It has only been 3 weeks since I asked H to leave and on that same day I found this place. Why does it feel like 3months? <BR> My H is still here but I know he is still seeing OW. I can tell this is hard on him(TOO BAD) He has said he's sorry, (but has no plans on staying.) He is not a big communicater, never has been. That has always been a source of irritation with me.<BR> I write him notes and express my feelings but never get any feedback.<BR>Last week we had a call on our answering machine from a Head Hunter asking my H to call him about a possible job, I was so excited I thought it was a sign from God,(still do)but he didn't even call the guy back, said it was just some guy that was given a bunch of names to call and it happens all the time. There goes my hope of getting him away from OW.(he's not looking for a job change anyway)<BR> He looked for an apartment one day 2 weeks ago, and ever since we keep getting little cards in the mail from all the places he visited, I told him how much it hurts<BR>to see those and he said they asked for his address how was he to know they would do that? I went this week to the Doctor and she gave me a an antidepressant, it will<BR>take 3 weeks to become effective. Went to a Marriage Counseler too. "See a Lawyer, tell him to move into a motel." The basic jest of the conversation. I feel that it might be<BR>easier for me when he does go.(I won't have to see him everyday wanting himso badly and noing he doesn't want me!) But I don't want him to go so I'm not pressuring him about going, I won't tell him not to go either because I've done that before and he stayes and just becomes more unhappy and sneakier about OW. <BR>So I'm still where I started 3 weeks ago, depressed,hurt,wanting him to go, not wanting to go.....Mad as H*ll trying not to LB and still trying to do Plan A.<BR>Our D's 16th birthday is today,(the mentally disabled one.) I couldn't even bring myself to plan anything... I'm taking her and a friend to the movies and then to dinner,<BR>H is going to join us for dinner(BIG WHOOP!) I guess that's a plan, but she wanted to have a bunch of friends at an Arcade. I could not sum up any energy for that.<P>Sorry this is so long. I guess I just needed to vent and talk to someone..... I did give my H the Emotional survey to fill out, so I could figure out what it is he wants. That was 2 days ago... no word on that front yet. Kinda don't expect him to do it tho. It's so hard to discuss his feelings. <BR> <P><P>------------------<BR>Peg

I don't know exactly what to say as I have never been in your situation, my H just abandon me. <P>If you didn't get much support from that marriage counselor, I'd say go to another. I have been to 2 counselors and 3 lawyers. I hates all 3 lawyers. Both counselors are idiots. Probably why I am such a mess right now. I think some people got their degree in a cracker jack box. It is so easy for these people do preach to you...send him to a motel... has that person ever been where you are? As far as I am concerned, they have no right giving you info like that. Most people agree that its easier to work on things while he is there with you. Even if it is only you plan A'ing away, you have much more opportunities while he is there. It may seem like at times you want him to leave, but that is in the moment, once he goes, the loneliness, seperation and not knowing what he is doing as much is another burden on you.<P>If he gets cards in the mail, from the apartments, throw them out. Try to keep that environment as steady, stable and loving as you can, so "if" he leaves he has that good memory in his head. Be strong in front of him, don't let him see too much pain. Its hard, but show him your strength.<P>Prayers and sympathies with you.

LM,<BR> Thanks for responding, your right about trying to not show the grief and pain around him, some days it's alittle hard...<P> I've read some of your story in other posts, forgive me for saying this but your H sounds like the biggest, meanest B*tt Head around( that's the nicest thing I could come up with!)<BR>I take back what I said about not getting together with OM. If I had someone wating in the wings so to speak I would run not walk to him !!!!!! Not sound advice I know, but right now I could use some attention from the oppisite sex.<P> I may be (??)yrs. old but I'm not bad looking & in<BR>shape how am I suppose to be attractive to others if I can't get anyone to look at me???<BR> <BR>I'm not a flirt, but I didn't think I was a prude either(maybe it's those Amish outfits I've been wearing?) Got a great bargain tho.<BR> All clothes without zippers were 50% off! <BR> Just got back from my D birthday dinner and a movie, H met us for dinner everything went fine we were polite but we never talk about personal stuff. Now he's asleep on the couch, nightly routine. I wanted to<BR> take a picture of him the<BR>other night as he was asleep curled in the chair, (his mouth was hanging open head back) and send it to OW, and say see what your getting this is everynite............<P> Course she would probably<BR>think thats cute and he probably will be partying everynite with her!!!!!!!!!! <BR> Boy do I need to get out of this lousy mood <BR>guess I'll go to the joke thread for a few laughs <BR> Thanks again for listenen........... <BR><P>------------------<BR>Peg