Jamie-lee, I know it's a shock, but bellieve me there's some time yet, many things can change until them.<BR>I to heard my H saying he was leaving and divorcing me as soon as possible. He too was calm and looked like he had thought about it long and hard and reached the conclusion it was the best thing to do.He didn't care for me, or so he felt at the time, and contrary to yours, couldn't care less if he was hurting me or not ( his words ).I too panicked and felt that was it.<BR>However, it never happened, and we're doing great for over a year.<BR>I understand the feeling that you have nothing else to give, and that maybe this is it. But don't forget this thoughts are coming out just after the "news" and we should never act under the effects of such pressure. DOn't decide anything just now, maybe you can't continue plan A, maybe you can. Maybe it won't work, maybe it will, but don't think about it now, try to relax as much as you can, do something that you enjoy and has a calming effect on you.<BR>I'll be thinking of you.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

jamie do you have your yahoo turned off I cant get you on a pm I'm on under AKRACEFAN<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Butterfly,<P>Thankyou for the Big Hug and the prayers. Yes it is hard. And the worst part is--there's nothing I can do. I can't force him to feel what he doesn't feel. I can't make him love me the way I wish he would. <P>I think I will try to get some rest if I can. I hate feeling so helpless!<P>

Kat,<P>Your words are very encouraging. I want so much for us to be a family. I want us to be inserperable. I love him. I can't hide it from him so I won't even try to. But I don't know what else I can do? You're right, I'll probably have more hope later. I'm just in shock. But as H would say,"you act like you never saw this coming"<P><BR>Lesa,<BR>I have my yahoo messenger turned on.<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Jamie Lee,<P>Oh sweetie I am so sorry and I can't believe I missed this! Please forgive me! I am praying.<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jamie Lee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>I am so incredibly sorry that you are feeling this way and you are going through this.<P>You need to first try and take it easy. I said take as I know that is nearly impossible to do right now.<P>You are worn out. You are short circuited and you need to recharge. You are in shock! That is a natural reaction to what you have just heard.<P>Once you have had time to recoup you will be able to make choices on what to do that is right for you at this time.<P>I agree with others it is not over necessarily. When you recharge if you choose to you can plan A your bottom off. I still have hope. That does not mean not to face reality it simply means faith. You will deal with the reality as it comes to you moment by moment. The faith is in that of things we can't see. Remember?<P>I wish that I could be there with you right now and hold you, and we could just sit there and talk. Know though that God is with you.<P>I will keep praying and I will light the candle for you.<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jamie Lee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>Oh how I wish I could be of more help and comfort to you. I will leave that into the very capable hands of Jesus.<P>Much love honey<P><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't loose. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B>

Samantha,<P>I wish that you were here too! You and many others have become juss like family. Thank you for always being here for me. I hope that you know, that I will do the same.<P>I do need to recharge. I feel like every bit of energy I had was taken out of me in that one phone call. <P>But you're right, I do need to recoup and I will think things over. Thankyou for your prayers, your hugs and encouragement!!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

jamie-lee,<P>I am with you...in the same boat. I am so sorry, becuase I know your heart is breaking right now. <P>All I can say is that no matter what happens, you WILL survive and you WILL be happy again.<P>God has put the resources in your life to weather this storm or any other...you have all of us to lean on and to vent to. <P>I will have you in my prayers and thoughts all today. Keep strong, becuase really you ARE strong, my friend!!!<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

(((((Jamie)))))<P>I don't even know you, but when I read your post I started to cry. I know how you feel darlin', I really do. My H told me 3 days ago he wants a divorce. You are surrounded by so much love here, just don't let go of that. I know how hard it is to focus on anything but the pain...but you will be OK. Keep your chin up. <P>Blessed be.<P><P>------------------<BR>Keridwen

Jamie,<P>I appologize for being a day late, I hope you are better than last night?? <P>I am with Keridwen, my H told me 3 days ago about divorce too. I dread it just as much as you. I imagine the shock is horrible when those papers actually come.<P>I am pretty sure I read a post of yours last week about you going to see H and a woman coming to the door? Was that yours? <P>You have until April, don't lose your strength now, Plan A and be calm, its not too late, even after divorce, its not too late. Your in my prayers.

Roll Me Away,<BR>Thank you for your prayers. I still feel like I'm in mirrored house and I can't find my way out. It does hurt. But I tried to get out the house today and not think about it so much. But ofcourse, it's all I thought about. I found myself, crying at a stop light. Crying at the sight of a family in the mall. Just outright pitiful. I know that I will weather this storm. But right now, I can't see anything. I'm trying real hard to hold on to my faith, but I feel like I'm losing my grip!<P>keridwen,<BR>Thank you and I'm sorry for your pain as well. It just doesn't seem fair. I appreciate your encouraging words, and I will keep you in my prayers as well.<P>lonelymom,<BR>Yes that was my post. I've been keeping up with yours as well and I hate that you are going through so much. Thank you for your kind words. I will try to stay strong, but I don't know if I can do plan A anymore. I barely have the motivation.<P>Everyone,<BR>I think its time to let go. And just work on me. I won't LB or anything, but I just don't think I have the strength to try anymore. I'm not worth fighting for in his eyes so why fight for him. This has gone on too long. Yes I love him. Yes I want my marriage to be reconciled, but I don't want to hurt anymore. To love is to be vunerable. I have tried to not let any walls build up, but involuntarily those walls have been put up. I need to heal. I've cried every tear, I've done all I can do. I've taken off my rings just as he did long time ago. I should have taken the hint then.<P>Your prayers are appreciated! <P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Quick update for those interested:<BR> <BR>He called to say that he probably wouldn't be able to come this weekend because he had to work. I don't even care. I couldnt believe it. I actually don't care if he comes or not. I just said 'alright, is that all.' H said yes and I was just like "alrgiht see you when I see you, bye!" I don't know where all my emotions went. I'm so confused, but I can actually feel the walls that I put up around my heart. Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble...<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Jamie Lee:<BR>This is a day late but I wanted you to know that you should feel the way you feel. YOU HAVE A HEART and that is good. Please don't close up it serves no purpose. Right now you have no sight if where you will be in the future. Perhaps as the others have experienced your H will remain. But you need to remember YOU ARE GOOD AND TRUE BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND THE PROSPECT OF GOODS THINGS COMING. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF FIRST. THIS IS THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN. <P> Take care of yourself <P><BR>

Your emotions will shut down to protect you. Shock. Numbness. Just take really good care of yourself so that it doesn't become permanent. Get some rest. Then get some exercise. Eat right. I know this all sounds so trite, but it is easy to forget.<P>Take care.

Jackee,<BR><B>Perhaps as the others have experienced your H will remain. </B><P>I know that deep inside this is what I hope for, but it's hard for me to feel that right now. I don't even want to talk to him. I was sort of relieved that he had to work this weekend and couldn't come down. Thank you for your encouragement. I do believe in myself, and I am going to continue to work on me.<P>Lor,<BR>Your right, it is easy to forget. I haven't been able to get much rest at all. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. <P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Jamie Lee <P>A few days ago I was numb. I agree with Lor. It must have been a way for me to get through the week because the pain I am enduring is getting worse by the day.<P>Just 2 days after I was numb, I feel pain now more than ever. Almost like its intensified from "not" feeling it a few day. It just makes the roller coaster all the more worse.<P>Try not to make any quick decisions when you are numb. Because your mind is not functioning fully at that time. I know, I made a few mistakes when I was numb. <P>This feeling of numbness, must be a way for us to cope instead of breaking down. Almost wonder if thats what betrayers feel at a time when they cause so much pain on the betrayed. Because they normally aren't nasty people.<P>Hope you are feeling ok today.