Well, the last time we got OC the comminication notebook was gone. XOW got rid of it, I guess. So we're buying a new one, and will continue to write updates there.

My H has decided phone calls to our home from XOW will be handled like so:
We will not answer the phone when she calls, we have caller id and do not accept calls from which the number is blocked. When she leaves a message, my H will respond through the notebook. What do you think?

Also, XOW left a message this morning re: OC being behind acedemically. My H and I have been working very hard with OC over the last two weeks to be able to recognize and name the letters in her first name. Also, worked on writing her first name all by herself. She finally did it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

XOW calls us today and says in a really snotty tone that "OC wrote her name all by herself this morning. Her teachers have noticed a huge improvement with her name just recently. Her teachers and I discussed this thoroughly and we believe OC is simply insistant on learning things at her own pace. See? She's catching up, she just won't do it because YOU want her to, she'll do it when she's ready."

I don't know why this chaps my @ss so bad, but she could've at least given him a thank you for helping OC with her name, or something! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Instead, she makes it out like there was never an issue to begin with and that OC just needed more time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

No, what OC needed was someone who would actually sit down with her and help her learn what she needs to know. Urgh!

Although, I am glad that the teachers have noticed a significant improvement in OC since my H came into the picture. And XOW is finally capable of getting OC to school on time - 8:30 am everyday this week! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyway, just wanted to share and also let you know that it helps me to have some common ground with you as your situation and mine share many similarities. I appreciate all the advice I get from you....so thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

AVNL

Oh man. I'd say what an idiot, but that would insult the citizens of idiotville on GQII.

I don't know how you don't take your shoe off and beat her with it.

Amazing restraint....kudos to you.

That is great news about OC academic improvements! woohoo!

OW didn't say thank you because she either 1) doesn't know you have been working w/ OC or 2) she is denial about YOU working w/ her. Either way-just ignore, ignore, ignore. You know what you do & someday OC will thank you. (I think)

I think that is great about the notebook. It's only in the best interests of OC to keep lines of communication OPEN, even if it's in writing. AND it gives you something to look back over & see patterns, improvements & what have you, regarding OC. duh! on her!!!

I would still keep a personal copy @ home w/ you. Also keeping note of how she arrives (dressed in ill fitting clothes, good mood, tired ect)

Do the teachers KNOW that you guys have been working w/ her? If they do, I bet they were telling OW that ALL oc needs is someone to work w/ OC consitently & she will be able to accomplish the academic goals. kwim? Probably trying to tell OW gently----to get w/ the program. LOL

I am glad that things are going well for OC. Keep up the good work.

That is ONE thing {our} OW admitted to was: that once drop-offs & p/u were to & from school, nothing IN person, the tension & stress eased up greatly!!!!!! Especially on OC. So that is also good that the transitions are @ the preschool.

Another book referral: Mom's house, Dad's house- author________ Ricci, I believe. It is about DIVORCED parents but still has good suggestions for kids/parents dealing w/ 2 separate households. Some of it is useful (like the transition suggestions) while some may not apply (due to the perspective of previously married parents). But otherwise it is one of very few books about CO-parenting.

keep up the good work & thanks for letting me know. I appreciate it. It's great to hear GOOD new around here! kwim?

xoxoxox
kt

Thanks for the book tip, KT. Any help would be welcomed at this point.

XOW does know we've been working with OC, we WERE sending home little activities that OC had done at home during the visits, and pictures she'd colored etc. The teachers also know because my H has been very active in OC's education since we've been allowed visits.

And, you're right about the copies. I think that's a great idea. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I certainly like the drop-offs and pick-ups from the school. Although dealing is stressful at times, I know it would be awful if we had to deal with XOW face-to-face each and every week.

More good news: My H and I have decided we're going to take a vacation over the summer, go to the ocean and visit my childhood friend - WITHOUT THE CHILDREN! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

We haven't spent more than one night away from the children since our honeymoon. And the kids should be thrilled because they each get a vacation at grandma's for a week! I'm so excited!

I think a break would be a good thing for the two of us...get away from it all for a little while, kwim?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
AVNL

Oh that is more than a good idea. It is a MARVELOUS idea! I couldn't agree more!

Kids are great---but you still need that couple time--ALONE. TO really focus on the 2 o fyou & your relationship. Besides 'counseling' LOL. Time to enjoy each other, relax, make love like there's NO tomorrow & like there's NO little one banging on the door! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Time for some romance.

woohoo! Go for it! Don't let ANYTHING stand in the way of THOSE plans!

Come hell or highwater.....lol

xoxooxox
kt

PS: which ocean?

Atlantic Ocean....Virginia Beach, Newport News, Norfolk.....we're just going to tool around for a week.

My H and I have been bickering and fighting a lot lately, we talked about it last night and we both agree that we are just dealing with too much stress and need a vacation.

It's very difficult to get your groove on when you've got four young children running rampant through the house! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So yes, I think this is a wonderful idea and we're going to MAKE it happen.....we can just barely afford it, but I think it'll be worth a little pinch, kwim?

Big Hugs, KT!!

AVNL

Avnl: Not to intrude, but how old is oc? There is a website and I'd have to go back and find it but they have all kinds of activites age approiate to print out for the kids. When I took the kids out of preschool while I had the baby I found this website either by a friends or searching and they had enough activities in there to keep them busy for two weeks. Each day I printed out a page for them and we did it. I was afraid that they would stop remembering what they had learned and it was getting close to start K. Plus they had a blast. If your interested I'll see if I saved the website or can find it. I think it's great that your h is very involved with her teachers and education. No matter what the situation is I think both parents should be. Education is so important. Even if xow does not recoginze your deeds it's okay, because your imporving her skills and making life easier for her in the long run (oc that is). I think xow is probally just not wanting to admit that you and h played a hand in helping her improve her writing skills and bringing her up to speed where she should be. Oh well.......you did not do it for xow, but for oc. She is with her more than you are, and even if she works, you can make time for this stuff. I know I've been there and done that with twins no less. Good job! I think it's great your taking a vacation away from your kids. Every couple should do that and if money is really tight, even if the kids go somewhere else for a few days is nice too.

aVNL....
I read this today and have to say a big
WAY TO GO!!! Kudos for helping that little girl!

It sounds like that OW is too focused on herself instead of her child.
Its great to hear that you put OC's need ahead of your own pain... as most Mother's do.. place the child's need ahead of their own.

The role of step-parent can be a difficult one.. but if we take a STEP UP from the frustration that the bio-parent tends to create in our lives.. it can only be a STEP in the right direction for the child... ANY child, not just an OC.

We have never used the "communication notebook" with OW but I am considering it... I refuse to allow Lil Bit to wind up like her brother and not be able to read by the time she is 9!
Infact, just yesterday Lil Bit asked me to teach her to read! She is only 3!! LOL

Keep up the great work you are doing!

ntmo...
I am interested in that site you mentioned... Could you check into it and if you find it, email it to my moniker at hotmail.com? I'd appreciate it!

Stacia