Did any of you have a hard time writing a Plan B letter? I am having a hard time w/ it for more than one reason. One being that, even though I love H, and know if my heart I probably would give him another chance if he asked- he hasn't asked. I can't bring myself to let him know that I would be willing to give it another try. I feel I have tried so much in this marriage and it has all been one big lie.

I am also hesitant to have him leave completely because I feel like I need help w/ some things. We have in no way discussed reconcilliation. We've discussed eveything for a divorce.

Since we can not divorce until after this baby, I really feel trapped. Like I can't move on with my life. I am in a state of depression where I can't even get force myself to get out and be around family and friends because I don't want to talk to them about the situation. I can't seem to stop crying, so that's another reason I don't want to be around too many people. I feel the need to ask H all these questions about the A, and I know I don't want to hear the answers, but I still ask.

He thinks he's in love w/ her. I can tell he's very confused right now, and it's an awful situation.

I know all of this is more difficult because I am pregnant. Never did I expect to be a single mom from day one, and we are trying to be sure everything is ready.

I am torn between asking him for no contact, and allowing him to be here to help w/ things until the baby is born. Some days I think it is easier to have him here, and others I'm not so sure.

OW doesn't seem to want him either at this point, although they can't seem to stop contacting each other.

I am very confused, and not sure how to proceed. I don't feel I am usually such a vulnerable person, but I sure feel that way now.

Wife,
I don't think you are ready for Plan B <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Like you I let xH take care of things at home since he left (a little more of a year now) ... he still cleans, take the trash out, fix things as needed, helps me a lot with DD ... hey, he is the one that bathes her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ... I've never tell him not to do those things ... he probably does them out of guilt ... and I like to think of him as my personal handyman ...

Now, I didn't find about MB until after he told me about OC ... by that time we were already divorced ... I never did Plan A ... I tried to do Plan B on December ... wrote him a letter, gave the letter to him ... and those were three very difficult weeks for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ...
Never do Plan B without a strong Plan A ...
So I made the decision to not do Plan B ...

When you are ready to do Plan B, you will know ...
I know, it is easier said than done ... but try to focus on you and your baby and your pregnancy ...

One of the things I told xH that might help you was that if I was not his best friend anymore I didn't need to hear about his problems with OW or about OW's life ... everytime he started saying something ... I would literally showed him 'the hand' and told him 'not interested' ...
those things will hurt you more ...
OW is full of lies and she is pressuring him ... she is saying that she's not interested in him ... but that's her way to pressure him on leaving you once and for all ... don't listen to her words, they will confuse you more ... they don't make sense .... she wants to hurt you ...

Head high, chin up ...
touch your belly ... there is your reason to live ...

Just wanted to say....I LOVE YOUR TAG LINE!!

ent

wife30, you may want to post on GQ2 to get some opinions on plan b. Ask some of the experts for some help on if you are ready or not. It sounds like you are jumping from plan A (are you in plan A?) to plan D. Sorry for all you are going through, especially during this special time in your life. Enjoy the pregnancy as much as you can.