I think its time for plan B. I simply cannot have my H stay in this house and go and see her. I asked him last night if he was going to come home at night or spend the night there. He said "it all depends" WOW. We have been looking for a less expensive car for me to drive, so when I moved out of MY HOUSE, I would be able to support myself and kids. Well today I came to the conclusion that I don't want to move out of MY HOUSE. This house belonged to me long before he came into the picture, and before we were married, why in the world would I move out and let her move in????? I talked to a couple of people at work today and they are interested in renting out a room. THAT would work. Well I called my H to tell him that Maybe I needed to go to a REAL cheap car, so I didn't have to move out of the house. He was not happy about this, if you could have heard his voice!! He has been so pleasant lately (when I cooperate with what HE wants)but today boy was it COLD!! He then proceeded to ask me when I would make my decision cuz he was going to go buy a house then. I haven't told him about the possible roomates yet, THAT should be interesting!!! They are two young kids that I work with, they are in the military and looking to get out of the barracks. I have a four bdroom house and if I rent out two rooms I could LIVE!!! Why in the world should I make it easy on him and the OW is beyond me. She is living in an apt. and I don't think he would ever live in an apt again, hes too important for that!! He was looking forward to moving her into MY HOUSE. Last night when we were talking, he said he doesn't drink when hes with her (by the way he is an alcoholic), he doesn't need to cuz "she makes him happy", wait until the dirty laundry comes out!!! A friend of mine says she is worried about me cuz I have not showed any emotions during this, just kinda mater-of-fact, she thinks im still in shock or in denial. I am starting to feel , I am tired of getting taken advantage of. Please someone give me some feedback on this, Its been a week since all this happened and I am going CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you have the right idea! I was going to give in and move out of our house also. Then I realized what my options were... Move in with my parents in my hometown of 600 people. What a nightmare! It sort of made me sick to my stomach thinking about it. That was when I decided I was not moving out of my house! I tell you what, that through my husband for a loop!!! The thing is, I still plan on moving but not until this summer. The house will be sold also. If we don't lose it to foreclosure first. As of last night, he moved in with the ow. Or at least I am assuming he did. He had been staying with his brother out of state. This was to get him away from the ow and a chance for us to work on our marriage. Well, he packed up everything he could fit in his car and left. My post is "He left... On Valentine's Day no less". Well, he didn't come home so I know he is with her. Let's see, it has been 24 hours since he left and he still hasn't had the nerve to call me and tell me what he has done. Anyway, he won't need the house now because she got herself one of those real nice trailer homes. So, they can shack up together in there. I am being a smart a** if you hadn't noticed. I hope no one takes offense! So, for now, I have the house, which his name is still on the mortgage, so, if he doesn't help with the payments until it is sold, he will go right down the financial tubes with me. I know he is at least smart enough that he doesn't want that to happen. <P>Anyway, I think you are very smart to stay put in your house! Don't give your husband the satisfaction of giving it to him. YOU GO GIRL!!!<P>On the emotion thing... I have been the same way. Right now I am still numb. I have known about the affair for over two and a half months now. As I told you, he left last night and I am sure he is living with her. I am devastated! But, I can't feel much of anything right now. I have a friend who is divorced and she keeps telling me the anger will come. I guess right now, I am trying to keep it all together for the sake of my kids and my sanity! Not an easy task!<P>I did have my boys conferences at school today and both their teachers said they are smart and wonderful boys. They are proud of them. They complimented me on that! So, I must be doing something right!<P>I wish you the best of luck! I know the whole thing just sucks! I am sorry to see anyone go through this mess!!!<P>~Woozy

Good! Don't move out of your house. It was your house before you even married him, so why should you let him have it?<P>As far as the roommates, I wouldn't even tell him. If you are in Plan B, then it isn't his business anyway.<P>Good luck in your Plan B.

um.....I am canadian, so I don't know a thing about laws down there in the great U.S. of A, but it's your house?.....deed's in your name?....is his name anywhere to be found?...is this a community property thing?<P>I'd go for the roomates, and tell him to go live with her or better yet, to go to ....<P><BR>Dylan<BR>-struggling to be polite....

Thanks guys!!!!!!!! Yes I'm in a community property state. We just added his name on within the last year, ISN'T THAT GREAT!!!!! I talked to him before the post came up and told him about the roomies, he said to be careful, duh. Dylan please don't be polite!! I think one thing thats really hard for me, I always try and find positive in people, and I really trust people. You would think that as many times as I have been burned that I wouldn't trust people!! Relationships and friends and co-workers, its amazing that some people are sooooo different than what they show you! A very good friend of mine was a child molester, I could have died when I found that one out. Never in my life would I have expected that, he couldn't talk about sex with out getting all embarassed!!! You never know. My H said I could always trust him, and look whats happened. He called and said he was coming over at 8 (after work), we shall see, what happened to the OW, or is it to work on me about the house and what a terrible mistake im making!! I will keep you posted PLEASE keep up with the advice I NEED IT!!!!

Troublec,<P>I have to chime in too...<P>I've seen it too often!!!<BR><B>DON'T MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE</B>!<P>This is <B>very</B> important!<P>He must learn about the consequences of his continued affair! That's what Plan B is all about!<P>Even Plan A has consequences... and you can enable him to get deeper into the "benefits" of the affair.<P>Prayers... <P>Jim

Thanks, I am determined to stay, whatever it takes!! Well, I posted something somewhere, but to continue, my H called this am and said he had been taken out of management cuz of his affair (shes the receptionist), he sounded really down, told him Im here for him. This afternoon I called (she answered the phone, I HATE THAT)anyways, he was very positive, "i'll make more money this way, no more stress or responsibility" etc etc. I thought for sure this would hit home, HE LOVES HIS JOB!! Well, I have to be patient on this first the marriage, then the job, next a small little apartment (where she lives). I would want for myself if I was involved in a relationship with someone else for things to improve in my life not this!!! I pray he can come to his senses!!!!!!!!!!!

Troublec: Sounds like "reality" is starting to settle in for your H. Let's hope and pray that he wakes up in time before he loses EVERYTHING that is important to him.