I know this must sound selfish but I hate this OW more then anything in the world even more now that I know she is preg. I can't help but also feel hate for the unborn child and wish she would miscarry so bad. I hate that I feel this way because I know the OC is not at fault in anything, but knowing my son might have a half sibling that is hers just kills me. I've gotten to the point where I wish everyday that she miscarries she is just 18 with a 2 yr old and another one the way. My H is sooo irrisponsible I just hate what he has done.H does not want me to find out OW is preg little does he know I know, he hasn't seen my son in a yr and he's bringing more kids into this world. I wish I didn't feel such hated for this poor OC I know he is not at fault but I can't help it, does anyone else feel this way?? don't bash me for my honesty..

(((Destiny)))

I think your feelings are only normal when you first find out. It will be a roller coaster ride.

Prayers are with you

I'm sorry you have to go through this I found out about oc after he was here, so I can't say I had the same experience. I will say that I did for a time hate the ow. I was really furious and enraged w/ hate for her and my Husband. "How dare they!!" But what I've come to realize is no matter how much I may dislike ow she isn't the one who made a commitment to me. This will be very much like a roller coaster. You'll have ups and downs but no matter what realize that you'll survive. Take care

Destiny,

Realize the OW is barely a child herself in your case, so she wont act responsibly. It is probably her way of trying to hold on to your husband or get attention from him.

I had your same feelings in the beginning mainly because my own husband would say I wish she would just die and that [censored] too. Well I kinda jumped on the band wagon till i stopped and realized he was just trying to put all the blame on the OW and the child. I felt your pain and hatred for a long time. So I would never bash you for your feelings. I think it is a coping mechanism.
I really dont have any feelings about the OC right now, I could care less one way or another. Probably because my H has no contact and refuses to acknowledge it's existence.
The psycho OW who is in her 30s is another story I really cant stand her at all. She lies and tries to interfer in my life till this day.
So if i heard something bad happened to her then I would not feel bad at all probably relief that the stalking and harassment may stop.

So you have my support for all your feelings, because as time goes on they will change, you will see. We all go through the cycle of craziness you never know what you will feel the next day. So if you feel hate right now go with it. But I guarantee it will change eventually, hopefully to indifference.

Destiny, I remember wishing the OW would miscarry and one day I actually prayed she would. That night my H came home and told me she went to the doctor's because she was having really bad double-over cramps. Everything turned out fine. Do I think Im that powerful...no, but I never did that again. I wouldn't want that guilt. I'm sure God has a plan and must want her to have this baby (she's 29 weeks along now),I'm just anxious to see where I fit in to all of this.

It's normal, but, yes, she is young and probably hasn't a clue, so in time you can chalk it up to stupidity and move on. It will get better, slowly, but it will.

Hello,
Your feelings are normal, it's been 3 years and my oc is 2 now,, I still hate the ow. BADLY
It will be up and down, really depending on how bad your hubby treats you.
Mine left me for 3 months for the ow, and boy I really hate them both. I took him back, but im still really mad at both of them, and yes she had a baby to try to hold on to my hubby.
she had a abortion in Feb, conceived hubbys child in april, and all of a sudden wanted a child, so she kept the baby,, I know she really didnt want the oc, she wanted my hubby.
6mo's after she had OC, she had went to go get fixed,,, oPPS,, she's pregnant again,,, and again went and got another abortion,, this came from her own mothers mouth,, so I can tell she didnt really want kids,, just my hubby.
You have a hard road ahead.
but you have come to the best place,,,,,,,
Hang in there, and the feelings you have,, I still have them.
good luck.
PS are you still with hubby??

Destiny, when my XW became pregnant by another man I actually hated all 3 of them but after my son was born the hate turned to love. I have adopted my son. The bio dad gave up his rights so I could. My XW does not see my son ( long story ). By all accounts my current W is his mom.

You may always feel hate for your H and the OW but hopefully your hate will turn into love for the other child. It will take time but what you are feeling now is normal.

God Bless

Destiny

I know exactly how you feel. I have wished the same things and feel bad about it. And OW did have a miscarriage, but I found out later that she was PG with twins and only lost one. I have also wished she would get run over by a bus. I feel like an awful person for the thought, but I don't think any of us really take those thoughts seriously. It is just wishful thinking, part of us wanting it to all disapear. I will tell you that the thoughts become less and less over time. I think I have finally acepted the fact that this child is going to be here and there is nothing I can do about it. The OC are the only innocent people in these huge messes. I am not going to say that I would be heartbroken if OW does lose this child, sometimes I think it would be the best for all parties involved. But I have no control over such matters and who ever does must have some plan for all of this. You never have to like the OW, but if you plan on staying in the picture you will have to tolerate her. It is not easy trust me!

destiny,

Your feeling are more than normal, & u will go thru many stages of hate, anger, the whole nine. When I found out I hated them both, never hated unborn OC but wanted her to go away & I wished for OW to miscarry, not proud of that but I did. I knew this baby would ruin my M & it did. But thats my story.

I pray u find help & comfort to deal with your feelings. If u believe in the power of prayer - pray & ask God to help u thru this time. He will do it.

I am praying for u.

Destiny,

Like everyone says, your feelings are normal. But what I can tell you is, it gets better. My H cheated on me and an OC was the result. He was born Jan 7th. I am typing you with the OC laying on a pillow next to my side. He is sound asleep (7 weeks old) and I adore him more then anything. I was where you were at and I would post things like I wish the OW would get hurt and awful awful things. The day the baby was born, I was a mess. HOW COULD MY H???????? But the first time I met the OC, I cried. I looked at his face and all my hurt and anger for him melted. Yes, it was PAINFUL to see him!!!!! I just wanted to run away and hide. I wanted to give up and leave because I didn't know how I was going to handle it all. I didn't know if I could do it (sidenote: I am pregnant too with my first little one) I thought, this isn't fair to my unborn son!! But over the last few weeks, I have seen the OW in action. I've seen how stupid (only MY H's XOW, NOT ANY OTHER IN A DIFFERENT SITUATION SO NO ONE GETS ANGRY) she is and because she has been a mother for 7 weeks she KNOWS everything! Um....no!
You will go through SO many emotions. Are you planning Contact or what is happening? But I can tell you, that you will come to a place in your life that it will be ok. Our oc (a boy) is a spitting image of my H. I look at him and see my H 100%. I think of ow because you can't help not too but when OC is around, I am so happy he is here. Oh, he just lifted his head up a little (milestone!!!!!) Trust me, like I said, it gets better and I'm sure you feel guilty for thinking that way but I went through it too. But I couldn't have asked for a more precious child as the one that lays silently sleeping next to me, who depends on me and doesn't know anything wrong! It know it sounds silly and you can tell me that I'm being that way! Good LUCK!!!