Well Ladies it is finally clear that I have had a miscarriage.. I am just glad that they figured it out. Dr. said i dont have to wait I can keep trying they just dont know when Ill get pregnant again, my body is going through a rollercoaster ride rightnow. She says if I dont get my period in 8weeks then come back for another pregnancy test.

So heres a good one.

Last night H gets a call from his aunt saying OC fell down the stairs and completly disfigured her face and then give him the number to the hospital where she was at. He calls the hospital and talks to OW and OW tells him she fell down 10-15 stairs she has cuts on her eye and her eye is swollen but her fae is not disfigured (which I thought it wasn't MY H FAMILY TENDS TO REALLY OVER EXATERATE sp?) so anyways he asks her where the hospital is, he gets dressed comes down stairs and tells me Im going to the hospital!!!! I need to go is what he tells me, I know you dont like that Im going but Im going.

Ladies, I got so pissed . Maybe I am being petty but it really hurt that he did not even discuss it with me. I know I kow he is trying to be good fatherm but damn that really hurts when he hears something and he just RUNS out on me to go see OC, I should know that he did NOT GO to see OW but to see OC, but that still bothereed me. We live with his Grandfather who we havge to help take care of, and he 9 yr old was over last night (we get him every thurs night and his mom picks him up after she gets off) and then there was my son. The thing that gets me is I know that I will take care of everyone & I guess he knows it to but for him to just leave everyone with me and BAIL OUT ON ME that hurts. I cried so much last night. . Maybe Im just being over emotional with everything giong on.

So he gets home and he tells me he seen OC when he got there they had her strapped to a board to take a CT scan of her and OW was nowhere around. He said he got to hold her and then she stopped crying. He said her right ear wher she had earrings her earring was gone, she must have ripped it out when she fell. HE said he asked OW what the **** happend and she claims she was in the restroom and she fell down the basement stairs. He said the Dr. kept saying that he might have to look into filing a claim to report her, becasue thier were no other bruises on her body except her face and the Dr. thinks if she fell down the stairs there would be bruises elsewhere. He just kept telling me this I wanted to say WHY ARE YOU KEEP TELLLIN ME THIS . The he tells me on how her hair is getting so long, and she is getting so big, Yeah, I am concenered I want to make sure she is ok but dont keep telling me the same ****!!!! Then he just keeps keeps on tellinf me how Oh I hate to see her like that meaning OC, oh I hate to see her like that, I hate to see any child like that, but I THINK to myself you knew she fell how the hell did he think she was going to look and HE WENT ANYWAYS. HE WENT.

Maybe I am just being a ***** over this whole thing and I am overreacting but damn, dont I have a right to overreact. Makes me think when else will he just run out & leave me to go see OC. Right now, I am soo depressed I just dont know what to do. I have not really talked to him, i think now is not a goood time to talk to him, I jsut dont know what to do. I know if I try to talk to him, he just might explode like Sunny taught me learn to pick my fights and I am not sure if this is a fight worth picking right now. Sometimes im ok and days like today after what happened last night, im just so depressed makes me question if he truly loves me.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

Love
WHitegirl

oh I dont know how you do it, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
That is why I dont want my OC or OW around, shoot if my h couldnt stand the temptation of a you know what being around him once, he sure couldnt do it again,, Im scared he would bring me home another OC with the OW, I mean we already know what they both are capable of. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
I do have alot of respect for all you BS that let the oc come around, cause it only brings the ow around, and we know they will go to great lengths to keep our hubbys.
But I feel that if hubby wants to see the oc, letting him is the first step back to happyness, plus it has to just kill the ow knowing that you and h are truly happy. especially with her child, but I cant do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
I think I would feel the same way you do.
I know i would,,
Your husband should have invited you to go, I bet that would have mad you feel better. Just her knowing that you will be involved will make you feel better.
your feelings are normal, Im sure I would feel the same way,
Just keep posting here, we are here for you, as you are for us.
Good luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No see right now, we really have NC with OW/OC. He will call everyone once in a while to check on OC but unless OW is meeting him at work to pick comething up from him than he has not seen OC. Last time we have seen her was Oct. He seen her for a moment right before New Years because OW came to hs job to pick up some Xmas Presents.

I guess its the guiilt that made him run to the Hospital to check on OC.

oh so it sounds like you dont really mind if he see's the child, just would like him to consult with you, and make you feel like you are part too?
is that it?

Right

I dont want him and her being alone but she will not let US have her anymore. So if he can see her for a few minutes when OW has to pick up somethign from him then i guess i dont mind. I know he calls her, I have come to terms with he is going to. I know he talks to OC, which she cant talk much she is only 1, but I guess it the fact of her hearing his voice.

I know deep down in side of me ALL he is TRYING to do is be a good father, thats all he has ever wanted to do to his children. So i should not blame him for that. But it just makes me mad because he does/did not consult me beofre he went, he jsut told me he was going. I jsut want to be put first.

((WG)))

I am so sorry for all of your pain. I cannot imagine all of the added stress you are under. You are doing waaay good, believe that, in spite of what you believe.

I dont understand one thing, though. YOu said that H is in NC. Your H is definitely not in NC.

How is it and why is it, that OW is "going to H's job" for ANYTHING. That is not NC. There is something wrong with that picture. What is she dropping off, etc.

Of course you are feeling all these horrid and uncertain feelings.... You H is in C with OW- regardless of the OC-- and he is excluding you from decisions.

He also did not include you or at least offer for you to go to the hospital. Who cares if OW wouldn't have wanted you there or what have you. Your H is her father. The hospital is a public place, and she is already dictating that you cannot see OC.

WG- you are NOT going to have any peace in your mind or in your heart until and unless H IS MAKING ALL CALLS OR CONTACT IN YOUR PRESENCE, PERIOD!!!! Your situation is making you feel this way--- you are not overreacting or being a b*tch!!!!

There should be NO CONTACT or you are not going to heal from this..... you are feeling all of these feelings for a reason. I dont feel comfortable w/your H's actions and his meeting OW at work----- as with others here, you do NOT want to wind up finding out there WAS A REASON you were being excluded.

I am sorry to be so seemingly negative-- but you need some peace and you are not going to get it the way things are being handled now!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

p.s. is H "allowing" OW to make the decision that you cannot be around OC??

ANOTHER BIG P.S.

BEING A GOOD FATHER to OC means he would GO TO COURT AND FILE FOR JOING CUSTODY so he can SEE OC without OW'S demands and conditions. Being a GOOD HUSBAND to you means NOT catering to OW but catering to HIS WIFE AND HIS FAMILY BY MAKING them safe. How and why is it that OW DECIDES that you and H cannot see OC??!!!!

Is he paying child support????!!!!!!

No, he is not paying child support. We never went to court we did get a paternity test for our records, but with OW being married we never went to court OC has OW H last name not ours and in our state until otherwise proven H is responsible for that child.

OW comes to his job ONLY when he has somethign for her. Liek he had Xmas gifts for her and he told me that she was coming on such and such day to pick them up. He called me when she came to get them. He told me she picked them up and that he seen OC. Other than that OW does not come to his job. If he has diapers for her than they make arrangements for her to pick them up at his job because she did not llive to far from where he works. He calls her every once in a while to check up on OC but i guess I cant blame him for that.

He just wants to be a dad thats it.
I talked to H and he knows that I am upset but he is just not really talking right now, but that is proablly good beacuse we are both at work. We will see what happens this weekend. I am going to tell him this weekend about how I feel left out not inlcuded.

GIO i know oyou are getting frustrated for me, and thank you but i just need to learn to stand up for myself.

Keep me in you rprayers

WG--

Ok, well the story makes more sense now, I have to say. But still, you are going to have to stick up for yourself as you said! I can't punch him out for you, but I will if you call me early enough to give H a heads up okay! LOL!

Yes, no need getting crazy at work-- I have been there sooo many times-- in my office acting like a nut and praying I didn't get to loud! yuk!

Just try to approach him in the best way you can-- without the finger pointing and heated stuff-- you KNOW how well they react to that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . Sometimes the very best way to get them is to SHOCK them with well thought out discussions and being very matter of fact about what you will NOT tollerate in your marriage, anymore.

You have been thru so much this couple of weeks- and hopefully he will be able to help you get thru this week, and listen to what hurts- and NOT do it anymore! Crossing my fingers for you, okay!

P.S... I feel his trying to be a father to OC is honorable, yes. However, it loses some of its "honorable" value when it is hurting you and your family at home, know what I mean? Try to make him understand the good he is trying to do for OC, but that it just cannot work out nicey-nice for your household for OC's well-being? Understand what I mean? The two things cannot many times co-exist (oc happy/wife and bc happy too).

Hugs to you!!

Oh, and if you have read here for some time, you have a very, very good idea of why your current situation is not going to work with regard to OC. It just wont! It will get worse for you and H and I hope you can somehow make a new arrangement or agreemnt amongst yourselves (i.e. none of this is set up thru courts... ow saying you all cannot see her (yet her H can).. yadda yadda)