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#842543 03/20/05 02:48 PM
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my h told ow i was pregnant on friday. this afternoon in the oc's carseat was a card that said congrats on your baby. it said there is nothing like the feeling of knowing you're a mom and blah blah...i got very offended she would even send something like that....how would you react?

#842544 03/20/05 03:14 PM
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I understand why you question her motives, but maybe she was actually trying to be nice and initiate a fresh start between the two of you since you do care for her son everyday.

#842545 03/20/05 05:52 PM
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Sometimes becoming a mother for the first time changes you spiritually, and maybe she was genuinely trying to connect.

If you're unsure, don't respond and let it go. No harm done in my book.

#842546 03/20/05 05:54 PM
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I agree with Wife30 as hard as it may seem it may be a genuine offering of kindness.

I think I would be takin back by it a little but I would realize the thought is nice.

SG <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#842547 03/20/05 09:02 PM
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well seeing the two days ago she told my H I was not a "mother" myself so I was clueless on how to raise a baby, I don't think her motives were positive ones. I think it was more of a hahahah, I have a baby by your h so there.

#842548 03/20/05 09:45 PM
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Why is the OW stoking the fire?! She should leave you alone and not initiate contact unless she has to.

#842549 03/20/05 10:22 PM
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Send her a card thanking her and telling her how much you and your husband are looking forward to STARTING a family. How he is so happy to have a child coming, created out of love and not shame........... JUST KIDDING.

Ignore it.

#842550 03/20/05 10:57 PM
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Ditto--ignore it. Be classier than she is!

She doesn't sound very mature, so she either meant well with bad taste, or meant ill, and you may never know. Fighting about it won't help visitation. Keep business-like when possible.

Congradulations on your pg!
J

#842551 03/21/05 01:33 AM
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hurt5
thats exactly how i would have taken it. She is stating something in the card that she is something that your NOT and she was first or something to that effect.

I really would not have told her anything about you if i were your husband. She may try to cause you stress during your pregnancy on purpose.

the best thing your husband can do for YOU is NEVER tell her a dang thing about you EVER> its NOT her business. I only say this because the xow aka stalker used any and every bit of info that my H said about me to turn it against me and now stalks me , its like she asked innocent enough questions according to him and wrote it all down and now knows TOO much.

But I do agree with the rest, DO NOT write her or speak to her about anything.
you or your husband.

no response is best this way she will get the impression that you are indifferent to her, and will hopefully stop trying to contact you.

#842552 03/21/05 09:43 AM
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Hurt5-04~

Just a thought here~~ a simple "thank you, that was very thoughtful" might bug the stink out of her even more than no response.

My guess is that she did mean ill will by it, and would love nothing better than to know she got your dander up.

Do the no response, or the simple thank you...BUT don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you were upset by it.

JMO

~ad

#842553 03/21/05 11:04 AM
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I agree with AutumnDay...

Send back a nice note... saying Thank you for the lovely jesture.

As the old saying says.. Kill 'em with kindness.

Before my pregnancy, OW had once told my H that he should have chosen to stay with her and Lil Bit.. because I would never have a child and they had the family together...
She caught wind of our trying to have a baby and she tried many ways to prevent it. Including have a friend tell me that SHE was trying to start an affair with my H... turned out to be a hoax, but none-the-less was horrifying!

When she found out I was pregnant... she tried to be "nice"... I knew it was a front...
So, I was nice back... she finally gave up talking about it...
But, she is nice to Mac now. Smiles at him and talks to him...
I know she hates that he is here. Oh well.. Too Bad!

Stacia


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