Just thought I'd let you all know that H and I are officially in recovery with the help of a wonderful counselor. I'm a little skeptical to discuss my issues here now because I found out that our OW is lurking through these boards. Although it's probably a good thing for her to be visiting here, I'm not so sure I want her reading any more of my postings. And I feel that if she's going to lurk, she may as well speak, so OW, if you see this one, why don't you speak up. There's help here for you too because Lord knows you need it.

That's wonderful news Michele! Our prayers are with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Michele, my prayers and thoughts and well wishes are with you and your family!

You and H can survive this if you both are truly READY NOW! I am a living and breathing example of how a really, really f*cked up situation with seemingly no hope--- can turn into smiling faces in the sun!!!!!!! My family is healthier and stronger than ever! It took some time and lots of strength and trial and error and MARRIAGEBUILDING on all of our parts, but we are doing even more than just MAKING IT!

As far as OW coming around-- don't even bother to call her out-- she should NO LONGER EXIST in your life, your family. She is like an evil virus that polutes, destroys and transmits evil to you and your children! Cast this destructive person OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!

She has taken waaaay too much of your life and your famlies lives away... she deserves NOTHING but dead silence from you! The wanton disregard for lives, friendship and the children involved is enough to have you hanging a cross or some garlic at your door--- LOL! Let her swim in her own MUCK and she should be dead to you!!!!!!!! And your H!!!

I pray for your H to be softened and his opened to the truth. He will remember and realize that he has a true lady in his life, that you deserve respect--- you have been a true soldier for your marriage, husband and your children!! YOU are his partner, his soul mate, the mother of his children!

God smiles on you, Michele.

Now you and Hubby love one another the way that God intends for a Husband and Wife to do! And please, do not lose sight of the fact that reconciliation means that you have accepted H into your life-- so don't forget to show him that you are willing and able to love him again. Try to enjoy one another and take time to laugh and make love- it is very important!

I am happy for you and we will be here to support you - good or bad days!!

Are you happy? Are you nervous? How do you feel about the decision to reconcile?

Gio, thank you. Everything you say makes perfect sense. I'm very happy to finally have the opportunity to work towards a common goal w/H. I feel like if we are able to work through all the muck that we will be happier than we have ever been and that puts a big <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> on my face. Yes I am nervous. Nervous about alot of things such as digging into myself and my past and figuring out why I am where I am, nervous about H relapsing, nervous about how the issue of OC is going to be dealt with, but I have positive outlook and I think that's what keeps me going! Thank you for the support!

Michelle, I truly hope this works out for you. I am praying for you and your situation. I really wish I could talk to you more only because I feel that maybe you could help me. I completely understand about not wanting it on the boards. I had a little scare w/ that myself. H was trying to get the password to my account and I don't think it was to improve himself, but in hopes of knowing what I was saying. He was furious w/ me when he found out I was posting somewhere.

Gio, I really need to listen to what you just told Michelle about OW. I feel this horribly unhealthy need to know answers to things. I guess because I was so truly in the dark for such a long time. I have talked to OW more than I should have. In some ways it has been helpful because there are things that I want to know and things I feel I need to get off my chest. However, of course it hurts a lot. I can't seem to stop asking her and H questions and I know it is detrimental. I'm working on it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> but I have positive outlook and I think that's what keeps me going! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Michele-- YOU GOT IT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> This is really the key, I've found!!!

Keeping positive, even when situations such as ours can make us feel so grim, is what keeps us healthy in body and alive in spirit! (God leading the way, of course <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Michele, I always try to apply messages of hope and positivity in my posts. I agree with you 300% that attitude and outlook is everything!

I have felt that people may read me as over confident, even arrogant at times. However, when faced with the pain (insecurity, crushed spirit) that we have --we MUST learn to love ourselves, keep HOPE ALIVE, and to become ALL THAT again!

Be strong, be a solider-- be the lady that everyone is wondering HOW DOES SHE DO IT- so strong, positive and VIBRANT, in spite of what others have done !!!! Number one rule for me is don't EVER, EVER let another steal your smile, your shine, your spunk! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wife30, I'm open to discussing anything with you and answering any ?'s you have, however, I don't think I want to post any recovery that's going on w/H and me here simply because it's not OW's biz anymore and she's definitely not one to trust and she may try to use it as fuel as she has many other things that H and I try to do. So, with that said, if you want to email me personally you may do so, or if you want "general" info. I'd be more than happy to post here. I just think it's too soon for me to be sharing info. with the idea that OW is lurking here. My email is michelerhall2001@yahoo.com if you want to email me. Hope everyone understands my point, I'm not trying to "hide" or keep things from any posters here because I know that we can all help each other. Sadly enough, OW found out I was posting here because out of the kindness of my heart I told her H about this site in hopes that he could find some comfort and support with others in his situation. Guess that's what I get for caring about others!

Michele,

Best wishes & many prayers being sent your way! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />