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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Pregnancy/Child How accurate are looks?

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How accurate are looks? #841366 02/25/05 01:00 AM
Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 376 C Cyn1018 Member
Cyn1018 Member C Joined: Mar 2004 Posts: 376	Some say OC looks just like H and others say she doesn't. Without a definite confirmation how can one be truly sure? Sometimes I think she does look like some pictures I have of H and other times I don't see it. So my question is, can you really know without proof? When I babysat, the little girl I sat for looked just like me and everyone thought she was my real daughter. Is is possible for others to see the resembulance because they want to and need to? H believes without a doubt OC is his. He won't even consider a DNA test. I think the reason is if she wasn't he'd look like a fool. My reasoning, if you are so convinced then why not have the proof so others have no questions.

Re: How accurate are looks? #841367 02/25/05 01:07 AM
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 215 C colddayinJuly Member
colddayinJuly Member C Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 215	Our OC isn't here yet, but H is sure it's his. So I feel sure also. BUT, in a situation like this, there should be a P test. Tell your H you want one and that should be the end of it. Recovery means doing what your BS needs. Sounds like you need this. You can't tell by looks. Sometimes it's obvious as the child grows, sometimes it's not. I would get one so YOU can maove past this question.

Re: How accurate are looks? #841368 02/25/05 01:19 AM
Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 164 M Michele Hall Member
Michele Hall Member M Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 164	Definitely have DNA test done. OW's H tried to tell me after OC was born that OC looked just like their son...ha....just got test results a few weeks ago and OC is my H's. (Personally though, I could tell OC was my H's the minute I laid eyes on him) I think people can drum up in their head that the child looks like whomever they WISH it to look like, which I believe was the case with OW's H because he sooo wanted to be the bio dad. But anyway, I'd definitely do the test 'cuz you never know for sure until you have proof in hand.

Re: How accurate are looks? #841369 02/24/05 02:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 217 M Mily Member
Mily Member M Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 217	Is OW married? If she is, then DNA test. In my case, OW is divorced and the little fella looks so much like xH ... and there is one picture of OC and DD that they definite look like brother and sister <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Re: How accurate are looks? #841370 02/24/05 04:09 PM
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 908 N needtomoveon Member
needtomoveon Member N Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 908	It's been my experience from all my kids that they changed almost daily. The twins looked like there dad when they were born....then they started looking like one me, and the other him. Just like us....then as time went on, they turned oppisite and the one that looked like me resembles him more, and the one that we called Mini me (after stbxh) looks just like me except for her eye shape and hair color. Now oc.......well from the day she was born looked just like xmm. He has strong genes though. He's 1/2 Asisan and so she is 1/4 but she looks more Asisan then not. She is starting to have different looks with expressions and all like the twins, but she is difently her father's daughter. but with all my nieces and nephews and friends kids, they change so much as they grow.

Re: How accurate are looks? #841371 02/24/05 06:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 88 T Tylorsstepmom Member
Tylorsstepmom Member T Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 88	My stepson and one of my daughters are 8 months apart. They look almost identical. The difference being his hair is a shorter than hers. People seeing their pictures next to each other think they are twins. They are both really finicky as well. (they get that from my MIL) they look like my H. They think it is cool. <small>[ February 24, 2005, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Tylorsstepmom ]</small>

Re: How accurate are looks? #841372 02/24/05 07:54 PM
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 411 C Crazymum Member
Crazymum Member C Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 411	With my youngest, there is no doubt who his bio dad is. He looks just like Xmm it is SCAREY!!!!! We have already had people question why he doesn't look like his dad (H)

Re: How accurate are looks? #841373 02/24/05 09:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,536 K ktbunch Member
ktbunch Member K Joined: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,536	I think people DO see what they want. H never had DNA done on OC. But he claimed OC as his in court.... There were some baby pics where she looked like H.(??????) Her hair is EXACTLY like my youngest SIL NOTHING like OW. OC mostly looks like OW though. But H & OW are the same ethnicity so it could be deceiving. (both dark w/ dark hair) H said he KNEW/KNOWS OC was/is his though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Whatever. Although it legally cannot be changed now.....I still have my doubts. (the way OC was conceived is a bit sketchy IMO) Maybe that is just my wishful thinking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> kt <small>[ February 24, 2005, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>

Re: How accurate are looks? #841374 02/24/05 11:01 PM
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 411 C Crazymum Member
Crazymum Member C Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 411	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> There were some baby pics where she looked like H.(??????) Her hair is EXACTLY like my youngest SIL NOTHING like OW. OC mostly looks like OW though. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">H never had a DNA with his OC. But you can tell. When we were dealing with CPS last year the lady asked if he ever had a test. She took a good look at H and said " he looks just like you" Oc even does the same thing with his tounge H and my son does.

Re: How accurate are looks? #841375 02/24/05 11:05 PM
Joined: Mar 1999 Posts: 2,430 J Jenny Member
Jenny Member J Joined: Mar 1999 Posts: 2,430	Of COURSE looks can be deceiving, esp. when emotions are SO high!! And a child's look CAN change over time. How DNA manifests in look has always fascinated me, but I wouldn't rely on it alone in cases like this! (BTW our OC looks just like her mother and the sibs shes lives with, but DNA says my H.)

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