I'm thinking of making a proposal to my wife. I would like her to commit to 1 year of abiding by the marriage builder's plans. Give this family one last chance to survive intact. After one year she is free to do as she pleases and I will not stop her or bother her about saving the marriage etc...<P>My quandry is this. If she says no, will I ever be able to ask this again? Will I have burned that bridge? If she says yes, and it doesn't work out, I will have put the last nail in the coffin myself.<P>Maybe it's too early to ask. She is still in major withdrawal. OM has been out of the picture for just over one month and I know contact was made once with OM. But she's making plans to move out. I reeeeeealy don't want that. I don't know how much time I have with her before she moves out. I certainly can't ask this the day she announces that she's moving out. I'm getting nervous that she's really going to do it, and soon.<P>Mabe there's a better way to do this without putting my head on the chopping block after one year. Of course, after a year on the program, if we don't see results, maybe it really is hopeless. I don't know.<P>Should I bring this up now or wait and see. If I wait, wait for what?

For now I say don't do it. This would only put more pressure on her to stay. I suggest that you apologize for this morning and just tell her that you will be fine with whatever decision she makes. If she stays, be thankful, if she leaves, help her find an apartment and help her move her things. Be the husband who understands that if she wants to move out to get herself together, that you will be fine with it. Let her know that if she would prefer to stay in the house, that you will find an apartment. <P>I know that this will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but if you will do whatever it takes to meet her needs, I really think that her feelings toward you will change.<P>May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.<BR>John

It seems that helping her move is saying that I really don't care if she breaks up this family or not. This seperation issue is really confusing me. Won't it also make reconcilliation harder if she's gone?