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Why is it always a big deal to people whether or not someone is a troll? I guess I have always figured that is why we have Justuss and our other moderators, so I don't have to worry about such things. Besides that, Maria isn't the only person reading here. I learned a bunch when I was just lurking.

I have worked with battered women and I swear to you that there are women out there who don't realize they have a voice or have a right to believe anything other than what their husband tells them they can believe.

I have personally heard much worse stories. Like the woman who I visited in the hospital. She was being stitched up on her right temple, over her ear and her inner thigh because her husband had just shot at her and you can tell where exactly he was aiming. Anyway, it had been a few hours since the shooting; he was in custody and yet she was telling me he didn't mean, he really loved her, she just knew it. It takes about everything in you to only say "honey people that love you don't shoot at you." And then her telling me how wrong I am that I don't know him like she does....etc etc.

I just wish that folks could hold their tongues, and try, I mean really try, to see this through the other person's eyes. It isn't that hard. And it sure is a lot more helpful than jumping down her throat.

IMHO it is the easy way to have the reaction that most have had to Maria. Let's please take a higher road and try to be at least not hurtful. It isn't going to help anyone to drive her away--not her, not her husband, not the OW, not this little child. Nobody is helped by jumping on her.

This is all of course JMVHO.

Peace.

Tiggy

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ent hanging head....

you're right Tiggy... I should know better. H once worked a case where wife's face was slashed on both sides of her face. Husband did it to keep her from talking.

ent

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ent,

It just concerns me that we (as a board) jump on people when they are really down because they don't know all the right ways to say something. And there are things I would probably chastise an old timer about---but someone brand new, no. And please feel free to smack me in the head if I get out of line. Believe me, I do flip out sometimes especially at certain times of the month. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Maria, my email address is in my signature if you are still reading. Feel free to email me. I don't check it that often but I will check it this afternoon. Don't try to go through this alone. And if you can, look at the last couple of days of posts as maybe a hazing. If you are brave and keep posting, some will try to help you and be supportive. I don't want to name names but others have come through the hazing on this board to eventually get some support and help, k?

Tiggy

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To the 'benefit of the doubt' that it is NOT a troll.......is why I responded @ all.

I hadn't even read the second post yet...but even that one is WORSE!!!!

I only suspect it is a TROLL because it is SO stereo-typical of a 'supposed' BW. It really gives 'us' BW a bad name!

There are a few things I might understand if there were comments to back them up but there isn't.

This is just SO way out there that I can't NOT respond to it as I did. I don't know. Not trying to hurt anyone but it's just too way out there.

I would hate to NOT address such innaccuracies in the post, I feel it would only do 'Maria' a disservice if her story IS for real.

HOW can you call your H such an upstanding man WITHOUT him doing ANY actions that are 'upstanding'?

It's ONE thing when your H is actually sorry (as many of us more 'recovereds' know) & he DOES stand up & take responsibility, paying CS, working on the marraige ect.

But threatening, angry for not getting an abortion, getting angry @ your W for being upset? COME ON!!!!!!!!

Maybe 'Maria' will come back & clarify........ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

& it's true ent, it could be some teenager (& not STOW) but the 'stereo-type' is so RIGHT ON that I doubt someone who had not ever been involved in something like this personally, could hit it so right on. kwim?

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Maria, IF you are real & this story is true----then YOU need to get some serious CRISIS intervention IMMEDIATELY. Your H needs some serious mental help & you need to be prepared to protect yourself & your children from your H very misplaced anger.

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doubtful,
kt

<small>[ February 27, 2005, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>

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Did you guys read the threads she had going on over on GQ11 last night? Many of us over there TRIED HARD to get thru to this woman, but to no avail! I have my doubts as well!

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by RollerCoasterPro:
<strong> I asked her on her other thread and she said she didn't live in Texas...how would she know Corpus is in Texas? No one knows about Corpus unless you live here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Corpus Christi, right?

I've never lived in Texas either but I've heard of it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Maybe her last name is Corpus. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

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yes, Clo, Corpus Christi! hmmm, last name Corpus...since she wont even give us her state name, I doubt she would use her REAL last name! She wants to stay anonymous <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I just cant get over the frame of mind this woman is in...not to want to pay CS to his own child! WOW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

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Okay, Yeah I did read the threads over in GQ, similar beating up I thought. And I chose to notice that she was making progress. Maybe she is a troll, I really don't care. I just know that I have seen women in unbelievable situations that say and believe and do unbelievable things. There was no doubt that they were real since they were sitting right in front of me.

Some of the stories would curl your hair. Like the woman who felt like she couldn't stop her husband from taking her 11 year old daughter, that she knew he had raped, because she was afraid of him. I had no doubt she was afraid of him and watched sadly as the state took her children away because she didn't know how to protect them. The things that came out of her mouth were totally unbelievable.

But whatever, if you don't want to believe this poster fine. Why post to her then?

If you think she is a troll, why waste your time and post to her?

I guess I just don't understand why chase her off. If she is real she obviously could benefit a ton from the women her who have been down this road.

And I guess I feel like it isn't my place to judge whether she is real or not and take her story at face value and try to at the very least kind and supportive.

And I really disagree with whoever said posters like her make BS look bad. I can look bad all by myself without any help whatsoever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Peace all. I will agree to disagree here and leave it at that.

Tiggy

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by RollerCoasterPro:
<strong> yes, Clo, Corpus Christi! hmmm, last name Corpus...since she wont even give us her state name, I doubt she would use her REAL last name! She wants to stay anonymous <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I just cant get over the frame of mind this woman is in...not to want to pay CS to his own child! WOW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Roller, now no offensive, but that last statement there........not so far fetched. It was all the other stuff that went with it. And KT your right if a troll or ow troll it does give a bw a stbw bad name. I agree....Tiggy your right too.......I hope to god though that your not. This is just crazy! Sacary too.

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I only read here a little, but wouldnt you think it very realistic that a woman not want to pay child support for a child her husband created? I wouldnt want to, although I would expect my husband to do so.

Although I think she might want to take him off that cloud she has him on and face a little reality. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

As far as corpus goes, It is very well known all over the country side, My husband had several ow from there, But its a big place and I wouldn't worry too much over her even if it is a troll.
I dont believe this woman can be helped either way untill she gets a dose of reality in her life.

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Corpus is a big place??? Not the last time I checked it wasn't! And i live here! Corpus is a VERY small city/town!

Kimmy..do you think corpus is big?

Need...no offensive taken..I was just pointing out just ONE little thing aside from all the other stuff! All of it is very scary


Mom of five...actually, no I would not think it unrealistic if you are a moral human being, to want the father to pay cs...BUT that was not the point...this woman's H doesn't want to pay the child support and she is supporting his decision and not only that trying to find ways to hide assetts to NOT pay the support!

I am a married BS with OC and i wouldn't want anything less than for my WH to pay his fair share of CS to his OC...

Tiggy, I do want to help this woman if she is for real...but she hasn't been back here at all today...I think we all want to help her...help her SEE things the RIGHT way and wake her up and get her the help she needs...I believe and so do many others that she is in an abusive if not very controlling environment and she may just be scared to death to stand up to her H...I hope she does come back!

<small>[ February 27, 2005, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: RollerCoasterPro ]</small>

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Well it isn't Houston, but it is large enough that I wouldnt assume every one who post from there is somehow connected to me. That's all I was saying. It also isn't unheard of. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I know what size it is.


And some people(BS) Do hide assets and do not want to pay and if this is real and the person is new, Then they have not worked through all the emotions as you know, there are so many. She will find out in the end that he will pay. But it isn't unheard of for men or their wives to want to find a way to get out of it. I dont think it is a good idea, Just think it is realistic to go through those emotions.

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RCP,
I know that almost everyone here wants to help. I can't believe that anyone would just hang out here. And perhaps that is where folks get upset about a possible troll. That there are a few people out there who would enjoy to see any of us hurt further. Well, if any are here I wish on them whatever they brought here to hurt us.

But I decided for me with respect to the troll thing, I have just decided to take everyone at their word. I just don't have the energy to try to sort it all out and would rather just try to be helpful and at the very least kind. Or if they rile me up to much, not to say anything unless we have a history.

I noticed that she hadn't been back either. I know if I was her I am not sure I would be back either. And even though she was rather shocking the way she said it, I am pretty sure I would resent my husband paying child support too and I am not rich by any stretch.

I hope you come back too Maria. In case you are still reading---Be safe no matter what and realize the affair was NOT your fault. I think the wrong spouse was apologizing there. He owes you big time. But you do what you need to be safe.

Tiggy

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Tiggy what spouce would not resent that fact. I totally got that. It was just the other stuff. LIke I said, with what she said........I hope it was troll, because it was to scary the stuff she was saying. If she is for real, then I hope she comes back too. I hope she can find the courage to stand up for herself and kids (if she has any). I just saw beyond controled all over it if true.

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