Lacee,<BR>Thanks for the hugs and prayers. They do really help!<P>Kat,<BR>I did attack her. Alot of what I said had to do with things she's said about me and my kids, but some of it was uncalled for. She's the best person in the world to him right now. And because I found out about him and her, I'm the worst. He thinks that I shouldn't have found out anything. Too bad for him, but he left because he felt like he had to since I found out. <P>Anything I tell him, he hasn't listened to. (Wonder why?) But it has made him think a little. He asks for details that I know and gets a dumbfounded look on his face. I want her to mess up so bad.<P>Keosha,<BR>She is definately a bad influence. I told him yesterday that after all the things she said to me about our kids, they will not be around her. I will get a restraining order if I have to. But he's never mentioned taking the kids around her. <P>I already know a lot about her. She is an alcoholic, a drug user and a drug dealer. She is under investigation by the State Police in our area. H may get caught up in it if he stays there for long. Nice place to be, huh?<P>NoTrust,<BR>I am going to pick myself up and dust myself off. It's just so hard! <BR>Thanks for the prayers!!

Mitzi<P>Okay, I <B>know</B> it's hard. You will need to be super strong sbout this (listen to me talking --hahahah). <B>She will mess this up on her own</B>. She sounds almost as totally brainless as my H's OW. <P>He will get tired of it. Eventually she will say or do something too demanding and your H will start to wake up to reality. IMHO I think your H is already beginning to see it, he just doesn't want you to be the one to point it out to him.

Rcoaster, you are right! <BR>They will mess up on their own with time.<BR>Mitzi, you're doing fine. Just make sure that you think before you burst and try to avoid getting her in the middle for a while, let him"digest" what he learned, and do as rcoaster says give her space to mess up by herself. SHe will, you know! I stepped back and watched - is it allowed to say "in a very amused way"? - as she started LB herself and messing up more and more.<BR>Take care<BR>Hugs<BR>Kat<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

RC,<BR>Thanks for the advice. It is hard to follow but it's possible. I WILL not bring her up again. I will let her self-destruct. It will come in time. It's just the waiting that makes it look impossible.<P>Kat,<BR>I will be amused when it blows up. Maybe not a nice thing to say but even if he wouldn't come straight home to me at least he won't be with her. That's what I want for now. He has tried to give up everything. I've even put off getting a lawyer, because I think this will be over soon. I have talked to the family law master in our area and gotten advice, but that's it. I hope it doesn't last long enough for him to file papers. Of course, if he does, I have to answer before it can proceed. I will not answer. If it comes to that I will stall as long as I can.<P>Thanks for all the advice. I WILL follow it so that I don't let you all, me or m kids down!!!<P>Love,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>I don't know where I have been because I didn't see this post ealier. <P>Why can't all these betrayers just open their eyes and look at the piece of trash they are leaving their W for anyway. It is disgusting what some people will do for one of their needs to be met, seems much easier to have talked to their loving W before all this instead of the deception, lies and affairs. It sounds like most of the OW that are involved with the H's on this site, are all psycho, loony women. What's the story with that?? <P>Pick yourself up and try try again until you get your wish. We are human. We all make mistakes (thats what we say about our betrayers right? So why can't we make one too). It will be ok.

Lonelymom,<BR>You are just the posting fool aren't you?? LOL Really, I did the same thing when I started coming here. I actually got addicted! LOL It really does help though, someone else is actually going thru the same thing we are. <P>I've been following your story. I have a hard time posting to the "newbies" I really don't know what to tell them since I can't seem to work my own life out!<P>I will hang in there. I want my fmaily back and I'm determined to get that. I know there are alot of looney OP's talked about on the forum. What happened to the spouses we had before? I sometimes wonder if they will ever come back.

Mitzi, just one more piece of advice....<P>don't make the mistake I did and say I told you so. I don't know what made me do that<BR>(well I do - I was mad and couldn't keep MY mouth shut) but it doesn't help.<P>Claire

Claire,<BR>I will not say I told ya so! I will say it to myself but definately not to him. I will probably jump up and down and do a happy dance but not in front of him!! LOL<P>I want him to feel like he can come home and not be uncomfortable with me in our home!!<P>Thanks for the little tidbit!