FHL<BR>I'm with you on abolishing V-day. I'd like to abolish all special occasions. In my life every one of them has been contaminated.<BR>Last year H took me out to supper since it was a week after he had "ended" it with the bimbo. He was there in body. Little did I know that he had bought my gift the day before when he drove an hour and a half to spend the day before V-day with the bimbo.<BR>Okay enough wallowing. <BR>I tried yesterday to avoid acknowledging the day. H bought me a palm sander and a box of chocolates.<BR>I have come to the conclusion that I would really like to avoid all holidays til I feel that I have healed a bit. You see he made a great big deal out of it last year but it was all a lie. <BR>Do you think we could just throw out the calendars?<BR>Take care honey. You know they are a little dense. He does love you though. You know that!

Wow, I have a computer again! Finally my house (most of it) is decorated and the furniture and computer have come out from their dropcloth hibernation. I’ve missed this forum. While the rest of you guys have your pity party, let me tell you about the other side of the coin. See that person over there looking really sheepish? The one with egg on her face? That’s me – the doink in the corner. Once again, I blew it. <P>I had left hubby cards all over the house. The mushy type, the kind he buys - I always go for the humorous ones. In the fridge, in his car, coat pocket, etc. I waited for him to call me, and was upset that he didn't. I was running a fever and by the time I got home, was just plan miserable.<P>I got home to dimmed lights, a lobster dinner (drawn butter, the works). Beautiful bouquet of flowers, freshly-ironed linens, candles, and a new CD on the stereo (my favourite song is on the Nottinghill soundtrack). No kids in sight, clean house, met at the door with a glass of champagne. I ducked upstairs to get changed and met my kids – pizza, pop and chips in my bedroom and enuf videos to last a week. Dad told them they were banned from the downstairs coz we were having a proper “date”. They pushed me down the stairs saying we were banned from upstairs until …. giggle, giggle (our youngest figures until Alley McBeal comes on). The little one says do I like the flowers? Yes. And my other surprise, the special one? Uh … <P>So downstairs I go, thinking what a perfect V-day. Wonderful dinner, a romantic dance to my favourite song (tripping over the dog), I gave him his gifts, we watched a tape, I was waiting for my “special surprise”. Nothing. Finally, after much guessing and some creative hinting, I finally realize its not coming. Now this is really stupid, after the great night, but I felt disappointed! He noticed, asked what was wrong, was I disappointed. His feelings were hurt, mine were hurt, eventually I learned that my little boy’s were hurt (it was HIS present he was asking about – duh). What a ending. <P>Later we went to “watch Alley McBeal”, but I hadn’t been feeling well all day, and that wasn’t great either. As we were falling asleep, he moved away from me coz I was running a fever and was too hot (I knew I was burning up). <P>I feel like dying my hair red and marrying a Cuban. <BR><p>[This message has been edited by moira2 (edited February 15, 2000).]

I don't know what to say to you Lor. I really did have nothing but the greatest of intentions to give you a really nice day and to let you know that you are the love of my life. You feel like you owe me something, and I feel like I owe you for saving my life, and it is such a great debt and heavy burden that I will never be able to repay you for it. <P>How do you repay someone for saving their life? <P>

Hope you don't mind if I spill some of my pity here to. <P>I have been dreading Vday for a year now. My wife started her affair last Vday by sneaking away to the othermans house for what she claims was the best sex she ever had. Needless to say, I wanted to skip the big Vday this year. Decided to bite the bullet though this year and send my wife a dozen roses at work. I figured if I wanted to be married, I needed to act like it. Well when she got home from work, it ends up the florist doubled my order and sent 2 dozen roses. My wife didn't act to happy however and looked like she had been crying all day. Most of the people she works with know that she had an affair and apparently the rumor mongers were wondering if the flowers were from her husband or the other man. Seems like her biggest concern was what everyone else thought about her and not that I was making an attempt to get on with our marriage and show her that I am trying to love her. She also told me she saw the other man on the floor at the hospitol she works on a couple of weeks ago. She didn't bother to tell me about this when it happened, and was telling me how she was so sorry that she wrecked her chance to be friends with the guy by turning their relationship sexual. As far as I know that was all their relationship was about. Her sadness about the loss of friendship is a turn from what she told me in December about how the guy was an a55h*l@ that used her. Anyway, talk of lost friendship was what I heard from her last year when I found out she started pursueing the guy again.<P>Anyway, enough and on to another year and more holiday memories to look forward to.

Hey, I may be a day late and a dollar short but I want in on this party too! <P>Well my V day started out great. Flowers and 2 cards in the morning and an e-greeting on my e-mail at work. He ordered a nice dinner in for the two of us, lit some candles for effect. After dinner I was excited to give him my gift, a pot he admired in a shop we went to together (he collects pottery). I even wrapped in this homemade paper he likes so much. And then I realized he did not get me anything! We have always exhanged gifts on Valentines day in the past. I was so hurt. I just went upstairs and went to bed. I could not even talk. I was just stunned. Not even a jar of olives (I love olives!)<P>I suppose it could have been worse but given his past (very romantic) it was hard to take.<BR>BBut lets not banish any holiday except our SO birthdays. Let's just learn to enjoy them for ourselves and make them happy in spite of our thoughtless spouses.<BR>Acacia

To be fair, I just had to tell you guys H came home tonight and apologized repeatedly for messing up Valentine's Day and making me sad. He kept telling me he really had tried to think of things, just didn't do anything. Actually for him I guess this showed effort.<P>He also wondered if he got me a belated Valentine's card if it would make it better or worse. Thought that was kind of funny.<P>He asked one guy at work what he had gotten his wife and he responded..."oh, I was thinking of doing the dishes for her one night this week."<P>Guess he works with some pretty unromantic geeks. He fits right in.<P>Anyway, I'm done with my pity party.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Well, I'm late too.... go figure! <P>I got exactly what I expected..... Nothing. I gave exactly the same. The Divorce should be final soon, I'm just surprised I didn't get the final papers yesterday. <P>I did get something today from my doctor... he thinks I have ulcers (have a UGI next week), my triglicirides are beyond the danger zone, hormonal imbalance, etc... I'm going to start rattling like a maricca from all the meds I'm now on, and ..... as soon as the D is final, I won't have any health insurance. <P>I guess I'm a little down because I didn't even get anything from my Dad this year... he always gets us (sis & I) candy for V-day. I was really looking forward to that this year, since I knew I wouldn't get any pink roses from H. <P>No cards, no candy, no flowers, no phone calls.... nothing.<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>