Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
To everyone who responded to my NC letter question yesterday, I apologize for being so angry and I truly appreciate the opportunity to vent.

KT: You are amazing, I admire your candor and appreciate your strength. Your posts always give me a clearer perspective on things. So, thanks!

Mom of five: I didn't mean to jump down your throat, usually I'm a pretty level-headed person. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I heard XOW's voice on the line and lost my cool. There is a reason my H is only one to deal with her. I can't, and yesterday only solidified it for me.

I know someone else responded, I can't remember the ID, but I truly appreciate all of the responses.

I think some of my frustration also lies with my H, if I were him I would handle a lot of things differently. I don't think my H is going to make the judge aware of our concerns about contact. I think my H is embarassed about it. IMO, the judge would be understanding of his request for minimal contact. I'm sure the courts have seen many cases like ours. But, it's not my decision.

I know that I can't deal with OW. From now on I'll let my H do it all by himself. And if XOW calls me at work again I simply won't take her call.

I hate feeling like the past gets the best of me. I hate days like yesterday when I completely lose it. It makes me feel out of control. Better today, though.

Anyways, thanks gals...I needed it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Big Hugs,
AVNL

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,536
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,536
No harm, No foul.

Expect it to happen sometimes.

Things happen unexpectedly & it sets us off. I THINK that these situations are SO unexpected for us BW, that after this, other UNexpected situations that crop up ---We don't handle very well. We just can't. WE've been through hE!! on Earth so any other 'change in the routine' is very stressful. When you're trying to put pieces back together.....it's unnerving.


But see.....now you have made a 'plan' on how to deal w/ it if it ever happens again---you won't take the call---& now you can feel safe & secure again. Calm. Peaceful. IN control.


IT's ok. There will be bumps in the road.

You will feel better after the papers are filed too.

ONE day @ a time.


Hugs.......
xoxoxo
kt

Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 243
That's right, KT.

Deep breaths....in...out...in...out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You're right, IN CONTROL.

How are the kiddos? Have you managed to get the fire damage cleaned up?

Update?

:)AVNL

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,536
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,536
OH you remember that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> LOL Thanks for asking.

A few weeks ago, (or was it a month) we finally painted. It was a 2 day job! I really underestimated it! We have a big living room/dining area plus we had to paint the ceiling! IT came out ok but the floor is thrashed!

WE had it covered but still, there are drips everywhere! So my once nice looking hardwood floor, now looks 'dirty' all the time. {shrug} oh well.

The living room (walls) looks really good & bright. BUT I can see WHY people HIRE others to paint for them!LOL We were SO exhausted. WE did the primer the first day then the real paint the second AND H had to go to work so ds & I finished up all the trim, doors & odds & ends.

And I had a LOT of stuff on my walls! ALOT. That took a while to take it all down & I have not put all of it all back up & I don't know if I will because I rearranged & it looks nice how it is BUT I now have boxes of framed photos! LOL

I made an 'arrangement' on my wall (that i am rather proud of <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> ) anyhoo, I bought some big black letters to hang on the wall & they spell JOY.......so it's a nice reminder EVERY DAY to check my attitude & to THINK about ALL I have to be joyful for.


Thanks for asking! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

xoxoxoxo
kt

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 286
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 286
Um suggestion my husband was a chicken **** about speaking his mind in court and i well I just faxed a statement typed to the courthouse and addressed it to the judge and asked that it was added to my file signed husband.

I told my husband after the fact. and handed him a copy and he was relieved lol but nervous that the judge would ask him questions about the letter. Husband has an issue with speaking up publicly.

Well the judge said in court I added your letter to the file mr.X and i assume you have a copy for the opposing counsel... he did i gave him more than one copy.

Ask your husband if he would like to do that.

my husband loved it it conveyed his message and he didnt have to say much at all in court.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 393 guests, and 589 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
thomas-dean, Mukesh Ram, duocbinhdong, RonBrown, leorasy
72,054 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by clara jane - 08/27/25 02:42 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by RonBrown - 08/21/25 11:27 PM
Three Times A Charm
by leorasy - 08/20/25 12:00 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,528
Members72,055
Most Online8,273
Aug 17th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0