Just curiouse as to how many fellow Minnesotans we have posting here.<BR>I'm from southern Minnesota, farm country.<P>Jill

Live in MN, not from MN. I'm in North Central MN.<P>I think there are a lot of us from MN. Does that mean there is more infidelity in MN than everywhere else? Or does it have to do with the fact of the Harley radio show airs in Minneapolis. <P>How did you find this site?<P>I did a search on infidelity and came here - but after much much much prayer.<P>How are you doing today C O W?<P>This gloomy weather doesn't help my happiness level..... Ha ha external influences.... Hmmmm.<p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited September 07, 1999).]

From my name, you can tell I am from MN too. Currently in Mpls. But originally from small town in West Central MN. <P>Found this site by doing a search on infidelity also. 4 weeks plus a couple of days since D day. In plan B right now. OW in town (from a foreign country) with H trying to see if they can make it work. <P>So much for Minnesota Nice.

Found this site looking for info on infidelity.<P>Love this state have lived here all of my life, couldn't think of a better place to raise kids. <P>I have to wonder if there is more infidelity here in Mn or if that we Mn are brought up with that scandinavian sense of committment.<BR>I think that we are just too stubborn to lose what we have.<BR>Ya, sure ya betcha!<P>[This message has been edited by crazy or what? (edited September 07, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by crazy or what? (edited September 07, 1999).]

Definitely there is a different culture here, and from my exposure to anonymity in Southern California to accountability in a rural Minnesota area - it seems that everybody's cheatin' - or at least it is so much more well known when someone does cheat. There's not much else to talk about here! Ha ha.<P>The town bar is different here - where I'm from, you don't go in a bar unless you are looking for something or someone - and here it is socializing and more of a lifestyle. Also, I notice men are more selfish here, and the women seem loose. Men tend to not even sit at the same side of the restaurant with their wives, they sit together. The wives sit together. It's not so much couple activities but his activities and her activities. It could be the people we live around? My husband has 5 sisters and one brother living, and they all live in this town of 152, except for one sister who still lives in California where we lived before.<P>I don't know if there is a survey or anything like that available, regarding regional cultures and infidelity, but it sure would be interesting - and I would imagine Minnesota would be one of the tops for infidelity.<P>

TNT- You are very correct about your take on rural Minnesotans. I do believe that men here are selfish. They are still brought up that women are here to do for them. Hope I don't offend anyone but it is a true assumption. We girls talk about it at work alot. It is true that going to the bar is the big past time here. Men at the pool tables playing with the young single girls and the wives at the tables *****ing about the men. My H and I are an exception. We didn't go to the bars very often. We mainly stayed home together. I have been out more now since he left and have really made some of those same observations. It's not that way for everyone but a good majority of the people that live in my small town of 2000.<BR>When my H moved out my whole story was out in 2 days and people I didn't even know where asking me about it.

My husband retreated to MN 3 times during difficult times in his marriage, once with the first marriage and twice since he married me. He came here to be around his family - his support system?... (yuck or rather ISH LOL).<P>So, after the last time he moved here I followed him 5 months later. <P>When I got here, I went to the little store where the mailbox's are located. (No mail delivery ISH). Every time I went there, there were comments to me about how I needed to get a job to keep myself busy, and how my little boy needed to be in the daycare around the corner.... These were the same things my husband and his family were telling me.<P>The POJA was that I wasn't to work because I didn't want to be responsible to shovel snow or drive on ice, which I had never done before in my life. I am used to being sort of catered to. Guess what! POJA out the window, and I drive on ice, and husband is out of town every time a stupid snowstorm comes.... ISH!!!!<P>Oh, well. It is a pleasant place to raise kids, as long as you distance yourself from the negatives in the culture. I don't agree with the bar lifestyle either. It breeds trouble.<P>

Wow- I moved away from a small town 25 years ago (and now live in Mpls) so don't see the small town side of MN like the two of you. Very interesting. Guess I need to pay more attention when I go 'home' to visit. You two are seeing things I've never noticed - probably because I am not around it. <P>I do know that word travels fast in a small town. There are NO secrets and it seems that sometimes other people know more about you than you do!

Yeah, Roberta - and when you hear a story 3 times in the cities - you can think it might be true? Kind of like a reporter who should verify the story 3 ways? <P>Up here (near Fergus Falls) - you can't count on it. Everybody is retelling the same story.<P>My SIL's boyfriend plays games for fun in the winter..... We can always count on him coming up with a wild story that he tells just one person. We count how long it takes to come back to us, and see how it has changed.<P>Boy, I miss the action in the city.....LOL!!!

I'm new to the forum, but I live in a suburb of Minneapolis. W is from Rosemount. She is having affair with rich, married foreigner...lives with him (his wife & 4 kids in Germany) nd last week W filed for divorce. When will this nightmare end?

Shattered- Sorry to hear that you are going through this to. I guess I should say welcome to this forum. You will find that having this forum to go to will help you immensely.(sp?) I believe that your pain will ease in time,how much time, that's something that most of us here are dealing with ourselves. Just know that there are alot of people here to talk to that will understand you and what you are going through. You are not alone.<P>Jill

tnt - I grew up outside of Alexandria - been to FF many many times. Know that part of the state very well. <P>Shattered - I saw your postings over the weekend and felt a kindred spirit with the foreign connection. MY H met OW in England in May. They corresponded, had a reunion in July in Boston, I found out 8/8/99 about them. OW is in town now with 2 1/2 year old son w/H seeing if they can make a go of it. H is 52. We've been married 15 mos. 2nd Marraige for both. No kids. They are at a hotel (don't know where). Hard to believe. I've spent these last 4 weeks (since D) really focusing on myself. I have good days and bad. The first couple weeks were pure H*&^, don't know how I survived. I've lost 12 pounds, still can't eat. Doing Plan B for me (and its been easier to stay with than I thought). She's supposed to leave Thursday and then H and I will be talking this weekend... <P>Come to this board for support. It has saved me (and I'm in therapy, talking with friends, etc). This board is what is making the difference for me between staying sane and going crazy. <P>------------------<BR>

I grew up in MN. I now live in So CA. Actually I just returned from a quick vacation in MN last night. My family all still lives in MN. I needed their support this weekend.

Hoping <BR>Just read your story. Know that there are people out here (like me) that are thinking about you.

Dear Hoping,<P>My family lives in So Ca. I have kids, grandkids and a sister sprinkled all over So CA. That is my support system. I know how you feel.<P>Connie

It felt really good to be in MN this weekend with my family. All my immediate family was together in Brainerd. It made me realize that I'm not alone in this. My familyl is still there even if they are 2000 mi away. It really made me stronger.