.. THAT IS WHAT THIS WHOLE DAMN SITUATION IS MAKING ME!!!!! Seriously the messed up state our marriage was in Pre A, my H's A, the ow/ and even oc(although I know he's the innocent) it all just makes me so overwhelmed and feeling depressed and I'm soooo tired of it. I don't, I repeat do not want to go to a doctor to get meds. But I want these sad feelings to go away. I'm sure at least one other person may feel as I do. I was just wondering is there any way to deal w/ depression w/out getting on meds?

What about doing excerise that is one way to get your levels up without meds. I am really sorry about the situation you are in.

Exercise will give you the same effect as meds...that and get into the sunshine, it is a mood elevator. Take your vitimins, depression can make your eating habbits less than desireable. Schedule yourself, build a routine. Try not to over or under sleep. Start journalling positive thoughts everyday, even if it can only be how good your morning coffee tastes. I went through severe post partum depression with my first child, you can pull through this...just don't let yourself go into that dark place. There is no shame in taking meds, I had to in the end and wished after that I hadn't waited so long. I only had to take them for a few months before I could get through the worst of it.

You certainly aren't the only one feeling this way. Believe in yourself, be your own best friend.

Oh you sweet thing!!! Everyone here has had that deep dark feeling! Sad huh? Guess what, it will pass. I promise!

The WORST thing you can do is give in to it. Instead of laying around with a box of kleenex, get up, do your hair, nails and dress sharp. Go and treat yourself to a massage! Pick a day, and make it a Calismile day! Pamper yourself. What is it that you love to do more then anything? Shop? Ski? Ride horses? Swim? Whatever is your absolute favorite pasttime, spend a whole decadent day pursing it.

Now, for those nasty thought and self speak. It is quite hard to turn it off right? Well, it will still be there, so make an effor to push it aside and allow yourself to enjoy a whole day! The advice above pertaining to exercise and diet is dead on. You do not want to sit on the couch, ruminating over the state of your life, drinking coffee and getting all wiredup....lord knows you have enough adreniline running through you already.

So, after your day of you....give yourself at least an hour a day of total you time. Long hot bath? Take it. Walk through the park with your dog (simply the best listeners EVER), go for it. No matter what, just make sure YOU pamper YOU.

Will this be the magic fix for all your pain and troubles? NO. It will be a way to get away from the drama and stress of it all. It is good for you. And YOU MATTER. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

Take this one day at a time. It is NOT going away tonight or tomorrow or next week. It will be a process as you adjust to your new reality. You need to be your own best advocate on what YOUR NEEDS are. Take the time and replenish your soul and think through these things.

I know it seems impossible, I was there once. But you know what? You can and will survive. This is not fatal! Much much worse things have happened to other people! I'm sure that this is the worst thing that has happened to you though. And guess what? You are going to be fine and get through it!!!

Please post away here, there are people here who truly care about you and will listen. You can repeat yourself over and over again and no matter what, we will be here for you. Know why? Cause we had people who listened to us when we were in the pits of despair! We had people who handed us a kleenex and hugged us when needed, but who also kicked us in the but and got us off our couches and back out in the game of life! You are a deserving person who will be cared for here amongs your peers. WE WILL help see you through this.

However, I think it would be a good thing to go and see your doctor, get a complete physical and allow him/her to help you. They will not force you to take meds if you don't want them, but they can help you with proper diet and exercise! Your doctor will be the best person you have as an ally in battling depression.

Did you know that a long walk, helps soothe a depressed person? They rythmic motion of walking helps with seratonin levels. There are also some foods that help too. Turkey is really good! This is where your doctor can help!

Take care sweetie!!

Caiismile,
I'm so glad you posted this. Some days, like today, feel like this will never go away. Of course I've accepted that this situation isn't going anywhere, but this anxiety and depression are here forever. I, like you, don't want to do meds. But I've never felt so distraught for so long in my entire life. If I ever have, I've gotten off my butt and chnaged something. I can't change this. I will try to make myself do some of the things people have suggested here. I know, especially right now (week b4 my period) that my head is not a safe place to be. I have already made a list for the week to keep myself busy as I am a sahm and COULD just sit and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes (I started smoking when H and I split in May and it just got worse after I found out about A).
I'm so glad spring is here in my part of the world, I really need to see the sun and get outside. Take care of you, I'll try to do the same <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Lynn gave u some excellent advice, do something for U - anything to take your mind off this situation, I was feeling like u as well & I didn't want to take any meds & I didn't. For me prayer helped a lot, along with a great group of ladies I call my "sisers" from here & also who live near me.

Whatever u do don't give in to those dark feelings or u will lose yourself in them & it won't help the situation & least of all U.

U are important to us here & to people in your life, keep your self healthy - that being your mind & your body, concentrate on taking care of U not the situation. Be selfish right now - put U first.

I wish I could say more to help u but know that we care & have all been where u are right now or close to it. Better days are ahead sweetie - believe that.

Thanks guys. I posted on my other thread but I went to a doc today and got some meds. I'm not sure if I'll take them but he offered other nonmedicinal options as well. Between the options he gave and the ones I have gotten here I'm sure I'll be able to figure out an avenue that works for me. Thanks again.