I know you said you were pregnant on D-day. Can you please tell me a little about your story and what happened?

Well, I technically wasn't pg on D-Day, OW was. Here's the story...OW and OWH were great friends with me and H. The four of us along w/one other couple vacationed in the mountains of Tennessee Labor Day weekend, 2003. D-Day happened while we were there. Unbeknownst to me and OWH, OW was pg at that time. When discovery happened, my H and OW left (in my car no doubt) to make the drive back to IN from TN. They thought that they were going to drive off in the sunset I guess. Upon them returning to IN (they were several hours ahead of us because they had left late in the evening and OWH and myself were in such shock that it took several hours for us to regain our composure enough to pack up the cabin we were in to leave) OW took a pg test and it was positive. Long story short with this, she ended up aborting that one. There were many false promises of breakup over the next several months and of course I believed every word. I had discontinued taking BC pills because they were affecting my blood circulation to the point that my toes were constantly blue. Anyway, not thinking that I could actually get pg after one month of no BC pills after taking them for 12 years, I ended up pg in November 2003. Definitely wasn't a planned thing. H and I have 2 kids, the youngest being 12 and we had discussed more kids when the youngest was 6 but decided at that time that the age span would be too great. Ha! Anyway, the A was still going strong. H would lie to me, I'd believe him half the time, blah blah blah. OWH and I caught OW and H together one night (her cell phone called her H's cell phone by mistake and her H heard my H in the background so we knew they were together). Well I proceeded to pack my H's things in lovely trash bag luggage and threw it outside on our front porch and I called OW's cell and left a message to tell my H that his sh*t was on the front porch for him to come and get it. It was that night that H got OW pg for the second time. I truly believe SHE did it on purpose. Of course I hear H's justification that I had kicked him out so he thought it was over between us..whatever. She's never used BC, but her and her H practiced rhythm method and had managed to plan all 3 of their pregnancies with no slip ups. How ironic it is that she managed to get pg twice by my H in the period of 3 months. Anyway, my H and I went through several periods of false recovery throughout my pg. I remember how horrible it was for me. I had this huge belly sticking out and would just be crying so hard that the whole thing would jiggle. I can literally say this whole thing (from start until even now) has been the worse thing in my entire life to go through, including the loss of my father to a tragic accident when I was young. My DD was born on 8/1/04 and the OC was born on 8/25/04. The A continued even after babies were born, and I THINK finally ended as of 12/04. I don't trust H, I don't believe H, and I don't give H any benefit of the doubt. He doesn't deserve it. He lied to cover up lies and would confess only to go right back to doing it again, with no regard to my feelings or to the feelings of anyone else but himself and his b*tch girlfriend. Anyway, we are in recovery again. There will be no more times. He slips up again and it's over for good and he knows that. I will not go through anything like this again. I've been to Hell and it's not pretty!!

It is such a draining experience. H told OW he lied all through our marriage counseling, which obviously he did, or this would have come out. It just seems like everything is such a mess. H really feels he wants to be w/ OW. He's moved out, and she hasn't taken him yet. I have a feeling that's coming because she tells him she doesn't want to be involved w/ him during my pregnancy and then continues to call. I have to look at my future like I am on my own because that is how I feel now. The pregnancy definitely makes it more difficult because for whatever reason I have a strong desire to have a family for my baby. We are not talking reconcilliaton, and have only discussed divorce, although it can't be final until after the baby. I just wonder how my life became so messed up.

So sorry for you. My H battled between the two of us too, even though OW had a H and there were a total of 7 children involved. (Our 3, their 3, and OC) I can't even imagine what goes on in their minds. I truly believe that your H will come to his senses. It's just a matter for you if you're willing to put up with it and then willing to pick up the pieces when he shatters. I'm sure he's still stuck in la-la land with her, know what I mean? But we all know that won't last. The reality of life will set in. It won't be all fun and games anymore. Not to mention he hasn't made amends with Wife. He's jumping from one relationship to another and taking that baggage along with him. It's unfortunate that he doesn't see that because he will fall on his a**. Hang in there, honey. Your life will not crumble because of a man!!! Don't let it!!! Take care of yourself and if you need anything, you let me know.

Wife30,

Just wanted to let you know that your husband is not the only who lied during marriage counseling. He had several affairs throughout the first 10 years of our marriage. I was none the wiser except for one. She died in the middle of the affair. So we started marriage counseling. To put back our marriage and for him to work through his grief.

Fast forward several years later.....He admits he lied during the marriage counseling. I was so po'ed!!!! I couldn't believe someone would PAY someone to listen to them lie. HELLO DIPSH*T!!

I just wanted you to know you are not the only one. Sometimes I think the most important thing we do for each other here is let the others know that you aren't the only one this is happened to.

take care,
ent

I think lying during MC is a given for WS's. Mine lied too.

Why is it that they lie during counseling??? How can you lie to a pastor? I mean really, that is what mine did and when he didn't like what was said (no contact) he didn't agree and at that point this was not the only thing he didn't agree about (church, etc...) I believe whether you see a pastor or a MC, the basic things said are all the same... I still go to church regularly and make sure my kids go too. They always ask "why doesn't daddy go to church with us...?" My response, I don't know. They know the real deal.