texts when he smiles??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ...that's what wives do with H's. You don't have to take that crap. I'm glad your H doesn't respond, that's a good start, but you all shouldn't even have to hear her voice or see her words unless and except they are within YOURS as a COUPLE'S BOUNDRIES!!!

Also a word of caution, don't be so sure she'll change when she finds out about your P. If anything she'll change for the worse. I've seen that happen all too often on here. Look at Wife30 for one.

Hope you feel better real soon!

Kindest regards,
~ad

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: Autumn Day ]</small>

thanks AD,

As for her changing when she finds out I'm pregnant, I meant for the worst as well. I know she will be like, WELL, he didn't tell me a long time ago she was pregnant and she's having a boy as well so does this mean the new baby will replace the OC? SO I can ONLY imagine how she is going to turn into a freakin' raging pissed off OW. I'm preparing for it and telling my H to expect that!!! *sigh*
I am feeling a little better. I called my doctor and asked if I could take ANYTHING and he said Tylenol Flu. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to finally get some relief. I'm about to go out and shop for OC since he will be over here tomorrow night. Our boss is also taking all of us out to dinner tonight so we are all meeting at six at a place I've never been too before but everyone says its great (Bugaboo Creek). She always orders tons and the bill is never below 300$ for eight of us. So I'm looking forward to that.

Oooooooh~~free food! That's always a GOOD thing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> The name of the restaurant sounds fun too. Hope you have a great time!

Enjoy your time with the baby as well!

Funny you should ask that question cause it came up with a co-worker yesterday.

At first OW called everytime the baby farted. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> But by the time we found out about OC and had paternity done, OC was already 6 mos. old. HELLO!! So it was kind of silly for her to call. It only lasted about a month because H got tired of it. I did too but it was mainly H.

H has to deal with OW. Not me!! It's his "punishment". I guess I was lucky. H was never in love with her. H hates calling her because she "prattles" on and on and on and on........ about anything and everything. Believe me....My H is NOT a phone person. Never was. So when he complains about her talking about her personal life, I get to just laugh because I know how much it bugs HIM not ME.

ent

ent,

yeah, my h admits that OW is a complete retard. Everytime he talks about her you can see the hatred. He can't stand talking to her and when he does talk to her, he is very short. He comes in all the time and tells me how he jumped down her throat about something she did with the baby. He doesn't want her coming off of maternity leave because he has to deal with her EVERYDAY. Well, bud, that's your punishment!