Well my lawyer's office just called me & told me I can come pick up the final D papers. I am now single again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I don't know what to feel. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> H called me last nite, left me a voice mail message, just saying that he hadn't talked to me since Sunday & wanted to know how I was doing. I was glad that my phone was off since I had decided that I didn't want to talk to him anymore it is too painful & did me no good to see him or talk to him - I thought I could handle it but I couldn't it is too soon too fresh.

20 years ago I went thru this but I was happy so happy - there was no question in my mind that I needed to end that M, but this one I truly thought God put us together, so it is so different. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I do know that God does not want me to live in misery & strife though so I made the only decision I could.

I will continue to pray for all the women on this board - when I came here over a year ago so many of u "oldies" helped me more than u will ever know especially KT, LynnG, Stacia, Autumn, Gio & my "sisters" I met here Sunnydale, JT, Kris, Genia, Albany, just to name a few who remember me.

I am praying for u newbies as well - that God will heal & restore your M's despite this "event" that has occurred.

Love u all!

B I'm so sorry I know it's tough. I was hoping for some closure when it's final, I guess you didn't get that yet?

H and I tried to file this week, but the lawyer suggested we wait until after my baby is born because I am on his insurance. He said if we file now and there on complications during the delivery the divorce could become final before my follow-ups and I could be dropped from insurance. So, we have to wait, and it just seems like my life is so up in the air.

Wife -

I am so sorry for u as well, is there no chance in the 2 of u working things out? I am sorry I don't know your story.

Just know there comes a time when u have to let go, I have been going thru this for almost 3 years & if I didn't let it go I would have lost my sanity for sure.

Praying for u, r u in any kind of counseling? Mine explained D as a "death" so I need grief counseling as well as how to cope wtih being single yet again. She knows the whole story & all that H & I put each other thru, but mostly the hell I allowed him to put me thru.

Oh well let go & let God....

I really don't think there is any hope. H and I had been going through recovery (or so I thought) for almost a year. He and OW rekindled things after OC was born. It turns out the relationship has been going on for 7 years and he thinks he is in love w/ her. I am almost 5 months pregnant which is why we are not allowed to get divorced in our state. He is planning on being involved in everything for our child, but I don't see any future for us except for the baby. I know what you mean about your sanity because I am feeling th exact same way. There is only so much you can take. The strange thing for us is that we have remained friendly for the time being. It has definitely been easier to be friendly w/ him rather than the fighting. The fighting was causing too many physical symptoms.

B,

I'm so glad you are still in counseling. This IS hard,,so be sure to take good care of yourself.

{{{{{{B}}}}}}}

B I forgot to answer that I am in IC. H and I went to IC for 5 months. I went to IC for 6 months last year. I have just returned to IC.

wife - r u still living with your H? I am glad that u r in counseling.

nerly - thanks so much for the hug & words of kindness I need it both.

I am doing ok, talked to H yesterday he called me back about 6:00 p.m. mind u I called him at 9:30 a.m.!!!!!! So I told him "I just wanted to let u know that u r a free man - so u outta go out & have a drink, thats what I am about to do"
He got upset very upset & asked why I would come at him like that with that kind of information especially after we talked on Sunday about us getting back together - sometime - maybe in 2006????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> The man is certifiable! I told him I wasn't angry at him or about anything, he told me he would talk to me later & hung up.

Ah..... I don't think so!

After that I went out & celebrated with my closest girlfriends & my dad, had a great time!

I feel great today & everyday will only get better! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, it is the weirdest situation and I know if does not go w/ MB philosophy, so that's why I haven't been posting too much about the situation. H has moved to his brother's but has stayed the night w/ me occasionally. Ecspecially nights that I was having cramps, or his dad wouldn't let him stay at his brothers. We are still talking, but he really thinks he wants to be w/ OW who doesn't really want to be w/ him. We talk about things for the baby and our futures mostly.

I so sorry that u r going thru this, I know how hard it is & being pg. on top of everything u r dealing with can't help.

My XH lived w/ OW for 8 months once I put him out on DDay, he never spent the nite w/ me during that time though - God forbid he disrepect her!

Take care of yourself & that little one. Sending best wishes & lots of prayers your way.

Hey B,

I am sorry I am coming to the party late, but better late than never!! I know the pain you are feeling is hard right now, but know that in time it will get much better. I know you don't need to hear anything well ...... I am glad that you finally have a chance for a better life. A life that does not include him or anyone else that can cause you that typt of pain. I know that you went above and beyond the call of duty as his wife to forgive him and yet he still did not do what he needed to do for you.

Funny, isn't it how they can tear us apart and expect us to just sit around and wait on them to decide that we are what they really need. These types of men usually have ot hit rock bottom before a lesson is learned and I have come to realize that that is up to GOD not me!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am happy that you now have a brighter and much happier future ahead of you. I am waiting to be where you are right now and wanting it to come soon. My H is going to fight me tooth and nail, but hey I am ready for this battle ( GOD will fight it for me)!!

B I will always have you in my prayers and pray that you find the person that GOD has in store for you ( because he is sooooo wonderful girl - I can invision him for you)!! I remember you telling me at one point to wait on the Lord and he'll supply your every need - he will give you your hearts desires if you remain faithful to him and surrender it ALL to him!!!

I love you B,

PS- Moving on with your life without looking back to what is familiar will prove to be a promising future for you, I think!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hey JT,

It is good to hear from u 2, I am praying that your D goes as smoothly as possible, that was one big blessing - having no kids & no property to divide made this go so quickly. If I hadn't been looney & put it on hold twice I would have probably been D by my b'day 2/1!!!

Oh he just called me asking if I got drunk yesteday & was still fuming about the phone call I made. Yeah it was sarcastic but he acted like I slapped him or something! Had the nerve to say my words & actions on Sunday when I saw him didn't match & it upset him. Why did I even answer the phone??? Oh well he asked for this for years now that its here, he can't deal with it.

Anyoo, yeah u r right gotta lean on & totally depend on God thru all this. I know I may have some rough days ahead but not planning on many of them - mainly have to stop any contact with him which I plan to do. Yesterday was a courtesy call - nothing more & hey if he was truly upset it was only a tenth of all the days & nites I spent crying & upset I have experienced trying to love him.

Keep praying - God's got your back & will fight your battles for u, matter of fact - don't wait til the battle is over - shout now!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love u much!

B, I don't know much about your story but just wanted to share with you how I felt when I got the divorce papers ...
(Back in May) xH was with me when I got the mail (he was still living with OW) but had started talking about coming back (I didn't know about OC until August) ... I just started crying ... and he said - this is a fresh start for us ... an opportunity to rebuild ... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Well, it's going to be a year pretty soon ... not once I've felt 'single' ... very weird ... I still feel that we are married ... just separated for a while ...

Anyway {{{hugs}}} for you ...

Hi Mily,

My H & I were M almost 9 years, in 2002 I found out that he had been having an A & the OW was pg. I put him out & he lived with her for 8 months, came home in April 2003 & we struggled every since to put our M back together, well I guess I should say I struggled. I think now he is really just starting to understand what his acitons have cost him.

I know what u mean about not feeling "single". It has only been 4 days & although I have been celebrating being "free" I don't feel free, didn't want to be free but saw no other way to end my pain so here I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Since we have no children to tie us together it should be easy to let go but it isn't.

In time I guess.....

I'm so sorry, B. ((((Squidges))))

Thanks Kimmy

Taking one day at a time, what else can I do????

I saw him yesterday, I shouldn't have but did.

Oh well today is a new day right!

Love u! & will keep praying for your continued restoration in your M!

Love you too, Sugarbear!

Hey you!

I am so sorry that it has come to this.. yet I am not sorry to see a vibrant and special young woman BEGIN to GET HER LIFE BACK!!

I can feel your spirit through all of your posts, always could- and I just know your sad days are numbered!

BIG HUGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Gio!

Thanks for the hugs & the support.

I posted on the D board, that I did a silly thing by having SF with my X the other day:eek:

I won't let that happen again though, I have to let go & be strong & be free!

I just didn't think this would be so hard.