Just me, RC, needing to vent again and ask a question.<P>H decided to get our family together with friends tonight, but I'm not sure I want to go. I feel like I'm putting on an act when we go over there. Both the H & W know about our problems and I have told my friend (the W) some things that I'm sure my H would not want divulged to them. <P>DO I still go and put on the act? Or do I stay home and have some me time? It's not always an act, I do still feel something for him - just not sure what right now. Especially today after the hug and kiss before his leaving for golf (that's another thing I'm jealous of right now, he gets to golf, but I can't right now because of my surgery - bummer, bummer, bummer.)<P>Help me out someone, please?

If it will please H and you can enjoy yourself....By all means go try not to LB and you will in all likelyhood enjoy yourself.<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

RC,<BR>I'm here!! I've been here most of the day!! Oh no, now you will no how pathetic I am! LOL<P>I would probably go. Now anyway. There was a time I wouldn't have gone but knowing the stuff I've learned from MB, I would go. My H has a need for recreation. <P>If you decide to go. Try to have a good time! I know how hard this is.<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Go, Please Go!<P>Regardless of who knows what, you'll likely have a great time. Besides, if these people are really friends then they are likely going to be on their best behavior just to be sure you two experience some "reparing" of the relationship.<P>Also, RC, you wrote that you like the hugs and kisses, and feel something for him especially after these experiences. That tells me an awful lot - it says you have a lot of feelings for this man, but perhaps are protecting yourself from letting those feeling surface all the way so that you can not be hurt. You wouldn't be the first to do that.<P>Go, have a great time there, and afterward. Make it a point not to LB even if others do. Make him feel really good about the experience and you - take it as far as both he and you will allow the evening to go.<P>I'm routing for you.<P>SamH

Oh, thanks everybody!!!!!!<P>Sam, you put tears in my eyes because you are right. I do still feel alot for him, I guess that's why it hurts so much sometimes.<P>Okay, deep breath and sniffle and on my way.<P>Well, expletive, deletive! Just got a call from my H - he had to go to the dentist earlier (about 1 1/2 hours ago) but they had an emergency. Possible, but my <BR>imagination(?) comes into play. Enough time for him to run to see OW.....I know, don't give in to my imagination. Still it's hard.<p>[This message has been edited by RCoaster (edited February 05, 2000).]

Call the dentist's office and check!<P>I know I would do that.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

RCoaster,<P>Sorry for the bummer of a weekend...<BR>I hope it turns out for the better...<BR>...but like everyone else... you've got to lower those expectations when it comes to your S.<P>Prayers for you... <BR>Warm thoughts... on a cold night... <P>Jim