I wanted to update everyone who replied to my thread "Where do I go from here?". I filled out the EN Questionnaire and the LB Questionnaire, plus printed out just about everything relevant from this website and gave it to my H. He read it and then told me he wanted a divorce. It would be too hard and "fake". Well, I thought about giving up, even went to a lawyer. But I decided to e-mail him some letters, Q&A topics, plus my own feelings and love for him. Well, yesterday, he called me on my cell phone on my way home from work and asked if he could have the kids tonight (Friday) to go out to eat, etc. I said sure. I was a little sad because I had hoped he might have read all the stuff I e-mailed him. So I mentioned that I had sent him some e-mails. He hadn't read them yet. After I got home, he called and started asking me about my day, my job, how it was going...one of my emotional needs on my Questionnaire (which he has read). Then he invited me to go with him and the kids to dinner. I accepted. I don't want to get my hopes up, but "maybe" he's is beginning to try. Anyway, I feel more positive than I have in a long, long time. What do you guys think??? By the way, I got him a V-day gift and card, too. Any advice is helpful!!!<P>Blessed be.<P><P>------------------<BR>Keridwen

K-<P>Take it slow.<P>Give him time to think. Don't expect too much too fast. I know that is the hardest part. You just want the pain to end now!<P>But hang in there. No LB's, and in regard to V day. <P>Something small which means a lot to him. I sent my ex a single white rose. White is her favorite, and I could have sent a whole dozen for the cost of this special order, but I did not want to go overboard. <P>Just enough to let him know you still care.<P>Good Luck and God Bless <BR>

Keridwen7 - I agree with Joe here - take it slow!! Any indication at all that he might be trying to work on things is GREAT - but don't overanalyze it if you can help it and don't get your expectations so high that you crash if things don't all work out right away.<P>A relationship that is in need of help is sort of like a weight problem (at leats in my mind) - it just sort of sneaks up on you over a long time, and when you finally realize it needs to be addressed you sometimes go "gung-ho" into fixing it, and if you don't see results right away you start getting depressed and give up - don't let that happen - it takes awhile for bad things to develop - it will take awhile for them to be fixed - one step at a time.<P>And Joe is also right on track on the VDay gift - make it small and very personal - showing you care and "know" him and what makes him happy. It is easy to want to go overboard on stuff to "prove" your love to him - but don't do it at this point if you can help it :-).<P>Good luck

Thanks for the advice. You're right...I am gung ho right now!!! I got him the "Supernatural" CD by Santana (he's been wanting it real bad). And some chocolate hearts. That's not too much is it??? (I can always keep the chocolate hearts for myself te-he). Anyway, I know it won't be overnight, but you're right, the inclination is to overkill so the pain goes away. But it is nice to feel "good" for the first time in a long time, even if it doesn't last.<P>Blessed be.<P><P>------------------<BR>Keridwen

Keridwen,<P>I am so happy for you!!! Have a great dinner!! You know all the right things to do and it will be great! Are you waiting til VDAY for the gift? Take it slow, the above are both good advice. Good news for you, hurray!! <P>Dana

Lonelymom,<P>I wish I could, but I leave Sunday for a business trip out of state. (H will be staying at the house with the kids). Hopefully, he will realize how much he misses being with us all. I know I miss him. I think I'm going to go ahead and give all their gifts to them tonight (kids too). Thanks so much. H just called me on the phone. He's taking the kids to a local state park and wants me to meet them there as soon as I get off work. (I know, I know - wasting company time on the internet . I really don't want to get too "up" about all this, but I think it's a positive step.<P>Blessed be.<P><P>------------------<BR>Keridwen