What are the chances of STBXH getting joint custody if he tries to fight me on it? I mean joint like 1/2 week w/ me and 1/2 week w/ him, not the visitation every other weekend thing.

At first he can't. The baby is too small. It's like with any other child custody thing. They whats in the best interest of the child. You may have to let him come over a lot to see the child with you there and then start handing the baby over for a few hours a week then from there. I did not legally have to let my girls spend the night with stbxh until they turned 3.

I figured that to be the case. I know the courts here would allow him to have this baby much sooner than 3 for overnight visits. We've come up w/an a agreement that once the baby starts daycare he could take it for a few hours at a time. At 2-3 months he could take the baby overnight. I do believe he will be a good father. Now he is thinking he wants a joint custody agreement. He says he does not want to excercise this, but wants me to have the baby the majority of the time. I do believe he is not the kind of person that would make the child's life miserable, I just don't know if this is something I am willing to agree to. We are trying to keep things friendly w/o to much fighting/lawyer bills. He lives close to me. We want to have the type of relationship that if I need a babysitter I can call him and offer it to him first. After watching OW deny custody for so long, I know that is not the type of person I want to be.

Wife30, are you doing okay? I've been thinking about you and praying for you and your lil bundle o' joy.

I am doing OK. I really think H wants to be w/ OW- although she doesn't want to be w/ him until after I have my baby. As much as I wanted my marriage to work, I don't see me being able to forgive all of this that he has done. I have looked over my journal and it all makes sense. All the doubts, etc... I have put so much work into this marriage and do not feel that H has done the same, and I don't see him willing to do that anytime soon. I am feeling stronger all the time. I get lonely, and depressed. H and I are trying to come to some agreements as far as the divorce goes. I would really like this to be amicable and for us to be able to get along for the sake of this child. I don't want to have all the fighting I see so often. Today is a good day, I haven't cried at all!

No chance in he11, Wife30.

He'd have to prove that you are seriously unfit.

Children go with Mommy unless they give up custody or they are found by a court of law to be unfit.


You and your baby will be just fine!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:
<strong> No chance in he11, Wife30.

He'd have to prove that you are seriously unfit.

Children go with Mommy unless they give up custody or they are found by a court of law to be unfit.


</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Double standard. A father is just as capable of being a good parent as a mother, and in many case (like mine, better. I went for and got full custody. Ex W gets em two weekends a month.

Yes, fathers can fight for custody, but Wife30 is still pregnant so we're talking about an infant in this situation.
No court is going to take a newborn from a mother unless the mother is unfit.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MichaelinDallas:
<strong> [QUOTE] A father is just as capable of being a good parent as a mother </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Agreed!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I know quite a few fathers who have custody of there kids. Her question was different than if a father is fit. I know these dada are very good fathers and outbet the mother 100%. I think wife30 is a fit mother and with what I've heard is a heck of a lot more stable than her husband at this point.

Wife30,


I am one of those dads who has full custody of a child and I am not even the childs bio. dad. My EXW had an A which produced my beautiful son. How I got custody is because the mom is VERY unfit.

Chances are slim to none that joint custody would be granted at this time. Maybe when the child gets older and your STBX is more stable but at this point don't worry and enjoy the little life that is growing within you.

God Bless and take care.

I talked to my lawyer and he said judges in this state can not give 50/50 custody. That would have to be something that both of us would agree to. They do the every other weekend visitation. As far as H getting full custody, I don't think he would ever ask for that, he's even said he knows I will be a good mother. I don't think anyone could ever say that he would be the better parent. I don't think that is an issue. We have decided to go w/ joint custody w/ him having visitation every other weekend.